The Road To Berlin
"Oh my god Stefan!!!" Lena yelled, her voice filled with exitement, "Did you hear? Did you hear?!?!"
"Is this about Blue again? Not again, Lena. I'm so sick of hearing about-"
"BLUE'S GOING TO BE ON THE EUROVISION OH MY GOD!"
"Alright, alright Lena-"
"I'm going to meet Blue! Oh my god!"
Lena had been talking about Blue for quite a while now, she was so exited that she would finally be meeting Blue, for tonight was the night of the first semi final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2011.
"Blue!!!" Lena yelled.
"Lena," Stefan sighed, "God damn it. I'm sick of hearing about Blue."
"But Blue are so cool! And so good! Blue!!!!! I love Blue!!!!"
"Blue suck. They stink like a barrel of rotten eggs and fermented fish."
"Shut up Stefan!" Lena said, "Blue are great and everyone loves Blue!!! Blue are the best, and with their masterpiece they will win Eurovision 2011!"
"Huh, so you don't have much confidence in your own song... then, Lena?" Stefan asked.
"Well, of course I do silly, and I hope for a high placing in the Eurovision," Lena smiled, "But I cannot win, for that is an honour that only Blue can have."
"Come on Lena, now isn't the time to be talking about Blue! We have to get to the stadium! It's nearly the first semi final!"
"This has all come around so fast! It's totally crazy!" Lena smiled.
"I know, I know Lena, so, are we taking the monorail to Dusseldorf?"
"Great, then let's go already, and remember, today you will meet your idols Blue!"
"Blue!!! I love Blue!!!" Lena yelled, jumping up and down.
"Come on Lena, it's time to go already. Today is the day of the first Eurovision Semi Final!"
And so the two set off, . The participants had been rehearsing their songs for quite a while now, and it was finally the big night!
Meanwhile, two dark figures stood, peering through a set of metal railings at an elephant enclosure.
"These will do nicely..." Terry Wogan laughed evilly to himself as he looked at the animals.
Winston was by his side, and there they stood, looking through the railings, all by themselves in the middle of Berlin Zoo. Or so they thought.
"I knew you'd come here..." Josh Dubovie stepped out from the bushes.
"Aha, Josh," Terry stepped back, "What are you doing here?"
"So... over a year later and now you are dictator of Britain. How did you escape from the Norwegian jail?" Josh ignored the question.
"The same as you did, of course. Those incompetent police couldn't guard a sack of rice. Haha. Now, I ask again, what are you doing here?"
"Merely looking, as a neutral bystander this time."
"Hmmm... you spent 10 seconds with them in the PVR and now you no longer want to have anything to do with my plan? Someone as weak-willed as you shouldn't be allowed to help us anyway. It is no great loss," Terry smirked.
"You deceived me," Josh hissed, "You tricked me into going with your plan. There were no 'diamonds of Norway'."
"It doesn't matter whether you help us or not, now leave this place," Winston snarled.
"But we must thank you Josh, for your actions during the royal wedding," Terry smiled, "Me and Blue wouldn't be here without you."
"My phone..." Terry whispered.
"Ok, get lost Josh, we've had enough of you," Winston said.
"As I have had enough of you," Josh said, walking off until he was sure Terry and Winston were convinced he was gone, when in reality he had used the cover of darkness to slip back into the bushes and spy on the one who had betrayed him.
"Yes?" Terry answered the phone.
"Yes, hello Terry," it was Andrew Lloyd-Webber.
"Ah, hello, thanks for the heads up on the whole Lithuania thing. Anyway, I've gone ahead with the plan, we'll get our robot back."
"Hmmm... I've been thinking..." Andrew sounded concerned.
"Yes? What is it? Don't tell me you're having second thoughts..."
"Well, no. Not exactly. It's just that... well... they saved the Americans. They saved them. So don't-"
"They saved the Americans? And? So what?" Terry snapped.
"They did a great thing-"
"No! They did not do a great thing! Doing a great thing would have been to leave the PVR alone, and left the Americans in that barren wasteland! America has been nothing but a hindrance to the British Empire! But tonight, tonight, we will see a rebirth, our very own renaissance, of the British Empire! Ahahaha!"
Terry jumped up onto a higher patch of grass and looked at the full moon.
"Ahahaha, Lena was a prototype robot, you know this already, yes Andrew?"
"Well... sort of..."
"Indeed, with just a simple scan we can copy her data onto other robots... only... modified."
"Yes, once a robot has been made it's no good trying to modify it, useless robots, but, if we make new ones... we could add... weapons..."
"I don't know what you're trying to suggest, Terry," Andrew said at last, "Your plan is foolish, it will not work. It is simply ridiculous to assume that it will! We need to get Lena back, that is all. I don't know what you're saying about the British Empire, none of this makes any sense."
"Have you ever seen the movie Terminator?" Terry asked, "We'll reclaim the British Empire with our robots..."
"But Terry, that wasn't the original intention! We just wanted to win a contest with our singing robot and make Britain lots of money!"
"Yeah?" Terry asked, "Well plans change. Things change. The Eurovision's popularity changed. Everyone loves it now. We can use this to our advantage... we can use the Eurovision to our advantage! First things first, let's test the animal control device."
"What? Terry no, that's not even ready!!!"
"Well, that's just too bad..."
"I'm not giving it to you, Terrance."
"Too late, I took it with me," Terry laughed, before taking a small silver box out of his pocket. It had just one, large, red button on it.
"Wha-" Andrew said before Terry switched off his mobile.
"This isn't even... about Eurovision anymore... this is about so much more. And now, for the beginning... of the revolution!!!" Terry yelled, pressing the button on the silvery box.
The box glowed a bright light, and all the animals in the zoo stopped. Elephants halted in their spot. Monkeys stopped running around. The meerkats stood to attention. Animals that had been sleeping were now wide awake, or so it seemed.
"Next, turning off the electric fences," Terry said, as he pressed the button again which sent out a weak shockwave, turning off all the electrical fences.
"Excellent, now then, follow me!" Terry laughed, as the meerkats scaled the fences, elephants broke through their enclosures, and lions and tigers pushed boxes to jump their high fences.
The animals followed Terry Wogan down the grassy path, and onto the streets of Berlin.
Passersby looked on in shock, but didn't want to get involved in the commotion, so they went back to their homes and stayed there.
"Nothing to see here, just passing through," Terry said with a grin.
The animals followed him all the way to the top of a hill, and in the distance they saw a group of trees, standing together.
"Looks like a forest..." Terry thought, "Well, a few more animals couldn't hurt now, could it?"
Meanwhile, on the edge of a forest, which was not so far away, a young-looking man dressed all in green peered out, looking to the city that was nearby. He tilted his green top-hat slightly.
He heard the footsteps of the animals in the distance, but couldn't see them yet. He mistook the sound for the bulldozers and cranes that he heard so often in the cities.
"The humans are approaching Bela..." he whispered to a blue bird that was flying nearby him, "We must make haste..."
"Farin you must stop them from coming here," the bird tweeted, "Only you have the gift to talk to animals. The humans treat us as nothing. They will destroy our home. Your home."
"Hmmm? Thinkest thou that I would even let them in here? Ha, I have watched humanity. Sitting here while the world has gone by, they know nothing but destruction. They destroy and yet they do not know of it. If thou canst, please gather all of the other animals, I sense that the humans will come here soon..."
"I know... and I know what you're thinking..."
"I'm thinking that this has something to do with the Eurovision Song Contest... I just know it does... I can only hope that they don't come here... to the forest..."
And so Terry Wogan stepped into the forest, but the animals weren't there. In reality they were all hiding, as Farin had instructed them too.
"God damn it!" Terry yelled, "Ah, it is fine, I have more than enough animals here with me."
Farin jumped out from the trees.
"Terry Wogan!" Farin yelled, "Release those animals and leave this place!"
"No, silly German forest boy, I will not, now come on my animal friends, to the Eurovision!"
And Terry Wogan left, the animals from the Berlin Zoo all following him.
As soon as he was out of sight, all the animals of the forest came out of their hiding places and went to stand by Farin.
"What exactly do you think they are up too?" Bela asked.
"I have no idea," Farin replied, "But it can't be good..."
Lena and Stefan were standing by the window, watching people come into the stadium. They had arrived early to the first semi final, despite Stefan's worrying that they would be late. The Dusseldorf Monorail was always on time.
Anna Rossinelli, the Swiss entrant for 2011, came over to them.
"Oh, hey Germany," Anna said, "And you too, Germany."
"Wait... what?" Stefan asked, "Germany? We have names you know!"
"Calm down Germany," Anna laughed.
"When you're at home in Switzerland, do you say to everyone 'hello Switzerland' 'goodbye Switzerland'?" Lena asked.
"No, they have names, silly," Anna laughed, "Silly Germany."
"You're so silly Switzerland," Lena smiled, and with that Lena sat by the window, looking out at the rain pouring down.
"It sure is a depressing day for a Eurovision semi-final," Jaap de Witte said, and Lena spun around to find the 3Js standing behind her.
"L...Lena..." Jan said, "Please, please we need to speak with you for a moment."
"Why?" Lena asked, "What's wrong."
"I need to make sure we're not all going mad here," Jan looked to the floor, "But please tell me, if I said 'I've been to Narnia', please, tell me you'd understand what I meant..."
"You... you've been to Narnia too?!?!" Lena shouted, so loud that the other contestants who were waiting in the room were now looking at Lena.
"Narnia?" Anna Rossinelli rolled her eyes, "You people are so fucking weird."
"The Narnia movie you guys," Lena smiled, "That's what I meant."
"Yeah, right, whatever," Anna laughed, "You guys are nuts!"
"I thought you wanted like, a Eurovision adventure or something," Nadine Beiler said, "You know, like all that stuff that happened in 2010."
"Blah blah, Austria," Anna said, "I wanted an adventure, not some Dutch weirdos whining about Narnia."
"Yeah, what's with the shouting about Narnia over there," Poli said.
"It's nothing, it's nothing, calm down," Lena said, and she walked off away from the 3Js.
Just then, Lena saw Sieneke sitting by the green room, smiling.
"Holy crap Sieneke!" Lena yelled, "Quick, come here!"
"What?" Sieneke asked, coming over, "What is it?"
"It's... it's the 3Js, they know Aslan!"
"Calm down Lena, I already knew that they knew Aslan. They've been to Narnia, you know."
"I know, they've just told me," Lena said, "I just... wow... I had no idea."
"I know, right?" Sieneke whispered, "I wonder how many more of us know about Narnia, but just haven't said it. I mean, who would say anything, even if they had met Aslan like we have, right?"
"It's possible," Lena said quietly, "That more of us know Aslan... and Reepicheep... and Narnia."
The 3Js then came over too.
"Oh hey 3Js," Lena said, "I was just talking to Sieneke about how we've all been to Narnia and know Aslan and stuff."
"Well, actually, as I keep reminding everyone," Jaap Kwakman said, "It was Aslan's Country we went to, not Narnia!"
"Well, some of us have been to the real Narnia," Lena smiled.
Lena looked across the room and saw Poli was looking at them.
"Ah crap," Lena said, "The Bulgarian girl is looking at us, can she hear us? I sure hope not, she'd think we're right nutters, talking about Narnia like this."
"Unless she has been to Narnia too," Sieneke said.
"Eh, I doubt it," Jan said, "Aslan is probably too busy following us and Witloof Bay to be watching the Bulgarian entrant too."
"You may say that," Lena said, "But who knows what Aslan likes? And... wait what, Witloof Bay? Aslan likes the Belgian entry?!"
"Yeah, he loves it," said Jaap de Witte, "And I like it too."
"But, but come on, that's impossible!" Lena yelled, "No one likes the Belgian entry!"
And Jan looked across and saw Witloof Bay were now standing by Poli, looking on at the conversation.
"Nice Lena, real nice," Jan said, "What a great thing to shout while Witloof Bay are right there, hmmm?"
"Yeah Lena!" Sieneke said, "I hope you're proud of yourself!"
"Be nice Lena. And people are going to start looking with the way we're talking about Aslan," Jaap Kwakman said, "Let's talk about something else..."
"Quick," Lena said, "Make the conversation into something normal, uh... I won some award thing a while ago, Take That were there. I was worried that they could be British spies, but it was ok. Uhm... what have you guys won, if you've won anything?"
"Well, actually, yeah we've won stuff," Jan said, "Uh... mostly for Watermensen. We got um... a Rembrant, and uh... a Silver Harp."
"Those are Dutch award things!" Sieneke said.
"Yeah, thanks for that Sieneke," Jan smiled.
"Cool," Lena said, "You guys won anything else?"
"Nah," Jaap Kwakman said, "What have you won, Lena?"
"Eh, nothing special, apart from the Eurovision of course," Lena smiled, "And some platinum albums. Oh, and I got some number ones here in Germany!"
"And probably a number one in Aslan's heart," Sieneke smiled.
"We're not supposed to be talking about Narnia!" Lena said.
"Besides, I'm sure Aslan reserved that particular spot for his favourites, Witloof Bay," Jan said.
"You really seem to resent the fact that Aslan likes the Belgians, huh?" Sieneke asked.
"It's just... it's Belgium's fault, really, that the Netherlands is so hated these days," Jan sighed, looking to the floor.
"It's not Witloof Bay's fault though, is it?" Sieneke asked, "It's not their fault at all."
"I suppose you're right," Jan said.
"I just can't believe that Aslan, the great lion of Narnia, likes that absolute dreck," Lena laughed.
"As you said before Lena," Sieneke whispered, "We really shouldn't be talking about Narnia."
"Yeah, you're right," Lena whispered back, "I mean, Aslan wouldn't like it if we were talking about him publicly like this, well, or maybe he would, I wouldn't know."
"He might or might not," Jan said, "But he sure wouldn't appreciate us bashing Witloof Bay like this, since he likes them so much."
"I like Aslan," Sieneke whispered, "And I don't care if Poli and Witloof Bay think we're mad for talking about Narnia like this."
"If you don't care what people think about our adventures in Narnia," Jan said quietly, "Then why are you whispering?"
"It's because we care of course, silly Dutchie," Lena whispered, "No one wants to be thought of as some sort of Narnia nutcase now, do they?"
"Lena! What are you doing over there!" Stefan yelled, "All those secret hushed whispers coming from over there, come back here!"
"Does... does he know about Narnia?" Sieneke whispered.
"No, no he does not," Lena said, "He hates things being out of the ordinary. I think he's still in denial that we met aliens at the Bundesvision... he doesn't deal to well with things being... strange..."
"Ha, funny for someone like that to get involved in the Eurovision then," Sieneke smiled, "Anyway, you better get back over to him before he starts questioning about Narnia, ha ha!"
"Yeah, I would hate for him to go all crazy just because we've met Aslan."
And with that Lena then walked back over to Stefan.
A man came over wearing a hat with a Swedish flag on it and clothes which had the Swedish flag embroided into them.
"Well, someone's Swedish today," Stefan said.
"Are you Eric Saade?" Lena asked.
"No, silly Lena, I can only dream of that. I am Jon Ola Sand," the man smiled, "I am here to replace Svante as the organiser of the Eurovision Song Contest! And I have a few new ideas too..."
"That's nice," Lena smiled, and Jon suddenly walked off.
"That was a long conversation," Stefan said sarcastically, and Alexander Rybak walked over to them, holding his violin in hand.
"Alex!!!" Lena yelled, "You're here!"
"Yes," Alexander said, "Dima is also here. We're just here to visit though, we're not staying with you guys like I did last time."
"I see," Lena said.
"That guy is Norwegian like me, by the way, he can only dream of being Swedish."
Stella came over to them.
"Well he should thank his lucky stars that he is Norwegian and not an inferior Swede!" Stella yelled, "How horrible, Sweden I mean, awful country."
"Yes Stella, ok, we've heard enough of that now thank you," Alexander said, and Stella ran off to harrass the other entrants.
Dima Bilan came over to them.
"Hey," he said.
"I feel like I'm in a whirlwind of Eurovision entrants here!" Stefan said, "I don't know who anyone is!"
"This is Dima Bilan, silly," Lena laughed.
"Nice to meet you too, Lena," Dima smiled, "And you, Stefan. I'll be reading out the Russian votes this year, but I'm also here to see the Eurovision!"
"I love Eurovision!" Lena smiled.
"Sweet," Alexander said, "Hey, Lena, do you know... where are Witloof Bay?"
"Witloof... uh..." Lena said, pointing over to where the Belgians were standing, "Yeah, they're over there!"
"Thanks Lena, and good luck for Eurovision!" Alexander said, and he and Dima walked off.
"Thank you!" Lena smiled, waving them off.
"Hahaha, oh for god sake!" Dima laughed, "You like that Belgian trash, AHAHAHA!"
"Calm down already, geez, I can like whatever the hell I want," Alexander said, before walking off with his violin in hand.
"Yeah Dima," Lena said, "Don't be mean!"
"I wasn't trying to be mean, just stating the obvious."
Alexey Vorobyov, the Russian entrant, walked over to them.
"Hey Lena," Alexey said, "Wanna hear a Russian joke?"
"Uh..." Lena said, "Well, it sure beats this conversation which is just Dima slagging off my fellow Eurovision entrants."
"Cool! So, how many teapots does it take to fill up a microwave?"
"Uh... how many?" Lena asked.
"Banana toothbrush!!!" Alexey said and both he and Dima fell over laughing.
"Oh Alexey you are hilarious!" Dima laughed, "Ok, ok, I've got one..."
"Go on," Alexey said.
"Ok, so, a tv remote and a sheep walk into a bar, and the barman says..."
"What does the barman say?" Alexey asked.
"He says... rainbow starfish!!!" Dima laughed and Alexey burst out laughing too.
"Dima you are such a card!" Alexey giggled.
"Go on Alexey, it's your turn to tell us a Russian joke now," Dima smiled.
"Uh, ok. So a fish and a blade of seaweed are making toast, when suddenly, it starts raining cherries! The seaweed says, 'The explanation is stardust season', and the fish replies, 'Better get my bonnet then!'"
Lena just looked on, surprised. Needless to say, she didn't understand these Russian jokes.
"Ahahahaha!" Dima laughed, "Ok, I've got one, a Russian, a Belorussian and a Ukrainian go to a party. Then they all turn into rabbits and hop away."
"Hahahahahahaha!" Alexey laughed, "Dima!!! You're so funny!"
Lena managed to slip away without being noticed while they were telling their awful Russian jokes.
"Phew," Lena thought, "That was terrible! And they say we Germans don't have a sense of humour! What the hell was that?!"
Vlatko was in the corner, laughing.
"Vlatko what is funny?" Lena asked, "Don't tell me you're laughing at those awful Russian jokes."
"Aw, Lena," Vlatko smiled, "Someone with a Western mindset such as yourself would not understand such witty Eastern jokes. But it is ok."
"Oi!" Alexey shouted over, "Macedonian! Stop listening to our conversation an' piss off!"
"Ouch," Vlatko said sadly, "Rejected by Russia."
"No Vlatko," Alexey said, "It is your own fault. Macedonia chose America over Russia...they did not want to have anything to do with us. It is only now that America is gone that Macedonia is crawling back..."
"No!" Vlatko yelled, "It is your fault Russia! You never came to help us when Bulgaria attacked us...."
"Yeah, no one did,"Alexey said, "No one was bothered about that!"
"America at least tried to get Bulgaria to stop, but you and I both know that our friendship with America was because they helped us during our war with Lithuania. Macedonia would have been destroyed if it was not for American intervention. Russia didn't help us. Russia had washed our hands of us... and of all other ex-Yugoslav countries...."
"People please!" Dima said.
"Dima is right," Lena smiled, "Eurovision is no place for fighting, Eurovision is a place for all countries to get along, Eurovision crosses all country boundaries!"
"Except for Russia's," said Glen Vella as he walked over, "The cold boundary that never will be crossed."
"Shut up you Maltese trash!" yelled Alexey, "Don't you ever insult Mother Russia ever again!"
"Guys..." Lena sighed, "Can't we all just get along?"
"No!" Alexey yelled, and it seemed that this years Eurovision would not be the peaceful competition of days gone by, but more reminiscent of the 2010 contest. But people enjoyed that now, they enjoyed all the drama behind the scenes at Eurovision, and enjoyed hearing about all the national and cross-border in-fighting that went on in the background.
"Look over there," Stefan said, pointing at the Swedish and Norwegian entrants, "Looks like they're arguing."
"Let's go check it out," Lena said, and with that Lena and Stefan went over to where Eric Saade and Stella Mwangi were standing.
"Stella, stop," Eric said, "Eurovision isn't a place for saying things like-"
"I can say what I please! Norwegians are better than you lowly Swedes!" Stella yelled, "We are far superior! Norwegians will rise above and conquer Europe, while you lowly Swedes will graze on the fields like cattle!"
"Stella come on," Eric said, "Seriously?"
"Hey, stop it Stella," Lena said, "This isn't the time for-"
"Evil Swedes will be disposed off and poured into the sea! I hate Swedes!!!" Stella shouted, so loud that all the other Eurovision entrants were now looking in her direction, "Fuck Sweden! Sweden go to hell! Denmark go to hell! Finland go to hell! And fuck Estonia too, they're not even Scandinavian! In fact, only Norway is Scandinavian! The other countries are impure!!!! Norway is better than Sweden!"
"Erm... ok, I don't give a crap about either Sweden or Norway," Stefan said, "So how about we cut the crap. Eurovision is supposed to be about uniting countries, not seperating them."
"Yeah, united like fuckin' Belgium," Stella said, "We all know how that went. And fuck Belgium too, they acted like fuckin' animals in that civil war of theirs. In Norway we don't act like that because we're not a bunch of filthy Belgians! Hahaha, the Walloons deserved it though, serves them right for not being pure Norwegians like us!"
At this, Witloof Bay walked over to where Eric, Stella, Lena and Stefan were standing.
"What the fuck are you talking about Belgium like that for?!" RoxorLoops yelled, "That's not funny at all!"
"Fuck off Belgians!" Stella yelled, "Shit, everything about Belgium is bad. And shit, your song, wow, is that a joke entry?"
"No!" Florence yelled.
"Ha, I thought it was. The usual slop from Belgium then. You see, this is why no one takes Belgium seriously as a country. Well, apart from the fact that they suck and do nothing of importance. Hell, at least the civil war got rid of a few of the useless fuckers."
"Stella," Stefan said, "If you're not going to act maturely I'm afraid that we will have to ask you to leave the Eurovision."
"Oh yeah, you love silencing us Norwegians, don't you, dumb Kraut?!" Stella yelled, "Damn Germans, always ruining shit like they did in the wars!"
"What?!" Stefan said, "Oh come on now, you can't be serious."
Eric went over to Paradise Oskar, who was standing on the other side of the room, and the two of them walked off, wanting to get away from this argument.
"So, you're a Fennoswede, huh?" Eric asked.
"Well... uh... yeah," Oskar smiled, "And you're the Swedish guy, right?"
"Yes. I'm Eric, Eric Saade."
"Cool, I'm Paradise Oskar, but you can call me Axel."
And with that Eric and Paradise Oskar walked off, speaking in Swedish to each other.
"Yeah, you two walk away! We're much better than Sweden!!!" Stella yelled, "You horrid Swedes! Norway is far better than Sweden!!!"
"And yet again, I don't give a crap about either of them," Stefan said, "What a surprise."
"Norway is superior! Sweden is inferior!" Stella yelled.
"Hey, how about we talk about something else now? Has anyone heard Blue's song?" Stefan said, "I have, and wow, it was shite."
Blue were nearby, and heard him say this.
"Fuck you!" Lee Ryan yelled, "You can't insult our song, you Kraut twat!"
"Yeah I can," Stefan said, "I can insult your shitty song all I want, we have freedom of speech here, unlike your dictatorship hellhole. Go and worship Terry Wogan you Commie bastards. You've put your song into this contest, we can comment on it all we want. You can't just drop garbage in a public park and expect everyone to tolerate it."
"Leave Blue alone Stefan!" Lena yelled, "Blue are so cool."
"Oh, looks like I agree with you on something after all, Stefan," Stella said, "A horrible outdated boyband with a horrid song. I see Britain is still firmly stuck in the 90's, like they always have been. Britain sucks. They should nuke that place."
"Hey, that's not what I said-" Stefan began.
"They should nuke Britain!!! Nuke it to pieces! They are not pure like we Norwegians!"
"Jesus Christ Stella, piss off," Duncan James said, as Blue walked over to Lena.
"Blue!!!!" Lena smiled, running over to Blue and hugging them all, "Blue!!! I love you guys!"
"That's nice, we love you too," Simon smiled, "We've been sent to get all of you, most of the other entrants are in the main hall, so everyone in here should come too!"
"Ok," Lena said, and so they all went into the main hall of the stadium.
Jon Ola Sand stood in front of the Eurovision stadium. The Dusseldorf Espirit Arena. He examined it closely. After the two semi finals have taken place, Jon Ola Sand had plans for those who did not qualify...
"This is where it happens," he laughed to himself, "The Espirit Arena! A-haha! Those who fail at Eurovision do not deserve to live anymore! We will stop this folly at once! Sweden will be victorious, Sweden will reign supreme!!!"
And so Jon Ola Sand ran off into the night.
Meanwhile, Poli Genova was sitting with her cell phone in hand. She was expecting a phone call from the president of Bulgaria, Boyko Borisov, as of course the Bulgarian entry to the Eurovision was in fact a disguise for something greater. Bulgaria was spying, of course, but they also wanted to steal gold from Germany, and they knew there was a lot of gold somewhere in this hotel.
"Weird Eurovision entrants," Poli muttered to herself, "Always talking about Narnia and shit."
Suddenly, she heard her phone ring.
"Ah, hello!" Poli answered it, "Who is this?"
"This is Boyko Borisov, I expect you are enjoying your stay at the Eurovision Poli."
"Oh yes, of course, it's wonderful!"
"Excellent, excellent, but now, about the plans."
"Plans...? Ah, yes. The plans."
"Well, Rockefeller Street... we're abandoning that, there is not enough evidence to test that those are actually the numbers for the American nukes... or if America even has any nukes anymore after the... 'incident'... but... anyway... there is a safe somewhere in this stadium. A massive safe, it has the best security defenses, airtight, has an uncrackable combination..."
"And... what do you want me to do, Boyko?"
"Poli, I want you to find this safe, steal the gold, and bring it back to Bulgaria. In this recession we need the money if we are to continue to be a viable state."
"I'll do my best."
"Thank you Poli, remember, Bulgaria is counting on you."
And with that Poli switched her phone off and put it back into her pocket.
"Hey, Poli! Poli!" Christos Mylordos said as he came over to her, "The other entrants are in the main hall! Everyone's been looking for you!"
"Oh, have they? I'm sorry," Poli smiled, and she and Christos both made their way to the main hall.
Stefan and Lena were now in the main hall, standing with all the other entrants. Poli and Christos were now in the hall too.
"So, what do you two think of your Eurovision experience so far?" Poli asked.
"Yeah, it's been good," Stefan said, "Those Brits are fucking annoying though, oh, and that Norwegian, I mean, they've all been going around preaching their views to everyone, sprouting racist shit all over the place, and generally being impolite little fucks. And maybe I could have learned to look past all of that, but both their songs suck a bag of dicks."
"I agree," Poli said, "Well, about Stella anyway. Blue are nice."
"Yeah, Blue are great!" Lena said, "I love Blue! Leave Blue alone, Stefan! Everyone loves Blue! You're just jealous!"
Meanwhile, Nadine Beiler was talking to some of the other contestants.
"So," Nadine said, "I was wondering, does anyone else keep in contact with the other participants of the national finals? I mean, obviously no one here went through quite the same as what we did in the Austrian NF, but..."
"Oh... well... uh... yes, actually," Nicolas from the band Witloof Bay said, "We are still in contact with Sarina. She was with us during the Belgium Civil War."
"We also kept in contact with Tom Dice, you know, the guy from last year," RoxorLoops said, "He was also with us in the Civil War."
"Ach," Lee Ryan said, "That Belgian thing's been blown way out of proportion. You know many types of songbird may be in trouble? Their habitat is being destroyed for human habitation! Who cares about a few lousy Belgians, it's birds that are more important!"
"Birds rock!" Raphael said, "Especially doves! And magpies!"
"Meh, magpies," Lee said, "They're ok I suppose."
Simon Webbe came into the room. He had overheard Lee's rant about the Belgian Civil War.
"Lee Ryan you insensitive cock," Simon said, "The fuck you on about, comparing Belgium's Civil War to a few lousy birds nests?! Moron, you're ruining our image! Stop ruining our image all the time! Just keep quiet for a few minutes, alright?"
"Witloof whatever your name is," Antony said, "Go and stand in the corner by yourselves like you were before."
"Ha, yeah, no one wants to talk to you Belgians," Lee laughed, "Losers! And we are the winners!"
"Oh, yeah, no wonder no one is talking to them," Stella said, "Have you heard their song? Absolutely atrocious. Wow, it's just terrible. I thought it was a joke entry but they told me it wasn't! I thought it was. The usual slop from Belgium then. You see, this is why no one takes Belgium seriously as a country, apart from the fact that they suck and do nothing of importance. I wish that civil war had gotten rid of a few more of them, those useless, pointless creatures. Fucking Belgians."
"Stella, how about you come up with a new insult instead of the same boring one over and over?" said Florence.
"You guys!" Simon yelled, "Stop it!"
"You're making us look like jerks!" Duncan said.
The French entrant, Amaury Vassili, walked over to them.
"Why don't you all leave Witloof Bay alone and get lost?!" Amaury yelled.
"Hahaha, and what the fuck is your shit, yodeling or whatever it is?" Stella laughed.
"It's opera," Amaury said, "And by the way, we're number one in all of the betting stations, most people expect us to win."
"How can anyone think that your garbage is worthy of winning ESC? It wouldn't even make it through the semis if it had to compete in them. Not like my masterpiece, the grandest Norwegian song of pureness, mine will win, and you will get last place."
"Look, can you go away Stella, go bug Raphael, he's sitting there by himself," Amaury pointed to Raphael who was sitting by the window, looking out at the rain.
"Why would I want to go talk to him? He's the Italian guy, right?"
"Yeah, that's him," Amaury said.
"Well his one just sucks. I don't even need to say why it sucks, just listen to it. In fact, don't listen to it, just take my word for it, it's horrid. Why would I want to talk to someone who's made such a horrid song?" Stella said.
"You said my song was horrid too, so how about you stop talking to me and go away?"
"Shut up you frog," Stella snapped, "I won't be told to go away by some garlic-munching Frenchman!"
"Come on you guys, stop arguing!" Stefan said, as he walked over to the door, "It's time for ARD to give us a tour around the Eurovision stadium!"
Poli then saw something, a huge safe door that was slightly ajar.
She waited for the other Eurovision entrants to start walking away and then she went up to it, opened it, and went inside.
Vlatko turned and saw her go in, and followed her.
Inside the safe there were shiny stacks of gold everywhere, and printed money notes arranged into neat little piles everywhere.
"Sweet..." Poli said, looking at the bars of gold all on the floor, "I can't believe they just left this open like this..."
"Poli, what are you doing here?" Vlatko asked.
Poli spun around to find Vlatko Ilievski behind her.
"Vl...Vlatko?!" she yelled, "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question."
"Look, it's not how it looks, see, this safe, this money, as an official spy for Bulgaria this needs to be kept a secret. Vlatko, if you promise to keep this secret I will share it with you."
"What, really? Cool!"
Suddenly, the safe door started beeping.
"Unauthorised safe access~" the safe said in a robotic voice, before the door slammed shut.
"Oh, shit," Vlatko said.
"Uh... it's ok, it's ok," Poli said, "They were only going for a tour of the hotel, they can't be far."
They sat around in the dark safe for a while.
"Guys guys!!! Come back!" Poli yelled, but there was no reply.
"Aw crap," Vlatko said, "Seriously? Poli this is your fault!"
Meanwhile, all the Eurovision entrants were walking around, taking a tour of the stadium.
"Hey y'all," Aurela said, "Where's those little-uns Vlatko and Poli?"
"You're right," Lena said, looking around, "Vlatko? Poli?"
"Probably wandered off," Nadine laughed, "Here, I'll go look for them."
"You sure?" asked Getter Jaani.
"Yeah," Nadine replied, "I'll go and find them."
"We'll come with you," said Loukas, "This tour is so boring."
"It's almost as boring as Christos Mylordos," Stereo Mike laughed.
"Shut the hell up!" Christos yelled.
"Woooo, Austria and Greece!" Anna said.
"Ok, you two can come with me," Nadine said, "Come on, before anyone else decides to join and this becomes a real search party."
"I wanna come too!" Anna yelled, "It is adventure time!!!"
"Fine," Nadine said, "Anna, you can come. Now then, together, let's go and look for Vlatko and Poli!"
"Cool!" Anna smiled, "Austria and Switzerland together forever!!!"
"Greece," Lena said, "You're not going with them!"
"What?!" Loukas asked, "Why not?"
"Because, it is against the rules!" Emmy yelled, "We know that Greece hates Macedonia! What if you guys go and beat Vlatko up or something?"
"Don't be so ridiculous!" said Stereo Mike.
"Emmy, that's insane!" Loukas yelled.
"Rules are rules," Emmy said.
"Rules?!" Loukas said, "You don't know anything about the Eurovision rules! Nothing!"
"I see you can't come to an agreement, so we're off, with or without you, Greece!" Anna smiled.
"Yeah, come on Anna," Nadine yelled, and so the two of them broke away from the main group, and went off together to search for the Bulgarian and Macedonian entrants.
"You know what," Stereo Mike said to Loukas Yiorkas, "Screw your rules, Emmy, I think we should follow them."
"What?!" Emmy asked, "Disregarding the rules? Why?"
"Why not?" Loukas said.
"I think they're up to something, that's why," said Stereo Mike, "Not the Swiss and the Austrian, the other two, I mean."
"Vlatko and Poli?!" Loukas asked.
"Yeah, that's them, come on, Bulgaria and Macedonia are so close, always bloc-voting for each other, they must be up to something, surely."
"Oh come now," said RoxorLoops, "A Greek complaining about bloc-voting?!"
"Shut up Belgian!" Stereo Mike yelled, "So anyway Loukas, let's go go go!"
"Fine," Loukas said, "I'll let you drag me into yet another mess."
"By the holy name of Zeus, we'll uncover their bloc-voting cheats!!!" yelled Stereo Mike, as Loukas looked embarrased by Mike.
"Mike stop it with the Zeus crap," said Loukas.
"No you two can't go," Emmy said.
"Yes we can," said Stereo Mike, "Just watch us!"
And so the two Greeks ran off down the corridor, in the direction that Nadine and Anna had gone in.
"God damn it!" Emmy yelled, "Get back here! This is not allowed!"
But the Greeks ignored her and continued running down the long and winding corridor.
Meanwhile, Vlatko and Poli were still stuck inside the safe.
"Why is it so damn dark in here?" Vlatko said.
"Hold on a second," Poli said, as she got a little torch from her pocket and switched it on.
"This sucks Poli, this is all your fault."
"Yeah alright, you've already said that about a million times already. It's your fault, you shouldn't have followed me in here."
"Well I knew you were up to something, that's why. And I wanted to find out what."
"Hello?!" a voice came from outside the safe, "Hello? Are you guys in there?!"
It was Nadine Beiler. She was standing outside the safe with Anna Rossinelli.
"Nadine!" Vlatko yelled, "Yeah, we're in here!"
"I can't open the door," Anna said, while trying to open the door, but it was locked tight.
Nadine looked around, and saw that there was a green pad with numbers on, attached to the wall outside the safe.
"It's asking for some numbers to enter... or something," Nadine said, "Four numbers..."
"Four numbers..." Poli said, "My theory was wrong, no... Getter Jaani's song... the numbers... they weren't for American nukes after all, they were for this!"
"Poli, what are you talking about?"
"Getter's song!" Poli yelled, "Estonia's song!"
"Yes, yes that one! But what were the numbers...?"
"Numbers... what numbers?" Vlatko asked.
"The numbers in the song!!! The secret that the Netherlands put into Rockefeller Street!"
"Uh... I have no idea..." Vlatko said.
"Wait a minute... that means Estonia and the Netherlands must have been planning to steal this gold too," Poli said.
"Ok, if Poli is right, then we need to get the Estonian and Dutch entrants here right now," Vlatko said, "Nadine? Nadine are you there? Can you get Getter Jaani and the 3Js for us?"
"Why do I have to do everything around here?!" Nadine said, "You guys shouldn't have been playing about in the safe!"
"It was Poli's fault!" Vlatko said, "She was the one who was snooping about in here! Trying to steal the gold or some such, she was, and now she's having a go at Estonia and the Netherlands for wanting to do exactly the same thing!"
"What the hell are you people talking about?" Anna asked.
"I know, right?" Nadine said, "I'll go and get Getter and the Dutchies, you wait here by the safe, if anyone comes by, tell them what's happened."
"Ok," Anna said, and so Nadine walked off, leaning Anna by the safe.
Nadine went to the hall where all the Eurovision entrants were.
"I can't believe those idiots got themselves locked in the safe," Nadine thought to herself as she walked over to where Getter and the 3Js were standing.
"Oh, hey Nadine," said Getter.
"Hey," Nadine said, "Getter, 3Js, can you four come with me, please?"
"Uh, sure," Jan said, "What for?"
"You'll find out when we get there," said Nadine, "It's sort of about Getter's song 'Rockefeller Street', and sort of about the Netherlands. Come on, follow me!"
And so the four of them followed Nadine out of the hall and down the corridor.
Just then, the two Greeks ran over and saw Anna standing outside the safe.
"Vlatko and Poli are locked inside the safe," Anna said.
"I thought so! We're here to uncover your bloc voting cheats!" yelled Stereo Mike, as the two of them walked up to the safe.
"Oh great," Vlatko said, from inside the safe, "Just what we don't need."
"Don't let those Greeks steal our gold!!!" Poli yelled, "Keep them out of here!"
"What gold?" Loukas asked.
"There's a lot of gold inside the safe, apparently," Anna said, "Hey, Greece is going through a bad economy thing, right? Why don't you use the gold to fix it?"
"No way!" Poli said, "This is our gold!"
"Oh yeah, well you stink, Third Islander!" Stereo Mike said, "The gold in there... that is all our money now!"
"No it's not!!!" yelled Vlatko, "Greece sucks, you were the ones messing with the whirlpools, no wonder all countries hate you, this is our money forever!"
"Guys," Poli said, "Shut the hell up for five seconds, please. Let's wait for Nadine, you shouldn't all be so greedy, this is Bulgaria's money now."
"No it's not!" Vlatko said.
"Yeah it is," Poli said, "Finders keepers, losers weepers."
Nadine then came back with Getter Jaani and the 3Js.
"Well," Nadine smiled, "Here they are!"
"Hooray!" Anna said.
"Yay," Vlatko said from inside the safe.
"So," Poli said, "Tell them the secret combination."
"My secret combination it's a mystery to you," Getter started singing the Greek Eurovision song of 2008.
"No Getter!" Poli yelled, "This is not time for Eurovision! This is about those secret numbers that you have encoded into the song Rockefeller Street!"
"Hmmm... a secret, it is," Getter smiled, "If you had bothered to listen to the official Eurovision CD, you would know the safe combination, and-"
Nadine glared at her.
"As a matter of fact I do have that CD!" Poli yelled, "I just didn't listen to your garbage song that's on it, so stop being so flaming Dutch, Getter! And let me out of here!"
The 3Js looked at each other. The word 'Dutch' had been thrown about as an insult in pretty much every country after the Belgian Civil War. Even the 'Echoes' in the PVR system looked down at the Dutch, and they only heard about what they had done secondhand from people who went into the PVR. In fact, anything associated with the Netherlands had become a grave insult, and one of the most comment insults there was.
"Just tell her the numbers, Getter," Jan said.
"It's 1273," Getter said, "1273!"
And so Nadine put the numbers into the safe combination.
"That gold is ours!" yelled Stereo Mike and Loukas and Stereo Mike both stepped inside the safe.
They were amazed by all the shiny gold bars on the floor, and the money notes stacked in every corner of the safe.
"Raphael would love all this shiny shit," Loukas said, "He likes shiny stuff."
"Wow Switzerland, check this out!" Loukas laughed, looking at Anna who was standing outside the safe, "It's really raining gold this time!"
"You know, I think this could solve the recession in Greece," said Stereo Mike.
"What?!" Poli yelled, "Bugger off! This gold is to solve our recession in Bulgaria!"
"But Poli you said we could have some as well!" Vlatko said.
"Alright fine, Macedonia has some too, I must keep to my word, I guess," Poli said, "But you Greeks can get lost!"
"I don't have to listen to some Third Islander!" yelled
"Guys, stop arguing in there!!!" Nadine yelled, but it was too late and the safe door slammed shut yet again.
"Unauthorised safe access~" the safe said in a robotic monotone, "Safe doors closed~"
"God damn it!" Vlatko yelled.
"It's alright guys," Nadine said, "I'll just let you all out again."
And so Nadine went up to the safe and entered the combination '1273'. But it didn't open like it did last time.
"What on Earth is going on?!" Nadine said, "It's not working!"
"What do you mean it's not working?!" Vlatko yelled.
"Hahaha, don't worry," Getter said, "It's a failsafe."
"Failsafe?" asked Anna.
"Yeah you see, when the safe has already been opened and closed once, the password changes into an even more secure one..." Getter said.
Getter then went up to the safe numbers and pressed a bunch of numbers, the door then opened.
"What's the more secure one?" Nadine asked.
"12731273," Getter smiled.
Stefan Raab walked up to the Eurovision entrants.
"I can't believe this," he said, "I've been looking for you guys everywhere, how can you think you could all just walk off like that?!"
He then saw that the safe door was open.
"The safe! This is a disgrace," said Stefan, "Bulgaria, Macedonia, Estonia, Switzerland, Austria, Greece and the Netherlands. You are hereby all disqualified from the Eurovision song contest."
They all looked on in shock.
"Ha!" Stefan laughed, "Just kidding! It was a joke, of course!"
"Ack," Vlatko said, "The German sense of humour."
"Much better than all the rubbish Russian jokes I hear have been going around," Stefan said, "You know what we say here in Germany, west is best!"
"Wha-" Poli began.
"Hahahahahahaha, we're not too bothered about the safe anyway, it was all fools' gold. Katzengeld, as we call it here in Germany..." Stefan said, "It's all fake!"
"What?!" Poli yelled, "Fools' gold?! We wasted all that time planning this for nothing?!"
"God damn it!" Getter yelled.
"Yes, I heard Bulgaria and Estonia were both planning to steal from the gold safe somehow," Stefan said, "So all the real gold was switched for fake plastic gold and monopoly money at the last minute!"
"God damn it!!!!" Getter yelled again.
"Hey that's what I say," Stefan said, "And besides, you two shouldn't have been trying to steal our glorious German gold, now, should you?! Now, off to the hall, all of you!"
"But-" Vlatko said.
"No buts!" Stefan smiled, "I said now!"
"Fine," Vlatko sighed and they all walked off.
And so they all went into the hall were the other entrants were all waiting.
Lena looked over at them. Just then, Lena's phone rang.
"Hello?" Lena answered.
"Hello Lena! This is Peter Nalitch, just checking to see how you're doing in the Eurovision! Anything like last year?"
"No, they're all a bit weird to be honest..." Lena said sadly, "They keep fighting, and there was some drama earlier about someone trying to steal from the safe or something..."
"Hmmm, so nothing like last year then. You know they were showing repeats of the 2010 Eurovision last night? It felt, strange... somehow..."
"I get that feeling too, and I miss all of that, I miss 2010... and I miss when the only threat to Eurovision was Josh Dubovie. I even miss Marcin's whining about the Polish president..."
"Ha, those 2011 entrants must be really bad then..."
"Not bad, just... not as good compared to you guys," Lena sighed, "It's just nostalgia, I guess."
"Ha, nostalgia for last year? Hahahaha, oh well. What's happened down there anyway?"
"Everyone's arguing... it's either some rubbish about the Belgian Civil War, or they're complaining about Dutch people, or there's some drama about some countries who hate each other... it... it just annoys me, because I want everyone to get along."
"I know what you mean."
"Oh, and Alexey's Russian jokes!"
"Yeah, he's always saying stupid jokes, he said uh... 'a Russian, a Belorussian and a Ukrainian go to a party. Then they all turn into rabbits and hop away.' And all of his jokes were like that, just, nonsense about blueberries and rabbits and... it's weird. So I thought I'd ask you, do you know of anything to do with these jokes?"
"Those jokes have nothing to do with Russia, I swear," Peter said, "Alexey is just a weirdo, we don't talk like that over in Russia."
"Ah, I see," Lena smiled, "That's good to know."
"To be honest, jokes like that are more popular in places like Ukraine, Belarus, Poland and such," Peter said, "But not over here in Russia."
"Good to know, ok, I think we'll be going on the stage to practise in a bit, either that or more drama will kick off."
"Haha, either way, good luck! Goodbye, Lena!"
Lena then hung up the phone and put it back into her pocket.
Vlatko was sitting on a chair looking down at a Macedonian flag.
"I don't know why I bother with Russia sometimes... ok, from now on, I hate Russia!" Vlatko said, "They're always putting us down. They don't like us because we like America, and Russia hates America."
"Yeah, Russia sucks!" Glen yelled, "Russia sucks so much. You know it was Russia who persuaded us to round up all the Moldovans back in Malta and put them into Moldova Town."
"Moldova... what now?" Lena asked.
"It's nothing for you to worry about Lena," Glen smiled, "Enough people know about it already who shouldn't... it is the great secret of Malta... but you must know that it is very bad and it is Russia who has caused this tragedy on Malta!"
"Uh... ok?" Lena said.
Just then, Alexey ran over to them.
"Got something to say, Malteser?!" Alexey boomed.
"As a matter of fact I have," Glen said, "You're a horrid, awful, nasty nation, who no one likes, and is responsible for nearly all the world's problems, and-"
"Ok ok ok you two," Lena said, "Let's stop this right now."
"Lena..." Glen said, "I understand that you want to keep the peace but someone has to stand up to these monstorous Russians."
"I like Russia," Lena said, "I like all countries, I like planet Earth. Let's all get along!"
"There are some people who do not wish to get along, Lena," Glen said, "For example, the Russians."
"How dare you!" Alexey yelled.
"Stop it you two!" Lena said again.
"Fine," Glen said, "But listen to what I've said, remember it, Lena."
And with that, Glen walked off.
"Incomprehensible Maltesers," Alexey said, and with that, he walked off too.
"Wow!" Vlatko said, "That was great, Lena!"
"Hahaha, thanks Vlatko," Lena smiled.
It was later on in the day now, the sun was setting in the sky in Dusseldorf, and it was almost time for the first semi final.
Glen Vella was sitting on a chair by the window in his hotel room, looking out at the city.
Alexey went into his own room and got out a load of rope that he had stashed under the bed.
He then came back into Glen's room and pulled out more rope that he had stashed under the other bed.
"Oh hey Alex," Glen smiled, as he absent-mindedly watched the Russian getting rope out from under the bed.
Alexey then came into the room with the rope, grabbed Glen, sat him down in a chair and started tying him to it.
"Alexey, stop it!" Glen yelled, as the Russian held him to the chair and tied him up.
"Hahahaha, Maltese!" Alexey laughed, "You are tied to the chair now!"
"Alex... Alex?" Glen said, his voice shaky, "What... what are you doing? Please stop this, please, I don't know what the hell you're thinking!"
"It's not nice Glen," Alexey smirked, "To insult the glorious state of Russia. And for that, I will leave you here during the first semi-final, ahahaha! We do not tolerate your behaviour in Mother Russia!"
"My... behaviour? Alex what are you talking about?! What the hell?! Why are you doing this?"
"You will not be in the first semi-final, Malta. Everyone will wonder where you are, when it is Malta's turn and yet no entrant shows up. Ahahahaha!"
"This is ridiculous, come on Alexey," Glen said, "Is this to reduce competition or something? Haven't you seen the polls? We're a definite non-qualifier. Go after Eric instead!"
"Hmmm..." Alexey said, "Eric Saade is probably a Russian-hating fruit loop as well... all Swedes are. And he is competition for me... I should stop him from being in the second semi final..."
"What... what are you talking about?!" Glen said, "Stop it! Let me go!"
"No," Alexey said, "I will not-"
"Hey guys, what's going on in here?!" said a voice. It was Anna Rossinelli, who had opened the door and was now peering inside the room.
"Anna!!!" Glen yelled.
"Piss off Swiss!" Alexey yelled.
Nadine Beiler was walking through the corridor and saw Anna looking in to Alexey's room.
"What is it Anna?" Nadine asked.
"Oh, Nadine! Alexey has Glen tied to a chair. Maybe it's like a roleplay or something," Anna said, "I dunno, it's weird. Come and have a look!"
Nadine stormed into Alexey's room.
"Nadine!" Glen yelled, "Help!"
"What the heck is this?! Leave Glen alone!" Nadine yelled, and she went to the chair he was tied to and started untying him, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
"Yeah, what is he doing?" Anna asked.
"Look! He's tied Glen to a chair! It's probably some evil Russian plot!" Nadine yelled, "Russia has been so full of itself ever since it became the world's major superpower!"
"Wow. Russia, your country should be disqualified from Eurovision this year!" Anna said.
"Yeah," Nadine said, "You guys need to be taught a lesson for this!"
"They should be disqualified, yes," a voice came from the doorway. It was Vlatko Ilievski.
"No! You must stick up for me, fellow Slav!" Alexey yelled, "Russia must be in the Eurovision this year! We're the world's strongest country! What, do you want us to turn off the oil in Macedonia? All your countries receive most of their oil from us! You should be careful before you insult Mother Russia!"
"You know what mate," said Anastasiya Vinnikova, who was walking past, "You Russians need to be fucking disqualified from this competition. For what you've just done to the Maltese entrant and for the bullshit you pulled to us in Belarus."
"Fuck off Belarussian shit," Alexey yelled, "I hate Belarus!"
"Get out of here now before I call the police and they charge you with assault," Anastasiya said, "It was bad enough with that rubbish you tried to pull back in Belarus, but now you've even brought it to the Eurovision Song Contest."
"Fucking traitors," Alexey said, running out of the room, "This won't be the last you see of me!"
"That mad Russian," said Anastasiya as she walked over to the chair and untied the ropes.
"Thanks," Glen said, standing up from the chair.
"I swear," Nadine said, "Russians sometimes! Just because they're the worlds biggest superpower they think they can walk all over everyone else! Well they can't!"
"I'm going to go file a complaint and get that mad Russian disqualified!" Glen yelled.
"Good," Vlatko said, "Less competition for us! Not to mention, Russia always cheats at the Eurovision, they always bloc-vote and they bribe the juries too!"
"Yeah!" Glen said, "But they won't this year because they're going to be disqualified!!!"
It a little later on now, and Lena was sitting in the stadium of the Eurovision, watching the colourful lava lamps.
Poli Genova walked over to her.
"So did you hear what happened?" asked Lena.
"What?" Poli asked, "Oh, you mean with Glen and Alexey, right?"
"Well, I don't know what's happened for sure, but the EBU have said that it's very serious... and that they're taking it very seriously... but... they also said that it's possible that no action could be taken against Russia... due to Russia being the world's biggest superpower..."
"What?" Lena said, "But if something bad has happened... then the EBU must do something about it!"
"The EBU doesn't have any power against the might of Soviet Russia," Poli sighed.
Just then, Vlatko Ilievski walked over to them.
"Hey guys," Vlatko said, "You won't believe this, but me, Nadine and Anna have been over to the EBU office to make a complaint about what happened with that looney Russian today, and they said that they couldn't do anything about it!"
"What?!" Lena asked, "Really?"
"Yeah, they just told us that because Russia is so powerful, they are powerless to act! How lame is that?!"
"Very," Poli said.
"Well, Glen is going to the EBU office now to make a complaint too," Vlatko said, "But I don't think they'll do a damn thing about it."
"That sucks," Poli said.
Glen Vella walked into the room.
"Yes, I'd like to file a complaint about the Russian entrant Alexey, please?" Glen said, walking up to the desk where Stefan Raab was sitting.
"Ah, I see," Stefan said, "You see, I have already heard about this situation from Vlatko, from Nadine and Anna, from Anastasiya too... and I have had to tell them all the same thing... you cannot file a complaint..."
"What do you mean, I can't file a complaint against Alexey?" Glen said.
"I'm afraid so," Stefan said, "At least, this is what the EBU have told me... it is regrettable considering what has happened... but they value the Eurovision Song Contest above all else... and they also value the world's new number one super power.... Russia."
"The only thing you could do Glen, would be to withdraw from the Eurovision Song Contest entirely."
"But I don't want to withdraw!!!"
"Then, the only thing I can say to you is to perform in the Eurovision in the semi-final and give it 100%... you won't be seeing more from Alexey after the Eurovision if you don't want to, and it is very clear that you don't..."
"But what about..."
"You see Glen, the problem here is that Russia controls pretty much the entire world... it's what they've always wanted. We cannot be seen to be speaking out against the Russian regime..."
"Fine... I guess..."
It was now the day of the first semi final. All the Eurovision entrants, even those in the second semi and those from the Big Five countries were waiting in the massive green room.
"It's strange don't you think, how they've put all of us here..." Lena said, "It's almost as if they're planning something..."
"What could they be planning?" Poli asked, "Some sort of surprise?"
"A surprise?!" yelled Anna Rossinelli, "A suprise! Ooooh, I just love surprises!"
"This is an odd time for a surprise..." Glen said, while glaring at Alexey.
"Dude, cut that shit out," Alexey said.
"I'm pissed off with you, Russian," Glen said, "And they wouldn't disqualify you because everyone is scared of the big bad superpower Russia. I can't believe this. If San Marino had done this she would have been disqualified straight away!"
"Oh yeah, San Marino wouldn't do that though," Anna smiled.
"If I did what, sorry?" Senit asked.
"Nothing," Alexey said, "Nothing important."
"Nothing important?!" Glen yelled, "You should have been disquali-"
"Listen, Malta," Alexey growled, "I'm friends with Putin, so shut your trap. If you don't cut the crap I'm going to get Putin to bomb the shit out of Malta. Ha, we will crush you like the pathetic ants you are."
The green room fell silent.
"You know," Duncan James said, "You should not be throwing around threats like that."
"Can it, Brit," Alexey snarled, "Shut your Brit hole, stupid Brit."
"I hate Brits," Stella said.
"Yeah," Alexey said, "So you better watch it, Brits!"
"Everyone was nice at the Eurovision last year," Lena thought sadly, "What happened?"
It was now time for the first semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest, which had become the most eagerly anticipated event in the world.
The three hosts of the Eurovision 2011, Judith Rakers, Anke Engelke and Stefan Raab all walked out into the hosting arena.
"Hello!" Stefan said, "And welcome to the Eurovision Song Contest 2011!"
The audience cheered and clapped, and waved flags of the countries that they were supporting.
"Welcome to the first semi final!" Anke said, "Tonight is the night we will find out the first 10 acts who will be joining us at the Eurovision grand final!"
"Now, before we begin, I would just like to thank Oslo for an excellent Eurovision last year," Stefan smiled, "Despite a few ups and downs, Eurovision went well, even despite the problems from the outside world against the contest, which Norway dealt with extremely well! Thank you Norway!"
The audience cheered, some waving their Norwegian flags high in the air.
"Now, since the voting change worked so well in Oslo last year, the voting will be the same this year. Tonight you will be able to vote for your favourite song from the very first song!" Judith said.
"That's right Judith," Anke said, "From the very first second Poland starts performing, you will be able to vote. Here are the numbers you need to vote for your favourite countries tonight!"
On the screen behind them, a list of all the numbers needed to vote for the songs in the first semi final appeared.
"Yes, that's right!" Stefan smiled, "Piece of cake! You see everyone, the voting for Eurovision is easy! In fact, the voting is so easy, even a woman can explain it!"
The crowd booed loudly.
Anke had slapped Stefan Raab, and the audience suddenly went into a stunned silence.
"Ow... A...Anke," Stefan said, "How could you slap me like that? It was in the script for me to say that!"
"Yeah, in the script that you wrote," Anke said, "And I hope that hurt, you misogynistic creep!"
"Let's... let's move on, shall we?!" Judith said, "First up is Magdalena Tul, with her song, 'Jestem'! Good luck to all the countries performing tonight!"
And with that, the three hosts left the stage, and the lights dimmed, leaving the entire stadium with an eerie purple glow.
Magdalena went onto the stage and performed 'Jestem'.
The crowd loved it and people were waving Polish flags.
When it was over the crowd clapped and cheered. They couldn't wait for the next act to come on.
"Hey guys," Magdalena said, walking into the green room, "It's time for the next act to go on!"
"Aw sweet!" Aurela said, "Finally!"
---Beep beep beep---
"Hey, what's that sound?" asked Maja Keuc.
"What... what the hell is that?" Jan asked, pointing to a beeping device that was sitting in the corner of the room.
Dino Merlin saw them all looking at the object and came over to them.
Dino recognized the object... it reminded him of... the Yugoslav Wars... but he couldn't quite tell why...
"It looks like... hmmm...." Dino began, but Rafael had come over to the shiny beeping object and picked it up. Magpies love shiny objects.
"It's so shiny!" Rafael smiled.
"Put that shit down!" Dino yelled, "It's a bomb!"
"Oh shit!" Rafael yelled, putting the bomb down.
All members of Homens da Luta dropped the signs they were holding in shock.
"It's a bomb! It's a bomb!" Dino yelled as everyone ran out the fire door from the green room, and they were now all standing outside the stadium.
"Hey guys, it's nearly results time... hey, where is everyone?!" said Stefan Raab as came into the green room and was surprised to see no-one there.
Stefan saw the green room door left open, and so he walked outside to find all the 2011 Eurovision entrants standing outside.
"Now just what is going on here?!" Stefan said, "Why are you all outside here?!"
"There is a bomb inside!" Aurela yelled, "Quick, call the police!"
"Oh no!" Stefan said, getting out his mobile and dialling 911, "I can't believe this, the Eurovision is ruined! Hello, hello?
"Go away!" the police officer growled, "We're busy watching Eurovision!"
"No no, we ARE the Eurovision!" Stefan said, "I'm at the Espirit Arena now... well... I'm outside it, anyway, we have reason to believe that there is a bomb in the green room!"
"The Eurovision!!!" the police officer yelled, "We must protect it at all costs! Fine, we'll be there right away!"
And so the police arrived, quietly walking into the green room. They disabled the bomb with ease, and walked out of the building with it, putting the disabled bomb in the police car, ready to drive off with it.
A police officer walked up to Stefan Raab.
"Now listen here Raab," the officer said, "In fact, all of you listen, Eurovision entrants too... if you ask us, the police force, about what happened here today, we will deny al knowledge of what has happened... we love the Eurovision too much to allow a single bomb to jeapordize it... you must not speak a word to anyone about this bomb... or what has gone on here..."
"What?!" Stefan yelled, "But this is a serious attack!"
"I know, we all know. But the Eurovision is far more serious than this attack, now Stefan, this will be the last you hear from us... do not speak to us about this bomb attack again. Tomorrow we will come and interview some of the Eurovision entrants about what happened tonight, but besides that, this will be dealt with behind the scenes... do you understand?"
"Uh... y...yes sir," Stefan said reluctantly.
"Good," said the officer, as he then got into his police car and drove off, leaving the Eurovision entrants and Stefan Raab standing there.
"Eurovision will be ruined now..." Lena said sadly, "I mean, who wants to be in a contest that is being attacked all the time?"
"We can't listen to that police officer. We've got to tell them," Vlatko said, "They deserve the truth, they are our fans, after all. But there has to be a better way to go about it..."
"You know, here in Volendam there was a bomb scare once," Jan said, "In a cafe. It was faked, someone just shouted 'there's a bomb', but because so many people tried to rush out at once that there was a stampede. It was a tragedy for all of Volendam. We were performing in the cafe that night, but luckily we all got out. Others weren't so lucky."
"Anyway," Jaap Kwakman said, "What Jan is trying to say is that there could be a similar incident here today if we tell the audience about this bomb which has now safely left the premises."
"So..." Lena said, "What you're saying is... that if we told them... there'd be a stampede, like there was in Volendam?"
"Yes," Jan said, "That's most likely."
"I'm not listening to some Dutchies!" Poli yelled.
"But they have a point," Stefan said, "A big point."
"So what... you want us to just go back in there and act like nothing happened?!" Nina asked.
"That's... that's precisely what 3Js are trying to say..." Stefan said, "Look, they're right, the bomb is gone now, no danger to anyone-"
"But what if there's more?!" Poli said.
"Well... there isn't more," Stefan said, "Dusseldorf Police have searched the place... searched all over the green room... there are no more bombs, we promise..."
"Come on," Lena smiled, "I'm sure it will be fine."
"Yeah, we're going back to the green room," Magdalena said, "Anyone coming with us?"
"Yes!" Glen smiled.
"Well... if y'all are absolutely sure..." Aurela said, "Then I guess I'll come with you too, besides, it would be a shame if we were not there for when we qualified..."
"You're not going to qualify, silly moo," Glen laughed.
"Yeah well neither are you!" Aurela laughed too.
"Uh... guys," Poli said, "There's just been, you know, a bomb found in the great room? And we're talking about... about what, Eurovision? Seriously?"
"We have our priorities sorted Poli," Glen smiled.
And so the entrants went back into the green room.
Stefan, Judith and Anke were now back, standing on the stage as the hosts of the Eurovision Song Contest 2011.
"Well, here we are again," Stefan said, "Sorry for the short delay, we had some... uh... technical difficulties..."
"Technical difficulties my ass," Duncan muttered under his breath.
"And uh... well... thank you for being so patient," Anke said, "Now, what we have all been waiting for, the continuation of the Eurovision! And next up it is... Aurela Gace!"
"Hooray!" Aurela said, "I'm up! Don't speak a word about what has happened guys, until we have figured out what we should do. Wish me luck!"
"Good luck!" Lena said, as Aurela walked onto the stage.
And so the Eurovision continued as normal. The rest of the entrants performed and the crowd loved it. They waves various flags and sung along to the songs.
"Wow, that was exiting!" Anke smiled.
"Yes," Judith said, "The Eurovision has been magical. You have been voting for your favourite acts all through the nights..."
"But now," Stefan continued, holding a black envelope, "It is time to see who you, the people of Europe, have decided will get through to the Eurovision grand final 2011! Here, in this envelope, we have the first ten qualifiers for the Eurovision 2011 final!!!"
The crowd cheered.
Stefan held the envelope to Judith.
"Judith, would you do the honours?"
"Oh Stefan, I can't look!" Judith said, "It's all so exiting! Anke, you do it!"
"Fine," Anke smiled, taking the envelope from Stefan.
The audience clapped louder, waiting for the results.
"And," Anke said, "The first country qualified to the Eurovision is... oh... it's magical... it's Serbia!"
"Yes!!!!" Nina yelled, jumping up out of her seat as her team waved Serbian flags, "Yes!!!! Thank you Europe! Danke Deutschland!"
"Next is," Anke said, "Russia!!! They're gonna get you!"
"Hooray!" Alexey yelled, "All hail mother Russia!"
"Russia stinks," Glen muttered.
"And next is... oh... well... of course it's our good friends in Switzerland!!!" Anke said.
"What?!" Anna said, "Wow! Thank you Germany!"
She was shocked, Switzerland didn't have a particularly good track record for the Eurovision, and she wasn't expecting to have qualified.
"You're welcome," Lena smiled.
"And uh... next up," Anke said, "One more day... it's Eldrine!!!"
"Yaaay!" Sophio yelled, as Eldrine jumped up and down, waving Georgian flags.
"Of course our good ally Georgia would get through," Alexey said.
"Was that supposed to be ironic?!" Sophio yelled, "We hate Russia!"
"Do we?" Beso asked, "Still? After all this time?"
"All this time?!" Sophio yelled, "Even in a million years we Georgians will still hate Russia! I will always hate Russia!"
"Shut up!" Alexey yelled, "We are Russia, we OWN you, Georgia!"
"Guys stop it," Lena said, "Please."
"Can we ask the Eurovision participants backstage to quieten down please?" Anke asked, "Now then, the next country qualified to the final is... da da dam... it's Finland!!!"
"Hooray!" Paradise Oskar smiled, "Tee hee!"
"Congrats Finland," Eric smiled.
"And the next one is... they're coming home... it's Iceland!!!" Anke smiled.
"Hooray!" said Palmi, as he and his bandmates waves Icelandic flags.
"Get your scandi flags away from my glorious Russian flags," said Alexey.
"No!" said Vignir, "Make us!"
"I will make you!" Alexey yelled, "Iceland was at war with the great allies of Russia, the United Kingdom!"
"No!" Gunnar yelled, "The United Kingdom was never attacked by us, we were only attacked by the UK! Stupid Russian, you don't know what you're on about! All glory to Iceland!"
"Iceland sucks," Alexey said, "All glory to Russia!"
"Again," Anke sighed, "I'm going to have to ask the Eurovision entrants to be quiet. So, the next act you have chosen is, it's Kati Wolf from Hungary!"
"Yay!" Kati said, "Thanks Germany! We love you!"
"And the next act is... c'est la vie! It's Lithuania!" Anke smiled.
"Thank you!" Evelina smiled.
Suddenly, a bunch of people in the crowd holding Macedonian flags starting booing. It was a well known fact that Macedonia hates Lithuania, after the 1993 Macedonian-Lithuanian war.
"Oh no," Evelina said sadly, "Everyone is booing me."
"People please!" Anke said, "If the entrants are quiet, then the crowd starts. Just a little while longer to go, guys. Ok, so, the next entrant through is... Azerbaijan!"
"Wooooo!" Ell yelled, "We love Germany!"
"Azerbaijan to win!" Nikki yelled, "Azerbaijan is number one!"
And then, a bunch of people in the crowd holding Armenian flags starting booing.
"I just can't win can I?" Anke asked, "Ok, well, there's only one more space now in our final... hmm... who could it go to? It could go to any one of our remaining countries... but it has definitely gone to... watch their dance everyone, it's Greece!"
"Hooray!" said Stereo Mike.
"We love you too!" Loukas smiled.
"And so Europe has chosen! Those are the first 10 qualifiers!" Stefan smiled, "Good night, Europe! Make sure to join us on Thursday for the second semi-final!"
And so the lights dimmed in the stadium, and that was the end of the first Eurovision semi-final.
"Darn!" Aurela said, "What a mighty darn shame we didn't qualify!"
"Us too," said Vlatko.
"But how come I didn't qualify?!" Stella yelled, "My song was absolutely perfect! This is just because you people hate Norwegians, isn't it?!"
"Can it, Stella," said RoxorLoops.
Emmy looked down at the Armenian flag that she had on her lap.
"I.... didn't qualify.... I feel almost as if, I have failed Armenia," Emmy said sadly.
"And don't forget, Azerbaijan are going to make a mockery of you," Alexey laughed, "Ha ha! I qualified and you didn't! You stink!"
Ell and Nikki cast glares at the Russian.
"We'll make a mockery of you, Alexey," Ell said, "Because your song stank."
"What?!" Alexey yelled, "Why you little-"
"But really you guys," Poli interrupted him, "We should be careful. It's almost as if you've all already forgotten about the bomb threat."
"It's not that we've forgotten, Poli," Vlatko said, "It's just that it's over now. There's nothing we can do about it. No one wants to think about it...as far as I am concerned, we are safe now..."
"You really think it's over?" Poli asked, "Obviously someone wants to stop Eurovision... and they are going to go to extremes that are normally reserved for smuggling operations... we can't just think the threats to Eurovision will stop because this one was dealt with successfully..."
"We just need to hope that whoever it is will be caught," Vlatko said, "And that they won't mess around with the Eurovision on Thursday."
"Indeed," Dino said, "But we can only wait and see..."
Now the Eurovision entrants were all walking back to the hotel, thinking about the days events.
"Evelina..." Vlatko said.
"No, Vlatko, I'm not here to talk about what happened between our two countries," Evelina said, "I'm here for Eurovision..."
"I am here for the Eurovision as well," Vlatko said, "That is why I must apologise to you for what my countrymen have said, they shouldn't have booed you."
"Oh," Evelina said, "Th..thank you, Vlatko."
"Uh, hello?!" Poli yelled, "You do all realise that there was a bomb in the green room today, don't you?!"
"Yes, we do," Nina said, "As you keep reminding us."
"As I should be reminding you, you mean!" Poli said, "Let's not forget, let us never forget, that the Eurovision is in serious danger here! This is a serious situation!"
"Poli, shh," Jan said, "You know what Stefan and the police said, that we aren't to speak a word about this to anyone..."
"Well that's just bullshit!" Poli yelled, "What happens when we come back on Thursday, and there's another bomb in the green room, eh? What if we can't get out in time? What if we're not so lucky the next time it happens? What happens then?!"
"I guess we'll just have to trust the judgement of Stefan Raab and the Dusseldorf police," Dino said, "Oh, believe me Poli, I'm just as worried as anyone, I know what these bombs can do, I recognise them, you see..."
"I see..." Poli said, "But... the people at the EBU are putting us in the firing line for their failings! We shouldn't have to be at risk from an attack just for being on the Eurovision!
"I know Stefan is usually always right," Lena thought, as they approached the door of the hotel and all went inside, "But what about this time?"
Meanwhile, outside the hotel, another development was happening. Terry Wogan's plot to disrupt the Eurovision was about to unfold, but this plot involved... less sinister motives than whoever was leaving the bombs.
Terry had all the animals of Berlin Zoo assembled outside of the Eurovision Dusseldorf hotel.
Suddenly, he was interrupted by his phone ringing yet again.
"Hello, this is Terry Wogan speaking, who is this?"
"Hello Wogan, this is Andrew Lloyd-Webber."
"Don't be like that Wogan," Andrew laughed, "I know you love my calls really."
"Well, what are you bugging me about this time?"
"I was thinking... do you have any plans for the oil situation?"
"I don't know, I've had a lot on my plate, it is Eurovision time, don't you know. But I've been thinking of ideas... you know the way the Americans had nuclear bases all over the oil spots of Africa, right? Well, now that the Americans aren't there any more, and now that no one is in Africa due to the nuclear explosions, I guess we could put a claim to it."
"How can 'no one' be in Africa, that's ridiculous!"
"It's not ridiculous, Andrew, Yusaki made a barrier around Africa as well as America, he wasn't stupid. So then, when the nuclear explosions went off, it destroyed the entire continent but left everywhere else, pretty awesome, huh?"
"Oh, you think that's awesome?"
"Well yeah, I think that is pretty awesome. But we still have more than enough oil," Terry said, "Besides, I don't know if the barrier there is still up."
"The barriers are all down now, everything is completely safe," Andrew said, "The only barrier that still remains is the one around Belgium."
"Yes, it was of course the correct decision, it was something that had to be done."
"I don't get why they had to seal Belgium off..."
"It was my decision, fool! I was the one who decided to seal Belgium behind the barrier!"
"Alright, alright. Terry, look, let's get onto why I really called you," Andrew said, "Listen, we've got to cut this Eurovision crap out right now..."
"Put the animals away... there's... something's wrong..."
"What, what's wrong?"
"The Eurovision isn't important right now. There is a problem. "
"Ah... um... an oil problem."
"Liar, we already have more than enough oil," Terry snarled, "You just want me to stop using our machine."
"Ah, so you caught me. Look, just stop it, ok? I know you have Winston with you."
"Winston? He's not with me."
"Well he sure as hell ain't here!"
"He was with me before but he is not now," Terry said, and he looked in to the window and saw Blue.
"Blue look so happy there, ah, how can I storm the hotel with these animals while Blue are inside... time to wait a while... again... I will wait until Blue are not in the vicinity, and then we can take back what is rightfully ours," Terry said, and he retreated back into the shadows.
Meanwhile, Poli Genova was sitting in her hotel room, looking out of the window.
"There's got to be someone I can tell about this..." she whispered to herself, looking up at the stars.
Just then, Alexey Vorobyov stormed into the room.
"Alexey?" Poli asked.
"Poli..." Alexey growled, "I heard you saying... things... that you wanted to tell the world about what happened in the Eurovision semi-final today... well... you do understand that this is our little secret, right?"
"Alexey... get out."
"You see Poli, you're being very bad. And when you be bad, I can make bad things happen to Bulgaria, at a click of a button. How about those whirlpools again, eh? I'm sure the Third Island and all your little friends would appreciate it..."
"No! Don't touch my country, please!"
"Hahahaha, how far you fall, you're just a pathetic little Third Islander... like all Bulgarians are!" Alexey laughed, "Pathetic Bulgarians! Ahahahaa!"
Just then, Poli picked up the alarm clock from the desk and threw it at Alexey, hitting him in the chest.
"Take that, Russian!" Poli yelled.
"How fucking DARE you!!!" Alexey yelled angrily, kicked the alarm clock away from him.
"No Alexey, how fucking dare YOU speak to ME like that!" Poli said, "No one speaks to me like that! Ever!"
"Just what the hell is going on in here?!" Vlatko said, as he came up to the room.
"Always here to intervene, aren't you, First Islander? Or is it Second?" Alexey growled.
"First, and proud of it!" Vlatko said, "Now get out of here, you are a disgrace to mother Russia, and a disgrace to the Eurovision Song Contest!"
"No!" Alexey yelled, "You two are a disgrace to the very essence of the Eurovision! Especially you Poli, with the way you want to tell everyone about the 'misfortune' of today!"
"What do you mean 'misfortune'?!" Poli yelled, "That was a bomb, it could have killed all of us, and you know it!"
"Get lost Bulgarian!!!" Alexey yelled, as he stormed out of the room and ran away to his own room.
"That means he knows you're right, you know," Vlatko said, "The way he ran back to his room like that..."
"I know," Poli said, "But that doesn't make it any better... Alexey is a tool... and I'm worried about Dino..."
"What, Dino? Why?"
"I think... I think he's having flashbacks to the Yugoslav Wars... he's been acting strange ever since we found the bomb... you know..."
"I guess... that could be the reason why..."
"You don't think Russia could really do anything to us do you?" Poli asked.
"I... I don't know Poli," Vlatko said, "Russia has become the world's largest superpower now... I'm worried... Macedonia is of course overshadowed by the superpowers, such as Russia and Great Britain... I'd be very careful with this... Poli... if it could upset Russia..."
"I don't care about Russia, Vlatko," Poli said, "I just want this Eurovision to be over and for things to go back to normal..."
"I know, I know Poli... but things won't go back to normal as long as this over-the-top obsession with the Eurovision exists everywhere. I mean, I get people liking it, really, I do, I like it myself, but this days, it's become almost an obsession."
"I know what you mean, it's an obsession now back in Bulgaria too..."
Meanwhile, Terry Wogan was standing in a huge park in Dusseldorf, surrounded by all the animals he had collected. He had let Winston wander off, besides, Terry liked being alone anyway. The animals stood obediently, waiting for any orders that Terry might give.
"Perfect, a perfect plan," Terry laughed, but then a shadow jumped out from the bushes and tackled Terry to the floor, and the animal control device fell to the floor.
Terry looked up, and saw Jon Ola Sand standing over him, now holding the animal control device.
"No, don't..." Terry said, "What are you doing..."
"A ha ha ha!" Jon Ola laughed, "Winston said you'd be here, and he was right!"
"Winston! That double crosser! How could he? How dare he!"
"Shut it, Brit. I can't believe you were so stupid as to come here with the animal control device, ha, looks like I own the ACD now. Morons, what were you even going to do with it anyway?"
"We just wanted Lena back... she was our robot... we need to rebuild the British empire, after Blue win the Eurovision of course. Then it will be Blue Britannia! We will be a respected nation once more!"
"Shut up Brit! Hahaha, Blue can't win Eurovision, as I am going to fix it so Eric Saade wins! I love Sweden, and I'm going to make them popular!"
"Oh," Terry rolled his eyes, "And how are you going to fix the Eurovision for Sweden with an animal control device? Hmmm?"
"This isn't for fixing the Eurovision, Wogan, this is for getting rid of the failures that this year's contest has produced. You're lucky I don't dispose of you this instant Wogan, but I will get you at a later date, so don't you worry about that. I just can't waste any more time standing here with you, British trash. Now, come on my animal friends!"
And with that, all the animals left, following Jon Ola Sand, leaving Terry Wogan by himself in the empty park.
It was now the day after the first semi final, with all of the Eurovision entrants standing in the main hall of the stadium.
The newspapers heard nothing of the bomb, and people who did know something all kept quiet. Any word of this getting out and the Eurovision could possibly be ruined forever, and they didn't want that.
The police officers that were searching the Eurovision stadium and hotel had questioned some of the entrants, but their interviews that were supposed to be about the bomb threat the day before became about how much the police officers love Eurovision, with the officers asking the entrants about their songs and asking for autographs. Most people in Germany were Eurovision-crazy, even police officers, and this was hindering their investigation. The police left shortly after, most of them were just going to go home and listen to Eurovision songs.
"You know, I can't believe these police!" RoxorLoops said, "They've asked me more questions about beatboxing and Witloof Bay than they have about the bomb from yesterday!"
"I know right?" Vlatko asked, "One of them started asking me about Rusinka and everything! I feel more like I'm giving Eurovision interviews than trying to help a police inquiry!"
"This really sucks," Poli said, "First of all they find a fucking bomb, second of all they're not going to cancel the Eurovision because of this?! And the police, they're doing nothing but harping on about the Eurovision instead of protecting us like they're supposed to be doing!"
"This sort of thing played a big part in Josh Dubovie's escape from jail," Lena said, "He escaped because the Norwegian police were too busy watching the Eurovision to guard the jail cells. And then he came after me again with a gun."
"You know," Christos said, "I'm regretting taking part in this Eurovision thing. For something that everyone supposedly loves, there sure are a lot of people out there who want to stop it."
"I can only imagine that they are jealous of the Eurovision," Lena said, "We all love Eurovision here, and so do most other people. But there are some who simply cannot stand something being more popular than them."
"Did someone say... popular?!" Eric Saade yelled, running into the room.
"No, you Swedish weirdo," Vlatko laughed, "Now go away and play with your Finnish friend."
"That's Fennoswede, actually!" said Paradise Oskar as he came into the room.
"Axel!!!" Lena yelled, jumping up from her seat and running over to Paradise Oskar, hugging him.
"Lena," Oskar smiled, "Nice to see you again."
"Nice to see you too!" Lena smiled.
"I hope the German radio stations aren't being dicks with all the alien invasion crap again."
"No no, it's been alright since then. They've gone back to just playing Eurovision songs like they used to," Lena said.
Jon Ola Sand had a piece of paper in his hands, with measurements for the green room written on them.
"There is more than enough space in here..." he muttered to himself, "Sweden will rain supreme!!"
And so Jon Ola Sand ran off with the animals, ready to come back later for his evil plans against the Eurovision Song Contest...
It was a while later, and Poli, Lena and Maja were sitting on a nearby table, talking to each other.
"Guys," Poli said, "I don't know about you, but, I think Dino's having flashbacks or something. I dunno, he's acting really weird now."
"F..flashbacks?" Maja asked, "You mean... flashbacks... of the Yugoslav Wars?!"
"Yeah, it's just, when he said about the bombs and stuff... I thought maybe he'd had some sort of flashback. And you guys know what they say about Grupa Regina?" Poli asked.
"No... what do they say about them?" asked Lena.
"Well, supposedly they spend their days standing by the river, moping about the Second Yugoslav Wars, I don't know. It's all very sad," Poli said.
"Poor Grupa Regina!" Lena said, "Wait... why aren't the other ex-Yugoslavs having flashbacks then? What about you Maja?"
"Well... I'm too young to remember the first Yugoslav Wars, and I imagine that Vlatko, Nina and Daria are all too young to remember it too. But the Second Yugoslav Wars... well, they affected all of us in a way, but the worst happened in Bosnia. All the fighting in the Second Yugoslav Wars happened in Bosnia. I heard some Bosnian cities were reduced to rubble. And of course the Macedonian-Lithuanian war happened in 1993... that was the worst..."
"That's all so sad..." Lena said.
"I know, you better go talk to Dino, Lena," Poli said.
"What? Me? But... I know nothing about the Yugoslav Wars... anything I try to say may come out the wrong way, I don't want to make things worse."
"Yeah, alright then," Poli said, "Maja, you do it."
"I do it? Are you crazy Poli?!"
"Fine, I'll do it," Poli said, "Geez."
And so Poli walked over where Dino Merlin was sitting. He was sitting on a table, holding his guitar close to him.
"Hey, you alright Dino?" Poli asked.
"Err..." Dino looked down to the floor, "I... I'm fine Poli... it's just..."
"Yeah... it just reminded me of... you know..."
"Come on Dino," Poli said, "The Yugoslav Wars are over now. It's all over now."
"That's what they said the last time... when the first ones ended... but they came back. It started again! And this won't be the end! What if it starts up again?! The Third... Yugoslav wars... it was horrible... if it happens again-"
"It won't happen again," Poli said, sitting down on the floor next to him, "It won't.
"Besides," Daria said, walking over to them, "If there's another war everyone knows that the Netherlands will be the ones starting it."
"That doesn't make me feel any better," Dino said, "I don't want us to be in any wars period.... whether that is against other ex-Yugoslav countries or against the Netherlands..."
"Daria," Jan said as the 3Js walked over, "You know as well as I do that we won't be starting any wars!"
"Oh here we go," said Daria, "It's the war-mongering Dutch! Haven't you people started enough wars!"
"We didn't start any wars!" Jan said.
"Yes you did!" Daria yelled, "And then you deny it and try to blame it on poor Britain! What have they ever done to you?!"
"Guys, guys," Lena said, "Come on now, this is ridiculous, we have to pull together to make this Eurovision work! You know how last year's Eurovision would have ended if he hadn't pulled together? Horribly, that's how! Who knows what Josh would have done, eh?! But we all stuck by each other and that's how we made last year's Eurovision work! If we give in to the bad guys then they have won, haven't they?!"
Later that night, Nadine was in bed, when suddenly, Stella Mwangi, the Norwegian entrant, stepped into the Austrian entrants room.
"Mmm..." Nadine asked, "Who's there?"
"It's me, Stella. I know who did it, the bombs..." Stella began.
"S...Stella?" Nadine said, "What...what are you doing here?"
"It was Vlatko, it must have been," Stella said, while grinning evilly, "Did you see the way he acted after it? It was him, I just know it!"
"Stella, go to bed," Nadine said, "Now."
"No, no Nadine! We need to stop Vlatko! He's a danger to us all!" Stella yelled, "I'll go get Anna, you stay here!"
And so Stella ran out of the Austrian's room, and went to a door that had a Swiss flag hung on the handle.
Stella slowly turned the handle and went inside.
"Anna. Hey, Anna," Stella said.
"Hmmm... Norway?" Anna asked, "Oh, hey Norway, what do you want?"
"My name is Stella you little... I mean... hello Anna," Stella grinned, "I... we... need your help. It's Vlatko. We have evidence that he was the one who did the bomb in the semi final..."
"What evidence, what are you talking about?"
"I'll go sort this," Stella smiled, "Remember that I told you and Nadine first..."
And so Stella ran out of Anna's room and went to the door with the Macedonian flag on it.
Vlatko was in the bed, and Kunemon was sleeping on a blanket on the floor.
"Uh... who's there?" Vlatko said as the door opened. Kunemon woke up and saw Stella standing in the doorway.
"None of your fucking business, that's who," yelled Stella as she picked up an alarm clock from the shelf and threw it at Vlatko.
"Ow, what the hell!!!" yelled Vlatko.
"Get out of here!" yelled Kunemon.
"What the hell is that?!" Stella yelled.
Kunemon jumped up from the floor and shot a string shot at Stella.
"God damn it!" Stella yelled, as she ran out of the room and down the corridor.
"I'm gonna get her, boss!" Kunemon yelled.
"No, don't, Kunemon, stay here," Vlatko said.
"Aw, but why?" Kunemon asked.
"Because, you're a digimon, that's why," Vlatko said, "You have to stay here."
In Macedonia, Digmon are generally accepted, as it was known that they saved Macedonia from the whirlpools, but Germany had little contact with the digital monsters outside of the digimon in the PVR. Vlatko didn't want Kunemon to be taken away, especially as he had snuck him onto the plane to Berlin. But Stella had not been in the 'Eurovision in Concert' event, and therefore had not been to the digital world.
"God damn it Vlatko, we Digimon should have equal rights, ya know that boss!" Kunemon said, as he went and crawled under the bed.
Vlatko looked out of his room and saw Anna and Nadine standing there.
"Huh?" Vlatko said, "What are you two doing here?"
"Stella came into our rooms, talking about some crazy stuff," Nadine said.
"Yeah, Norway's weird," Anna said.
"But there has been a very serious accusation," Nadine said, "Stella says it was you who planted the bombs..."
Just then, the door with the Bulgarian flag on it opened and Poli Genova walked out of her hotel room.
"Ok guys, what the hell is going on around here?" Poli said, "Stop making so much noise when some of us are trying to sleep!"
"It's that Stella! She's nuts!!" Vlatko yelled.
"I'm nuts?! He had the fucking yellow worm shoot rope at me!" Stella yelled from down the stairs.
"See what I'm talking about?!" Vlatko said, "She's nuts!"
"Get her out of here now!!!" yelled Poli.
"Too fucking late!" Stella yelled as she ran out of the hotel door, "I'll be back tommorow you morons! Let's see what the EBU has to say about this Moronvision Song Contest then!"
The next day, Stefan Raab had gathered all of the 2011 Eurovision entrants into the green room. The EBU had ruled that Stella's misconduct was unacceptable.
"Stella, you are hereby disqualified from the Eurovision Song Contest!" Stefan yelled.
"Who cares?" Stella said, "I had already not qualified from the semi final, due to the audience's horrid taste in music. Bwa ha ha!"
And with that, Stella stormed out of the room.
"If that had been Alexey... he would have gotten away with it," Poli said, "It's one rule for the Russians and another rule for the rest of us..."
"She got away with it as well!" Vlatko yelled, "Where's the bloody police?! That was assault, that was! Bloody hell!"
It was a little while later, and all the remaining Eurovision entrants had gone into the green room.
"Good luck Slovenia," Aurela smiled to Maja Keuc, "I wish y'all country luck at Eurovision. Yeehaw!"
"Thanks Aurela," Maja said, "I wish you luck too."
"Thanks Maja," Aurela smiled.
Aurela then walked off and walked up to Poli Genova.
"Hey Aurela," Poli said.
"Oh, well howdy Poli!" Aurela said, "I was just talkin' to dat there little-un Slovenian pancake, Maja Keuc. So, how's y'all keepin'?"
"Fine thanks, just hoping that tommorow will be good, you know? No more weird incidents for us, I hope."
Tomorrow was the day of the second Eurovision semi final, and they were all hoping that there wouldn't be another incident like the bomb or Stella's rampage again.
And so it was now the day of the second semi final.
Bosnia-Herzegovina and Austria had already performed their songs. Despite being worried by yesterdays bomb threat, Dino had performed well, and Nadine charmed the audience with her amazing voice. The audience loved them. But there was one country that was sure to get a negative reaction from the audience.
"And now," Stefan smiled, "For our third country tonight- the Netherlands!"
An enourmous amount of booing erupted from the crowd.
The 3Js looked incredibley nervous backstage.
"Oh god you guys," said Jaap Kwakman, "They're booing us! They're booing us!"
"They're booing the Netherlands," said a voice from behind them and they spun around to find Lena Meyer-Landrut standing backstage with them, "Really this shouldn't be allowed. Russia got the same treatment last year, but not quite as bad as this. I'll see what I can do to make it stop. Jan, give me that microphone please."
And so Jan gave his microphone to Lena and she then walked out onto the stage.
"Stop your booing right now!" Lena yelled, her voice filling the stadium, "This is an absolute disgrace! Just what do you people think you are doing! You should be ashamed of yourselves!"
The audience went silent.
"This is horrible! You mean people booing 3Js for something they didn't even do! What, do you think they wanted the civil war? Don't be ridiculous! No one wanted that! And the 3Js had nothing to do with any of that! If they did, do you think that we'd even think of allowing them onto the Eurovision? No! Of course not! So calm down, stop booing!"
The audience cheered for Lena, louder and louder, waving German flags.
"Well guys, looks like you're on next," Lena smiled, and she handed the microphone over to Jan.
"Thanks Lena," Jan said and the 3Js went out onto thr stage and performed their song, 'Never Alone'.
The crowd cheered because of Lena's speech before hand, and everything went well.
The 3Js went back to the green room to find Lena standing there, smiling.
"Woah!" said Jaap Kwakman, "That was great, Lena!"
"Aw, come on you guys," Lena smiled, "It isn't that big of a deal."
"What are you talking about Lena," Jan said, "If you hadn't done that, that would have been awful! Thank you Lena!"
And so the night continued as normal, there were no strange incidents as each of the countries performed their songs, with the crowd loving each and every one, waving the flags of their favourite countries.
The three hosts stepped back out onto the stage, ready to reveal the results of the night.
"Ok, so," Anke said, "You've been voting all night for your favourite countries, and now we can reveal to you, the results of the second semi final!!!"
"The 10 countries with the most points will advance to the grand final on Saturday," Judith said, "Good luck to all our wonderful entrants who have performed here tonight!"
"So, the first qualifier is... 1273! It's Getter Jaani!" Stefan smiled, "And she gets to join Vanilla Ninja as the only two acts ever to qualify from the semis for Estonia!"
"What?" Judith asked, "You're telling me that the Estonian masterpiece 'Leto Svet' didn't qualify?"
"Shockingly yes," Stefan laughed, "I wonder how that one slipped through the net!"
"Why are they making fun of the past entries of my country..." Getter sighed in the green room, "Oh well, at least we got through! I know we could always count on our good friends from Germany!"
"And the next qualifier is... Romania!" Anke said, "Congratulations to Hotel FM!"
Hotel FM jumped up in their seats and started waving Romanian flags all around.
"And the third finalist is," Stefan said, "Romania's good friends, Moldova!"
"Finalist number four is, lucky Ireland!" Anke said.
"Ok, so let's see what's in envelope number five," Judith said, "Of course, it's the amazing Bosnia-Herzegovina!"
"Our sixth finalist..." Stefan said, "It's Denmark! Congratulations to our friends in Denmark!"
"And our seventh finalist... well well," Judith said, "Come on and rock me Amadeus! It's Austria!"
"And our next finalist," said Anke, "It's the amazing Ukraine! Mika Newton and the amazing sand artist are through to the final!"
"Finally," Mika Newton smiled, "Finally we're here!"
"And our ninth finalist," said Stefan, "It's super Slovenia!"
"Keep your fingers crossed for your favourite country..." said Judith, "Because our last, and final finalist... they're popular... it's Sweden!"
The entire audience cheered. Sweden was a fan favourite and everyone was hoping for them to get through to the final.
3Js looked sad in the Dutch section of the green room, they knew after the first few votes had been read off that they wouldn't stand a chance at qualifying.
"Guys, don't be sad," Lena said, "It's only Eurovision, it's not the end of the world."
"Only Eurovision?!" Anna said, "ONLY?! What?! Foolish child, Eurovision is the world! Eurovision rules over all life as we know it!"
"Calm down Anna," Nadine said.
"Besides," said Mika Newton, "This is more a reflection of European attitudes to the Dutch as a whole rather than any reflection on the quality of the 3Js song..."
"Yes!" Eric Saade yelled as he waved about a Swedish flag, "Cheer up, Dutch guys. Clearly the most important thing here is that I got through, woooooo!"
"It's great," smiled Maja Keuc, "Finally, we Slovenians can proudly say we have advanced to the Eurovision final after so long without doing so..."
"All of you who got through should be proud," said Christos, "
"Well, that's that!" Stefan said, "Another great semi-final wrapped up! Now the grand final is complete! Out of 43 countries, we will see 25 again in the grand final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2011!"
"Be sure to tune in and join us on Saturday for the Eurovision grand final!" Judith said.
"We'll see you there!" Anke smiled.
And so the lights dimmed in the stadium once again, as the Eurovision theme tune played in the background.
"Wow," Lena said, "That went well."
"I guess... we can all forget about the bombs now?" Maja asked.
"I'd like that," Vlatko said.
"But... but... we've still got to be on our guard!" Poli yelled, "Someone tried to attack the Eurovision! Someone tried to attack us! Don't you see?!"
"Poli, Poli, you worry too much," Vlatko smiled.
"Just what do you mean I worry too much?!" Poli shouted, "Two days ago we found a bomb in the green room! Maybe that doesn't compute with you morons, but we could have all been killed back there!"
"But we weren't Poli," Nadine said, "And now the threat is gone."
"They could try this again, you know," Poli said, "We need to be on our guard, not just trying to pretend that it didn't happen just because we didn't want it to happen."
"What, like that time we went to the digital world, huh?" Vlatko said, "Trying to pretend that Digimon don't exist, eh Poli?!"
"That's different, that didn't happen!" Poli yelled.
"Yes it did!" Dino said, "Just like those bombs happened. We should never forget... either of those events. We must be careful, for the Eurovision Song Contest could be in great danger..."
It was now the next day, and all the Eurovision entrants were sitting in the hotel, thinking about the bomb scare from the day before.
"I just wish... I just wish that people would leave the Eurovision alone," Christos said, "This is ridiculous. It was just supposed to be a silly little contest... for fun, you know? But now... it's all so serious. The bomb..."
"It's awful, I know," said Loukas Yiorkos, "But something tells me that this won't be the end of the attacks on Eurovision."
The voice of Jon Ola Sand came through on the speakerphones that were in the hotel.
"Hello, this is Jon Ola Sand speaking, the new executive of Eurovision. I hope you are all enjoying your stay in Dusseldorf. And, one important thing, can all non-qualifiers please report to the green room please? Your part in the Eurovision Song Contest is not over yet, my friends!"
"Wait... what?" Vlatko asked, "They want us?"
"They do!" Poli smiled, "They want us!!!"
"Hmm... it's seems so. So finally they want us back," Christos said, "That's nice of them."
Everyone was shocked at Jon Ola's request, it seemed strange.
"Well, I guess it's good that our Eurovision journey doesn't end here," said Magdalena Tul, "We better get going!"
"Ah well, yes, we better go! Looks like we're needed again," Entienne said, "Come on my little Witloofs!"
And so all the non-qualifiers left the hotel and made their way to the stadium which was nearby.
Blue were surprised at this. They wondered why the non-qualifiers would be needed at all.
"What do you think they're asking them to go for?" Duncan asked.
"I don't know..." said Antony, "Their role in the Eurovision is over, they didn't qualify..."
"What if it's that 'surprise' Lena and Poli were talking about?" Simon said.
"Surprise?" Lee asked, "What surprise."
"In the first semi Poli and Lena were saying that maybe they're planning something," Duncan said, "But I have no idea what it could be. I mean, this is just bizarre. What could they possibly want with the non-qualifiers?"
"We should investigate!" Antony said.
"Antony don't be ridiculous," Duncan smiled, "You silly fool! There is nothing to investigate."
"Oh but there is," Lee said, "Of course there is, and I know for a fact that that Jon Ola guy's room is upstairs. Well, do you want to come with me or not, because I'm not going to not know what the surprise is while those non-qualifying failures know all about it!"
"Hey Lee, watch it," Duncan said, "There are no failures at Eurovision."
"Whatever," Lee said and the four of them went upstairs and walked along the corridor until they came to the room of Jon Ola Sand.
"Hey guys," a voice said from behind the four, "What you up to?"
They spun around to find none other than Lena Meyer-Landrut standing behind them.
"L...Lena!" Duncan yelled, "What are you doing here?"
"Uh... oh... well... ok, I'll admit, I did follow you guys up here," Lena said, looking to the floor, "But you guys are like my idols! How could I not?"
"Ok... well... look Lena, you know the non-qualifiers have all gone to the green room, right?"
"So, we're going up to Jon Ola Sand's room to investigate!" Duncan smiled, "We think there's a big surprise for them and the answer to what it is, is waiting on the other side of that door!"
"Uh, ok Blue, fine, you can do that, but only if I can come with you!"
"Can she come with us?"
"She sure can, Duncan," Simon said, "Come on Lena, let's go!"
And so Lena and Blue opened the door and went into the room.
"Strange," Lena said, "How he left his room unlocked like this."
"It's almost as if he wanted us to find it," Lee said.
"Or, he left in a hurry," Duncan said, "He was rushing to put the finishing touches on the big surprise, maybe?"
Jon Ola Sand's desk was in the middle of the room. There were sheets of paper scattered across the desk, and some books sitting on it.
There was a green sheet of paper on the desk. Everyone was drawn to it because the neon green colour was so bright, it stood out from the other items on the desk.
On the green sheet of paper the words 'Non-qualifers' was written in huge black writing. There was then a list of all the countries which hadn't qualified to the Eurovision final. Then there was a list of animals and instructions on how to lock the green room.
"The hell is this for?" Lena asked, but then she saw that underneath that it had the size of every animal listed, and then the size of the storage room which was in the green room. Underneath that it had the words 'they'll never guess what's coming'.
"Oh my god," Duncan said, "Oh my god no... look at this... what the hell is this..."
"Ok, look guys," Lee said, "This could be anything, we don't know what this is for just yet."
"Wait," Lena said, picking up a small red book that was on the desk. It appeared to be a diary.
Lena opened it and started reading.
"Friday the 13th, May, 2011," Lena read from the book, "They say Friday the 13th is unlucky for some, but for me it is most lucky. Winston, the defector from the UK, has told me the location of Terry Wogan and his magical animal control device, but later on, this device will belong to me. Winston also told me that Terry Wogan has all of the animals from Berlin Zoo... a ha! It will be perfect! All I have to do is lure those useless non-qualifiers into the green room, fill the storage cupboard with the animals, use the device to make the animals quiet, lock the doors of the room, and then... carnage. It's perfect, a perfect plan. I can't wait for tonight.
Signed, Jon Ola Sand."
"What the fuck?!" Antony yelled.
"Is this serious?!" Lee asked, "What the hell?!"
"This is fucking sick man," Simon said, "Why the fuck would they want to kill all the non-qualifiers? There's nothing to gain from that! There's nothing to gain from any of this! It's pointless! All of it! Pointless!"
"We have to warn them," Duncan said, "We have to go to the green room and get them out of there!"
"Come on, what are we waiting for, let's go!" Lena yelled, and Lena and Blue ran out of the room, out of the hotel, and in the direction of the stadium.
"We've got to see what they're up to," Amaury smiled.
"Yeah, I don't see what makes the non-qualifiers so special," Lucia said, "Why would they get a surprise and not us?"
"Yes," said Raphael, "Someone should go and see what the big surprise is!"
"I'll do it!" Nina smiled.
"Perfect," Lucia smiled, "Remember, report back to us once you find out what is going on."
"Alright, I know my mission," Nina smiled, and she headed off to the green room with the non-qualifiers, trying not to be seen.
It was a little while later now, and all the non-qualifiers and Nina were now in the green room.
"All us non-qualifiers here, I feel so happy!" Senit smiled.
"To be honest I'd feel happier if I had qualified," Daria said sadly.
"Not to worry Daria," Magdalena smiled, "It's only Eurovision! It's not the end of the world!"
"Oh, don't be so naive you silly Pole," Stella said, "Eurovision is the world now, it's all anyone cares about anymore, and we didn't qualify... this is a national disgrace!"
"Whatever," Senit said, "We did our best, that's all we could have done. Not everyone can qualify, you know."
"I know," Stella said, "But I should have done!!! Stupid voters, what is wrong with them, were they watching some other show?! Could they not see my amazing talents?! This show was fixed against me from the very start! Those insufferable Germans have fixed this against me!"
"Oh be quiet," Emmy snapped, "How dare you blame Germany, the hosts of this magnificent competition!"
Homens da Luta started laughing in the corner.
"Huh, Nina?" Vlatko whispered to Nina, "I thought you had qualified?"
"Uh... no... well yes... shhh Vlatko," Nina smiled, "I'll explain afterwards."
"Oh alright then," Vlatko said.
A few minutes passed in silence.
"Hmmm, what do you think they have us here for?" Poli asked.
"Beats me," Christos said, "Maybe they've just come to rub in the fact that we haven't qualified."
"We should have qualified!" Stella yelled, "Our song was the best of the night! Better than the rest of this Euroshite rubbish!"
And with that Homens da Luta started laughing again.
"And just why do you two keep laughing?!" Stella yelled, "You Portuguese should learn some respect!!!"
"Be quiet Stella," Jan said, "Europe have already made their decision, they do not want you."
"They don't want you either, you Dutch loser!" Stella yelled, throwing her Norwegian flag at the 3Js, "No one likes the Netherlands! Most hated country in the world you losers are!"
Stella then started grabbing all the Norwegian flags that were on her table and threw them at the 3Js.
"Is that really necessary?" Christos asked, "Throwing flags at the Dutch entrants like that? Hmmm? Maybe you should calm yourself down, Stella."
"Maybe you should shut the fuck up Cyprus!" Stella yelled, and she started throwing the flags at Christos too.
"Stella, drop it," Jaap de Witte said, "This isn't getting us anywhere."
"You Dutch losers started it!" Stella yelled, "And you, Cypriot shit, I hate you! I hate you all!"
"Maybe we should all just try to calm down a little," Emmy said.
"I agree," Nina said, "All this fighting it getting us nowhere."
"Wait Nina why the hell are you here?!" Daria asked, "You qualified, didn't you?"
"Oh yes, I did, I was sent here to spy on you guys and find out why it was you who got the special surprise and not us, the Eurovision qualifiers!" Nina smiled.
Then they heard a clicking sound.
"Be quiet you guys, did you guys hear that?" asked Daria Kinzer.
They heard more clicking sounds.
"Uh... what was that, you guys?" Vlatko asked.
"That... those noises sound like they're coming from the doors," said Jaap Kwakman.
"You know, I don't like where this is going," RoxorLoops said.
Christos went up to the exit doors and tried to open them, but they were locked.
"Uhm... we've been locked in you guys," he said.
The two Slovakian twins went to the door and tried to open it too.
"They can't do this, can they?" Daniela asked.
"No, this has to be against some sort of EBU rule," Veronika said, "Surely they can't do this."
"Well it looks like they have," Poli said, "And I don't know what the hell they're playing at."
Christos looked up and saw a speakerphone on the ceiling.
"Hey," he said, "There's a speakerphone, like the one in the hotel."
"Correct. And, oh dear, looks like you all failed to qualify," Jon Ola Sand's voice came from the speakerphone, "Non-qualifiers... non-qualifiers of Eurovision are failures. There's nothing to say to you, nothing to say. You didn't qualify, you are worthless... I am here to deal with this. This problem will be solved."
"Shut the fuck up you Swedish-wannabe twat!" Stella yelled.
"Yeah, just who in the hell do you think you are?!" Anastasiya yelled.
"I think that I'm the executive of Eurovision, and that nobody loves Belarus," Jon Ola laughed, "Nobody likes you Belarus. Now tell me, you piece of Belarussian crap, how does that feel?"
"Leave her alone," said Dana International, "And go fuck yourself."
"How about no," Jon Ola laughed again, "Looks like you're all stuck in here, hmmm... oh yes, do you guys want to know my plan for you? No one is going to come looking for you guys, I've arranged this with the broadcasters..."
And he was right, the broadcasters didn't want failed Eurovision entrants to come back into their countries. The Eurovision-fever that had started in Britain had now spread, so Eurovision was taken very seriously now throughout the whole of Europe, and failure was regarded as a disgrace, and in some countries, as treason.
"I feel like this is the time where I should point out that I actually qualified from the semi final," Nina said, still wondering if this was some sort of weird joke.
"I don't give a shit, bitch," Jon Ola growled, "You are not Swedish, you're a disgusting Serbian! Only Swedes deserve to inhabit this fine Earth, all others shall be liquified!"
"Come on, this is ridiculous, what is this?" Poli yelled, standing up from her seat.
"Shut up Bulgar trash!" Jon Ola yelled, "Shut up the lot of you! So, you know how Jedward wanted to use tigers in their performance, right? Well, we couldn't allow that, oh no, because we needed to save the animals for ourselves. I have a whole collection of animals here with me."
"You're a fucking weirdo, you know that Jon Ola?" Poli said.
"Maybe, but maybe you should try to be a little nicer, since I am the one who controls your fate from now on. And now, I will bring out the first animal! Ha ha! As you can see, I have locked all the doors, but look in front of you, there is a small door that leads to the storage cupboard. And now, let's bring on the first animal!"
The door opened slightly and a little crocodile came walking out.
"Oh shit!" Vlatko yelled, running to the other door and trying to open it.
"No, no, wait," Jan said, "We can speak to animals, I know that sounds crazy but it's true. Come on little crocodile, speak to us. Speak to 3Js."
"I am sorry," the crocodile replied, "I cannot control myself. I am following the orders of Jon Ola Sand, who has an animal control device."
"I see," Jan said.
"What is it saying?" Nina asked.
"Oh come on Nina," Dana said, "You don't really believe this Dutch loser's Doctor Dolittle bullshit, do you?"
"The crocodile says it cannot control itself," Jaap Kwakman said.
"And it's following the orders of Jon Ola Sand!" Jan yelled, "Who has some sort of device to control animals with!"
"Bull fucking shit, Netherlands," Dana said.
"It's times like these I wish that Gjoko's pokemon had appeared here, and not in Skopje Fest," Vlatko said.
"Yeah," Dana said.
"Oh ok, so you're fine with him spouting off about random bullshit," Jaap de Witte yelled, "But when we do it, it's all, 'oh shut up you lying Dutch losers'?"
"Shut the fuck up you Dutch trash!" Dana yelled, "Vlatko isn't the one from the most hated country in the world now, is he?! Fucking Netherlands have caused all the problems in the world, and then you moan about having not qualified? You brought this on yourself, so shut the fuck up!"
"Alright, first of all, we never moaned about not qualifying, and secondly, we didn't do anything!" Jan said.
"I bet you guys got like, last place," Dana said, "Everyone hates the Netherlands. Fuck them, they caused the Belgian Civil fucking War."
"Look, you guys," RoxorLoops said, "There's a time and a place for politics. Eurovision is not that."
"Politics is in the Eurovision because of the Netherlands insistence on sending an entrant," Dana growled.
"Stop arguing you fools, and look at the storage cupboard door now," Jon Ola laughed, his voice echoing from the speakphone, "As amusing as your arguments are, I really don't have the time to hear you prattle on about the Netherlands. Now, that storage cupboard is huge, but don't worry, I controlled the animals with a device to make them be quiet in there. I don't know how those fucking Dutch weirdos could have known that, but I don't give a shit about you Eurovision rejects."
"Why are you doing this!" yelled Aurela, as all the entrants were now standing on the couches so that the crocodile could not reach them.
"I am very sorry," the crocodile said, "I cannot control it."
"I know," Jan said, "We will try to help you."
"Stop pretending to talk to animals and shut the hell up Dutchie, or I'll push you off this couch and then we'll see if you can talk to your little friend down there," Stella snapped.
"Ok look that's not helping," Christos said, "Let's just try-"
"Let's just try what?" Stella yelled, "Standing on this couch all day!?!"
"Oh, but you won't need to stand on the couch all day," Jon Ola laughed, "As I will be now sending in other animals, ones who can jump up to play with you, have fun now!"
And the storage cupboard door opened again, this time much wider, and a whole host of different animals walked out, looking around the room as they went.
"Now, my little animal friends, you see the Eurovision entrants all standing on the couches, don't you?"
The animals nodded.
"Well, get them!!!"
The animals started walking towards the entrants.
"Stop it!!!" yelled Jan, "Stop it please!"
Someone was knocking on the door. This distracted all the animals, who looked over at the source of the sound.
"Guys!" Lena yelled, "Guys, let us in!!"
"We found something horrible!" Duncan said.
"We know about the evil plans of Jon Ola Sand!" Simon yelled.
"So do we..." Nina said sadly, "It looks like we're now a part of them..."
"No! No!!!" Lena yelled, trying to get in, "You crazy Norwegian! Stop this now!!!"
"It's too late, little Lena!" Jon Ola Sand laughed over the speakerphone, "Too late. This years Eurovision shall end like this... a HA HA HA HA HA!"
"You're mad!" Christos yelled.
"Mad... maybe... but at least this way I can show the world what happens to the failures of Eurovision!" Jon laughed, "Also, all the entrants who do not win will also be treated like this. Bad luck Lena, bad luck Blue!"
But Simon Webbe had grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall.
"Step back, Lena!" Simon said.
Lena stepped back and Simon rammed the door down with the fire extinguisher, breaking the lock.
"Come on everyone!" Lena said, "Let's get out of here!"
And so all the Eurovision entrants ran out, away from the animals. The animals just sat there.
"Well?!" Jon Ola Sand yelled, "Why are you just sitting there?! Go after them!!!"
And so the animals tried to follow them, but most of them could not get through the small door.
"God damn it!!!!" yelled Jon Ola Sand, "You failures!!!! I curse your existence!!!!"
Meanwhile, the last three Flemish seperatists stood on a hill, overlooking the Dusseldorf Arena, where the Eurovision was being held.
"That is it..." Lex said, "The Espirit Arena..."
"They will pay, pay for what they did to Fantasia," said Candy Cane.
"And for what they did to Flanders," said Dew Drop.
"Yes," Lex laughed, "They will pay for all of that."
The Flemish seperatists were annoyed, in their minds Witloof Bay had been the one thing stopping them from creating Greater Flanders, even though it due to Terry Wogan's actions that Belgium was sealed away behind the barrier, forgotten about like dirt sweeped under a rug. The intervention of Aslan meant that the Flemish seperatists had lost their first chance for revenge against Witloof Bay, but tonight they were going to try again. Tonight they were going to blow up the Espirit Arena.
All the non-qualifiers were now running back to the hotel with Lena and Blue.
"What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck," Vlatko kept repeating to himself as they all ran into the main room of the hotel, seeing the qualifiers of the Eurovision, who all turned around to look at them.
"What's wrong with you guys?" asked Maja Keuc, "You guys all look like you've just seen a ghost!"
"We need to get the police here, now," Lena said, "It's Jon Ola Sand, he's stolen all the animals from Berlin Zoo and tried to get them to attack the non-qualifiers!"
"Wow," Nadine said, "You guys need to work on your pranks."
"Yeah," said Anna Rossinelli, "Even I can tell that this is complete nonsense!"
"Yeah, talk about attention seeking bullshit," said Stereo Mike, "They're just annoyed because they didn't qualify! No attention for non-qualifiers!"
"No, no!" Lena yelled, "Look, I wouldn't lie about this! That Ola Sand guy's gone nuts!!! He's gone mental!"
"I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it myself," Duncan added.
"It's true, we swear!" Nina yelled.
"Oh come now Nina," Dino smiled, "Don't tell me you've been pulled into this little game of theirs as well?"
"Ah, this is mental," said Mika Newton, "Complete and utter tosh. I'm going out for a bit."
And so Mika went out of the hotel.
"Yeah," Alexey said, "They're liars, the lot of them. Attention seeking, that's all it is, attention seeking because they didn't get through to the final."
"Shut up you dumb Russian!" Vlatko said, "Wow, and I always wondered why we liked America more than Russia, but I can see why now!"
"You shut the fuck up," Alexey growled, "I'm so glad that America got nuked, they fucking deserved it. Yusaki was a hero who could have rid the world of those American parasites once and for all, if only your Gjoko hadn't ruined his master plan. But you lot ruin everything don't you, good thing that Lithuania had put you in your place, if only those dumb Yanks had let them finish the job."
"How dare you!" Vlatko yelled, "America should have put YOU in your place!"
"Well they didn't because they're pathetic," Alexey yelled.
"Wow, I don't want to see this, come on guys, let's go," said Matthias.
"Yeah, I agree," Vignir said, and so all of Sjonni's Friends left the room and went outside, to where Mika Newton was.
"Yeah, fuck off!" Alexey yelled, "We don't need you here!"
"Hey, guys," Poli said, "About the animals..."
"No, shut your trap!" Alexey yelled, "Dumbass. If only Lithuania had bombed Bulgaria like they did to those shitty islands Macedonia. You stupid little-"
Poli slapped Alexey, sending him crashing to the ground.
"Now listen to me!" Poli yelled angrily, "The animals-"
"How fucking dare you!" Alexey yelled, "I will not be slapped by a mere woman! Back into the kitchen with you!"
"Wow," Jel said, as the rest of Homens da Luta laughed, "We better go get Mika and Sjonni's Friends so that they can watch this amazing fight! A ha ha ha!"
"Sure thing," Vasco smiled, "They're sure missing out by not seeing this!"
Mika Newton was standing on the street that was outside the stadium. The stars shone in the sky, and streetlights lit up the roads of Germany.
Suddenly, Mika turned to find Sjonni's friends behind her.
"Mika..." said Palmi.
"Oh, hey Palmi," said Mika.
Iceland had not had the best history with Ukraine. After all, it was Ukraine who supported Britain during the British-Iceland 'Cod Wars' of 1980, during which the British had used a plane to drop a bomb in the middle of Reykjavic. It was also Ukraine who had vetoed Iceland when Iceland wanted to join the EU, because of Ukraine's friendship with Britain. Seeing the Ukrainian standing there filled Gunnar with rage.
"You only qualified because of Russia," Gunnar said, "Russia's special friendship with you. I guarantee that Britain tossed in a few points for you as well, after all, you did help them to bomb us. Ukraine is a foul country, with foul people."
Homens da Luta were watching by the side of the road and were giggling quietly to themselves, trying not to be heard by either Mika or any of Sjonni's Friends.
"Er, Gunnar," Palmi said, "Maybe it's time we went back inside. Sorry about this Mika, but-"
"Sympathy votes... that's all," Mika said, "Sympathy votes for Sjonni... your friend got you sympathy votes. That's the only reason you qualified, you talentless sons of-"
"Shut up you nasty little Ukrainian wench!" Gunnar yelled, "How dare you talk about Sjonni in that way!"
"You... you slapped me!" Mika said sadly.
"How dare you speak of Sjonni in that way!" yelled Hreimur, "Nasty little Ukrainian!"
"You're a horrible Ukrainian," Benedikt yelled, "Which is actually an oxymoron, because all Ukrainians are horrible!"
"No!" Mika yelled, "Icelandic people are horrible, and you deserved what Britain did to you!"
"Shut it you nasty bitch!" yelled Vignir, "Ukraine and Britain nearly destroyed us as a nation!"
And so soon Mika and most of Sjonni's Friends were having a fight on the street, while Palmi stood by the side of the road.
"Hey, guys! Stop!" Palmi said, "Stop it right now, the lot of you! These events you talk about all happened a very long time ago! And this isn't professional at all! We are supposed to be Eurovision entrants, for goodness sake!"
Homens da Luta were watching, cheering them on.
"Don't listen to him," Vasco said, "Keep fighting! Ahahahaha!"
"This is so good," Jel laughed, "Even better than the other fight! I'm going to get everyone else and then we can all watch the fight! Woooo!"
Meanwhile, Alexey and Vlatko were still arguing.
"Nasty little Macedonian," Alexey growled.
"Shut up Russian," Vlatko said, "I don't know why I bother trying to make things with Russia and Macedonia better, I really don't know why, because they all act like you!"
"No Vlatko," Lena said, "Russians aren't all like that. Peter told me. Alexey is just a weirdo!"
"I... know Lena, but still, you must remember that it was the Americans who helped us in the battle against Lithuania, our so-called 'allies' the Russians didn't even lift a finger to help us," Vlatko said.
"How dare you you, you nasty little German!" Alexey shouted at Lena, "I am not a weirdo, you are!"
"Shut it, you're arguing with me, not her!" Vlatko yelled.
"Fine then Vlatko," Alexey growled, "You didn't deserve to win that war, it was those lousy Americans, they're always ruining everything. Lithuania should have won. Lithuania has always been closer to Russia than you lot! And that Skopje Fest, it was a joke! That pokemon should have destroyed that absolute rubbish! And another thing-"
Just then, Jel and Vasco came running into the room, holding his protest sign with him.
"Holy crap!" Jel yelled, "Holy crap you guys! Mika Newton and Sjonni's Friends are having a fight outside, and it's freaking awesome! Come on everyone, let's go and see!"
"It's so cool, come on let's go!" Vasco shouted.
"Woah, another fight," Maja said, "Just when I thought one was brewing up here."
"Well," Nadine smiled, "What are we waiting for, let's go!"
"But guys," Vlatko said, "What about the animals..."
"Shut up Macedonia those are fake you're only after attention," said Anna, "Now we're going outside to see the fight whether you lot like it or not!"
"Yeah!" Amaury said, "Let's go!"
And so they all ran outside to see the fight between Mika Newton and Sjonni's Friends.
"But guys!" Poli yelled, as she ran after them, "The animals!"
But the qualifiers of the Eurovision ignored her, thinking the incident to be a fake. How wrong they were...
All the Eurovision entrants were now outside, seeing Sjonni's Friends and Mika Newton fighting each other, with Palmi trying to get them to stop.
"Guys, stop!" Palmi yelled, "This is ridiculous!"
"The only thing ridiculous around here is Ukraine!" yelled Vignir.
"No!" yelled Mika, "It's Iceland!"
"For goodness sake," said Lucia Perez, "You people just can't behave yourself for two minutes, can you? There's only three days in a whole year that you people need to be together, the two semis, and the final. The rest of the time we're in the hotel or the stadium. But you weirdos fight there too! Get a grip, you lot!"
"Lucia," said Gunnar, "You wouldn't understand. Ukraine has wronged Iceland and the Icelandic people in the worst way possible, as has Britain!"
"He mentioned Britain," Simon whispered to the rest of Blue.
"I know," Duncan whispered, "I don't like where this is going."
"This is fight is getting boring anyway," Lee said quietly, "Maybe we should go."
"I agree," said Antony, "This is the most boring, pointless fight ever."
And so Blue left the scene, having become bored with the fight, and not wanting to enrage the Icelandics with their British presence, and they all walked over to the river. A bridge lead to a boat with a Dutch flag hanging from it. The boat belonged to the 3Js, who had sailed it from the Netherlands to Germany. A few weeks before the Eurovision, the 3Js had invited all of the entrants onto the ship, and they played their Eurovision songs to each other there.
Blue noticed that the lights of the boat were all on.
"Why are the lights on?" Antony asked.
"I don't know," said Duncan, "The Dutch band probably forgot to turn them off. Well, let's do them a favour and switch the damn things off."
"Why?" Lee said, "They should do it themselves."
"Come on," said Simon, "People will see just how helpful we are, we might even get more votes in the final!"
"Ugh, fine," Lee said, "Let's just hurry up and do it while those morons are fighting back there."
"Well, let's not call our fellow Eurovision entrants morons, eh, Lee?" Duncan said.
"I'll call them whatever I like, because that's what they are, morons," Lee said, "Always fighting with each other like idiots."
"Shut up and let's turn off these god damn lights already," Simon said, and with that, Blue walked on the bridge and went over to the boat. The door was unlocked and so they went inside.
"The doors unlocked," Duncan said, "We'll have to tell 3Js about that."
"Silly Dutch," said Lee, "They have no sense of security."
Blue went into the kitchen of the boat, and saw Stella standing there, with a gun in her hand.
"Wha... Stella?" Simon asked.
"Oh Blue, Blue!" Stella laughed, "How nice that you can join me! Ahahahaha, I was just planning to leave with this boat, but now that I have hostages... well that's even better! Ahahahahahaha!"
"Oh no!" Duncan said.
And with that, Stella locked the front door to the boat, and went into the control room.
"You guys stay back there," Stella yelled over to Blue, "Otherwise me and my gun might get a bit trigger happy! Ahahahahahaha!!!"
And so the boat sailed off, away from the bridge, into the sea.
Meanwhile, the 3Js turned away from the fight, and looked at the river, where their boat was sailing away
"Hey, that's our boat!" Jan yelled.
"It sure is," said Jaap de Witte, "What the hell is it doing floating away like that?!"
"I don't know..." said Jaap Kwakman, "Oh well, surely the Eurovision people will have to send someone to get it back?"
"The EBU, you mean?" asked Jaap de Witte, "Yes, I'm sure they will."
It was later on now, and all the Eurovision entrants were back in their hotel rooms. There was another meeting of all the Eurovision entrants in the green room taking place later that day.
Vlatko and Kunemon were sitting in the Macedonian hotel room.
"So I heard that the 3Js boat that they brought with them from the Netherlands has suddenly floated off into the river," said Vlatko.
"That is strange. Maybe we should go and solve this problem!" Kunemon said, "People and Digimon alike!"
"Uh... really?" Vlatko asked.
"Sure, really! I'll help ya boss!" Kunemon said, "I'll digivolve to Flymon... we fly over, and then you bring the boat back!"
"Uh... sounds great Kunemon," Vlatko said, "But I'm not sure..."
"Come on boss, you'll be great! You might even score I few Eurovision points!"
"I can't score any more Eurovision points Kunemon," said Vlatko, "I didn't advance from the semi final!"
"Well then we'll show everyone how wrong they were for not picking you!" said Kunemon, "Come on boss, what do ya say?"
"Alright then," Vlatko sighed, "I guess you just won't give up, will you..."
"No boss! Don't worry, we make a great team!"
"I'm sure we will," Vlatko said as he went into his pocket and took out his digivice. The digivice glowed slightly and so did Kunemon.
"Kunemon digivolve to... Flymon!!!"
Flymon was now much bigger, and he was a yellow fly type digimon.
"You look like some sort of bee... or a wasp..." Vlatko said, "How does a caterpillar digimon turn into a wasp?"
"Digimon are complicated, ok?" Flymon smiled, "Come on boss, we've got to prove ourselves to the Eurovision!"
"Fine," Vlatko said, as the two of them ran out of the hotel, trying not to be seen by anyone.
Vlatko and Flymon stood on the bridge by the river, looking at the boat floating around in the distance.
"Well boss, get on my back and away we go!" Flymon said.
"Uh... are you sure this is safe?" Vlatko asked.
"Perfectly safe!" Flymon said, "Come on boss, I won't let anything happen, don't ya trust me or something?"
"Fine alright," Vlatko said, as he climbed onto Flymon's back and Flymon flew slowly towards the boat.
Flymon landed in the boat, and the two of them stood on the outside deck. They looked at the white cabin in front of them.
"Something must be going wrong in here," Vlatko said, as he went to open the door of the cabin.
"No, boss!" Flymon whispered, "Quick, stop! Look at what's going on inside!"
They both looked through the window, and saw Stella pointing a gun at Blue.
"Oh my god!" Vlatko said.
"Hey, that's the one who attacked you!" Flymon said.
"Yes, she is," Vlatko said, backing off from the cabin, "Do you think they saw us?"
"I... don't think so, boss," Flymon said, "Why?"
"Because I think we should go back," Vlatko said, "She's got a fucking gun, man!"
"So what boss," Flymon said, "I'm a digimon! I can fight her off!"
"I can't risk it, I can't risk you," Vlatko said, "Digimon or not, you don't have a bloody gun! There's strength in numbers, after all, so let's go back and get the other Eurovision entrants..."
"No Flymon, we're going back."
"Alright, fine, whatever you say, boss!"
And so Vlatko climbed back onto Flymon's back and Flymon flew back to the bridge.
"There, we did it," Vlatko said, "Now I've gotta go and tell the Eurovision entrants what the hell is going on back there!"
"Sure thing boss," Flymon said, "But, oh, what if someone sees me?!"
"It's alright, Flymon..." Vlatko said, "No one's around. Quick, go back into my hotel room and turn back into Kunemon... all the Eurovision entrants will be in the green room by now, so I'll go back there and tell them what's going on..."
"Alright, as you say, boss!" Flymon said and he then flew off.
Meanwhile, all the Eurovision entrants except for Stella, Poli and Vlatko were in the green room.
"Where is Vlatko, anyway?" said Maja Keuc, "He's late!"
"In another fight with Stella, perhaps?" asked Lucia Perez.
Just then, Vlatko ran into the green room.
"Guys, guys!" Vlatko yelled, "Stella's gone nuts!"
"Again?" Christos asked.
"Yeah, again! She's a nutcase!" Vlatko said, "Stella's gone to 3Js' ship and she's took Blue as hostages!!!"
"What?! Seriously?!" Nina said.
"Yeah, seriously!" Vlatko said, "She's kidnapped Blue and she has a gun and I don't know what she's planning on doing!"
"Wait a minute... where's Poli?" asked Dino.
Poli Genova was upstairs and she heard the commotion going on.
Poli ran downstairs and into the greenroom where all the Eurovision entrants except for herself, Stella and Blue were.
"No! Not Blue!!!" Lena yelled, "No!"
"I'm sorry, it's true!" Vlatko said, "We've got to do something!"
"I know who can help us..." Lena said, "Aslan..."
"Oh not this Narnia bullshit again," Poli said, "I sure pick the worst times to come to the green room! Don't you know that's all fake?! Narnia nonsense... ha! What a joke!"
"No!" Lena yelled, "Aslan is real!"
"We can vouch for Aslan being real too," Jan stepped out and the two Jaap's nodded.
"As crazy as it may seem, we have been to Narnia," Jaap de Witte said.
"For the last flaming time Jaap, we went to Aslan's Country, not Narnia!" yelled Jaap Kwakman.
"Crazy Dutch losers!" Dana International yelled, "And Lena is probably on their side just because she's German! The Netherlands can go to hell!"
"I know how to bring Aslan here," Dino said, which caught everyone by surprise as Dino had barely spoken since the bomb incident.
Dino walked over to the CD player, which was used to play backing tracks.
He put the CD in the player, and started to play 'Love in Rewind'.
"Dino," Vlatko said, "Now is not the time for your Eurovision entry."
But then, Dino hit the 'rewind' button and 'Love in Rewind' started to play backwards!
A blue portal opened up, and out stepped Aslan, the great lion of Narnia.
"Someone call for me?!" Aslan smiled, as he looked around the room and saw the Eurovision entrants.
"See," Jaap Kwakman said, "I told you lot, I told you lot that we'd met Aslan!"
"Yeah well, we went to Aslan's Country, isn't that right?" Jan asked.
"It sure is," Aslan smiled, "I sent them there to protect them. And of course, the 2010 entrants came into Narnia, ah, I loved 2010."
"I liked 2010 too," Lena smiled.
"So, what are you calling me here for?!" Aslan asked.
"Well..." Lena began.
Jon Ola Sand was looking through the window of the door and saw the lion in the green room.
"Perfect," he whispered to himself, "Just perfect. That lion must have escaped from earlier, but I can use the control device to make that lion eat the Eurovision entrants... ha ha ha!"
Jon Ola Sand then burst into the green room, ran up to Aslan with the animal control device and pushed the button.
"Come on now," Jon Ola said, "Come on my little animal friend, you are under my control now. Got anything to say about that?"
Aslan remained silent.
"Good, good," Jon Ola laughed, "Now then, the Eurovision entrants... attack them!"
Aslan merely glared.
"No..." Aslan growled, "I am one lion that can't be tamed..."
And so Aslan raised his paw and knocked the animal control device out of Jon Ola Sand's hands, and sent it crashing into the wall, where it broke into hundreds of little pieces.
"Got anything to say about that?!" Aslan roared, as Jon Ola Sand tried to run away but Aslan chased after him and knocked him to the floor.
"Don't you dare touch my Eurovision entrants ever again!!!" Aslan yelled.
"Aslan, it's not just that!" Lena yelled, "It's Blue! Stella's took them hostage!"
"Ah yes, Blue, of course," Aslan said, "You just consider yourself lucky, Jon Ola Sand, that I have to go rescue Blue, but you will never be Swedish, EVER!"
"I am a Swede! Sweden forever and always!" Jon Ola Sand yelled as he ran out of the room.
"Aslan, come with us!" Jan said, and they all went outside and went to the bridge. They saw the ship in the distance, floating on the river.
"Blue..." whispered Lena.
"We could attack the ship..." Aslan said, "I can sink it."
"No Aslan!" Lena yelled, "Blue are onboard! You can't do that!"
"Meh, I hate Blue anyway," Aslan replied.
"No Aslan!!!" Lena yelled, "If you do this I'll never forgive you! Never!"
"Fine," Aslan laughed, "You know I wasn't serious saying that Lena, I have already gone to great lengths for Blue..."
And so Aslan glowed a bright white light, and so did the boat.
Suddenly, a giant yellow fly digimon flew past.
"Flymon no!" Vlatko yelled.
"I'm gonna prove myself to ya, boss!" Flymon yelled back.
"There's no need for that, Kunemon," Aslan said, as Aslan used his powers to teleport Flymon back to where they were and then pulled the boat back to the bridge.
"Aw, you guys are no fun!" Flymon said, and he then de-digivolved back into Kunemon.
The door of the cabin opened, and Stella walked out onto the deck, holding a gun.
"Ahahahaha!" Stella laughed, as she jumped off the boat and onto the land, "You think you can get away with this, Eurovision fools?"
And with that, Stella ran off, as Blue came out of the boat.
"Blue!!!" Lena yelled, "Blue! Are you guys alright?!"
"I'm fine," Duncan said, before seeing the great lion of Narnia standing with the Eurovision entrants, "Aslan..."
"Well, little Eurovision entrants, I believe this is where I say goodbye... for now," Aslan smiled, "But I assure you I will be watching the Eurovision final tommorow... I hope you guys make me proud."
"We will Aslan," Lena smiled, "We will."
Tonight was the night of the Eurovision final. People all over the world had been waiting in anticipation of this momentous event, and it was finally here. The day that one of the 25 remaining entrants would be crowned the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest.
The three German hosts walked out onto the purple stage.
"And welcome to the final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2011!" Stefan said and the crowd cheered.
"Tonight you will decide the fate of Europe," Anke said, "Tonight you will decide who is the winner of Eurovision!"
The crowd cheered again, waving the flags of their favourite countries.
They were cheering a lot at the beginning, but as all the 25 songs were performed, the audience were quiet. They of course wanted to hear all of the amazing songs in the 2011 Eurovision final. After each song, the cheering and clapping would start again. After all the songs had been performed, the three hosts came back onto the stage yet again.
"Well, there we have it, folks!" said Stefan, "You have now heard all of the final Eurovision songs! Remember, somewhere in there is your winner!"
The crowd cheered again, waving their flags and enjoying the moment.
Meanwhile, in the green room, all the Eurovision entrants were waiting backstage. The ones who were in the final were waiting nervously for the results.
Suddenly, the door to the green room opened and Terry Wogan then stepped into the room. A lot of the Eurovision entrants were mad at Terry Wogan, everyone knew he was behind the failed plot of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest. However, Blue admired him, as he is the dictator of the United Kingdom, and also because he knew Blue very well. He was there with them a lot of the time, helping them to promote their Eurovision entry 'I Can'. He was there with them and he was there helping them after Michael Flately and Sandy Shaw's plot to assassinate Blue at London Zoo. But the other Eurovision entrants only remembered the television reports from last year... the ones about how Terry Wogan and Josh Dubovie tried to stop the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest with violence. Their failure only made people's love of the Eurovision even stronger.
"Hahahaha," Terry Wogan laughed, as all the Eurovision people in the green room looked at him in shock.
"Terry Wogan!!!" Lena yelled, "What on Earth are you doing here?!"
"Ah, Winston double crossed me," Terry said, "I knew it was only a matter of time before disaster struck at the Eurovision. I know how much Winston hates the damn contest. Even more than I once did... and yet... these past few weeks I have started losing my disdain for the Eurovision... replacing it with... love... love of the Eurovision Song Contest! This is why me and Blue got rid of those pesky royal spongers... because of my newfound love for the Eurovision Song Contest!"
"Well that's all very nice but we know it was you how tried to get Josh Dubovie to shoot everyone during last year's Eurovision!" said Jan.
"Oh, silly Dutch," Terry smiled, "There is no need to be so bitter! Just because we, the United Kingdom, are by far the most superior country in the entire land of Earth, does not mean to say that you should flaunt your jealousy at every occassion!"
"It's all your and Josh's fault!" yelled Lucia Perez, "Good thing Didrik was there to get you all arrested, you nasty Brits need to be locked away forever!"
The door then opened again and Josh Dubovie stepped into the room.
"Someone say my name?" Josh laughed.
"What's he doing here?!" Poli yelled, "We all know what you did at last year's Eurovision! Get out of here now!"
"I'm here at Terry Wogan's request," Josh smiled, "So shut your trap, Third Islander."
"You've shown initiative, kid," Terry said, "And now that Winston isn't my second in command any more, I was wondering if you would like to do it."
"What?" Josh asked, "Me? Really?"
"Yes, your actions during the royal wedding meant so much to me, and Blue, and of course the people of Britain. Come, come and help us run our Eurovision empire. Would you like that?"
"I'd... I'd love to!" Josh smiled.
"And you know what Lena," Terry said, turning to Lena, "Our plan's gone down the pan. We give up. You're German now and I'm fine with that. We don't own you any more."
"Wow, well that was a change," Lena smiled, "And it only took you a year!"
"Yeah well, better late than never, that's what I always say," Terry smiled.
"Better late than never," Josh said, "Next Eurovision shall be... hopefully less eventful than this one."
"Well, now we must go, back to Britain," Terry said, "I guess, with my failed plan no longer in effect, that I just came to tell you all that you will be receiving no further threats from us."
"Good," Poli said, "We have enough threats against the Eurovision as it is..."
"So I heard..." Terry said, "Even though we step down, there are still more enemies of the Eurovision Song Contest out there. Hopefully you will be able to defeat the enemies of the Eurovision. I have trust in you. No one will ever be able to defeat the sanctity of Eurovision... no matter how hard they try. I know for myself that this is true... I tried so hard to stop the Eurovision Song Contest... so many attempts at dismantling the national finals... and yet... I got nowhere... nowhere at all..."
"Hopefully the new enemies will get nowhere as well," said Vlatko.
"Yes, I am certain that they will..." said Terry, "For now, goodbye, my Eurovision friends..."
"Bye Terry!" Lena smiled as Josh and Terry walked out of the back door of the green room and walked off, into the night.
"And now," Anke said, "The moment we've all been waiting for, it's time to start the voting! Very soon we will know the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 2011!"
The crowd cheered and a list of all the countries who had taken part in the final appeared on the screen. The audience and the televoters worldwide could vote for their favourite songs.
"Here is a list of all the songs in the final!" Judith said, "But who was your favourite?"
Suddenly, a man jumped onto the stage with the three hosts.
"Now then, what do we have here?" he said, glaring at the hosts.
"Who the hell are you?" Stefan asked.
"I am Lex, leader of the Flemish seperatists," the man answered, looking behind him at the last of countries on the screen.
"What do you see here? I see a list of countries that have forgotten Belgium," Lex snarled, "A list of countries that would rather seal us away than help us. No Belgium is listed here."
"You were represented here," Anke said, "In the second semi final. It's not our fault you didn't qualify."
"We weren't 'represented' here!" Lex yelled, "Those damn Walloons don't represent Belgium, and they certainly don't represent us superior Flemings! No, you've been tricked by those awful Walloons! Awful, awful, awful!"
"Get the hell of the stage," Stefan growled.
Lex then got a gun out from his pocket.
"You know, I don't think I will get off this stage," Lex laughed, "I think I'll stay. Any objections?"
The hosts stayed silent.
"Didn't think so!" Lex laughed even more.
The audience were all shocked by this point, and some had tried to get out via the exit doors, but they wouldn't open.
"Ok, well how about we play a little game, hmmm? The doors are all locked, so I suggest you fools in the audience stop trying to escape. We have the keys, given to us by one Mr. Jon Ola Sand, ha ha ha! If he cannot end Eurovision with the crocodiles, then yes, he will end it one way or another. There are always ways. We will help him. We will succeed in finishing this contest once and for all, you cannot stop us. We Flemings will always win!"
Jon Ola Sand then stepped onto the stage too.
"Ha ha ha!" Jon Ola laughed.
"Wait... what?" Stefan asked.
"Get off the stage you three!" Jon Ola Sand growled and the three hosts then stepped off from the stage and stood with the audience.
"Perfect," Lex said.
"Now then," Jon Ola said, "I will tell you the story of why I have done what I have done. See, I am the Executive Supervisor of the Eurovision, but no one pays any attention to me. I guess you guys all just think the Eurovision supervises itself, do you? Well, I'm sick of we executives not getting enough credit. Svante was fine with it, but he was a fool. And I have seen the jury results... Sweden does not win. A disgrace. A travesty. A Eurovision were Sweden does not win does not deserve to exist. A Eurovision where Sweden does not win deserves to be purged!"
"It's alright, it's alright," said Eric Saade, the Swedish entrant, who ran out of the green room and on to the stage, "I'm cool with not winning. You can't be a winner all the time, after all. You don't have to do this."
"No!!!" yelled Jon, "You will win!!! I will make sure of it! I am a true Swede! A real Swede! The most Swedish Swede in all of Sweden!"
"Yes," Lex smiled, "We, the Flemish seperatists, thank you for your support. And also for the funding we have received from you, from Lithuania, from Greece and of course from the IRA... Ireland's most powerful group..."
"We would never fund such a horrible thing!" yelled Evelina Sashenko.
"Damn right!" said Stereo Mike, "We would never fund you! You monster!"
"Silence!" Lex yelled, "Your countries DID fund us, they wanted us to do this... we are doing something in return for them that you will find out about very soon... now, hey wait a minute, where are Witloof Bay!?"
Lex ran into the green room and saw the door slightly open and he got out his key from Jon Ola Sand and locked it.
"No escape for any of you!" Lex yelled, "I assume those lousy Walloons have got out?! Damn it!"
Witloof Bay had slipped out of the green room while Jon Ola Sand was ranting about Sweden, and they were now walking around outside, trying to find the police or anyone else who would help them. But the streets of Germany were all empty, everyone was inside watching the Eurovision... no one was outside. They tried to bang on one of the doors, they could hear the Eurovision theme music from inside the house.
"They must be watching Eurovision in there..." Entienne said.
"Ok, there must be a way they'll let us in..." said Florence.
"They must know something is wrong in the Eurovision," said Ruby, "They must see that, why is no one answering to us?"
"I don't know..." Benoit said, "Hello?! Anyone in the houses? We know you're watching Eurovision in there!"
"This is taking too long, I'll ring the police," RoxorLoops said as he got out his mobile phone and dialled 911.
"Hello?" said the police officer on the other end of the phone, "Can you keep this quick, we're watching the Eurovision grand final in here!"
"Yes, if you are watching the grand final, then you should already know that the Eurovision is in grave danger!" yelled RoxorLoops.
"Yeah, but it ain't our problem..."
"But... but... yes it is!" RoxorLoops said, "You people love the Eurovision, everyone knows it! And now we Eurovision entrants are in big danger! We need your help or anything could happen!"
"Yeah, anything could happen, but they'll just get some new entrants next year," laughed the police officer, "So it doesn't matter. Besides, this makes great TV. Ahahaha!"
And with that, the police officer hung up the phone.
"What the hell?!" yelled RoxorLoops, "Doesn't anyone want to help us?! I thought everyone loved Eurovision! What's everyone's problem?"
Meanwhile, Lex had decided to send someone out to find Witloof Bay. He himself didn't want to do it, he wanted the satisfaction of making another entrant do it, but he needed someone who would be loyal, he needed to make sure they wouldn't phone the police. Not that he had to worry, the police were all too busy sitting inside watching Eurovision to deal with such matters.
"Hmmm," Lex said, "How about the twins."
"Yeah yeah, we'll find them!" Edward yelled, "You can count on us!"
"Yeah, we'll find Milky Way," John said.
"It's Witloof Bay, you Irish morons!" Lex yelled, "I wouldn't choose you incompetent fools to look for anything! I was talking about the Slovakian twins! Not you buffoons!"
The two Slovaks looked at Lex.
"Hmmm, I'll only send one of you," Lex pointed at Veronika, "And I'll keep the other one as a hostage."
"Oh no," Veronika said.
"It'll be alright Veronika," Daniela said, "Go."
And so Lex unlocked the green room door, let Veronika out, and then locked it again.
"You better hope she comes back with those fucking Walloons," Lex growled, "Otherwise I might get a little... trigger happy. Hmmm... sure would make good news that, wouldn't it? Flemish seperatists shoot Eurovision entrants. Such a nice headline! How fun! A ha ha!"
"What is this... obsession you have with Witloof Bay?" said Mika Newton, "It's-"
"You want to know about this 'obsession'. My 'obsession' is a burning hatred!" Lex roared, "First of all, they escaped the purges of the Wallonian scum! So me and Candy Cane decided to send someone after them. Fantasia wanted to do it. He was our second in command. He went after Witloof Bay and... he never came back! Those fucking Walloons must have done something to him! You bastards! So me, Candy Cane and Dew Drop have come here today to put an end to this 'Eurovision Song Contest' and to capture Witloof Bay and execute them live on national TV, which we would have done long ago if it wasn't for Amaury Vassili and his meddling robotic spider! Speaking of which, where is Amaury?"
Amaury hid behind a French flag, trying to stay low on his chair, trying not to be seen.
"There he is!" John yelled, pointing in his direction.
"Yeah, there he is!" Edward said.
"Jedward no!" Amaury whispered.
"Ah, so here's the nasty little Frenchman himself," Lex laughed, "Ahahahahaha! Oh, what to do, what to do with you. But I will wait first, we will receive the horrible Walloons Witloof Bay from the Slovakian. Ahaha! I bet Slovakia wish they had never entered the Eurovision after all! Ahahahaha!"
And so Veronika was outside now, walking down the starlit road. People's houses were all around. She knocked on some of them, trying to get help against the Flemish seperatists, but there was no reply. They were all too busy watching the Eurovision to bother opening the door.
"I wish someone would just answer me," Veronika said, as she knocked on yet another door.
"No!" yelled one of the people inside the houses, "Go away! We're watching the Eurovision right now so piss off!"
"But it's very important! And I am from the Eurovision, the Eurovision is in great danger! Surely you can see that for yourself on the screen?!"
"Yeah I can, and I'm watching it so bugger off you twat!"
"This is useless, I'll just have to bring Witloof Bay back then," Veronika sighed to herself, and so she walked off down the road. She saw Witloof Bay in the distance.
"Hey Witloof Bay!" Veronika yelled.
"Oh, who's that?" Benoit asked.
"It's Veronika!" RoxorLoops said.
"Oh, Veronika!" Florence said, "We've been trying to get someone to help us but the houses either don't answer or someone shouts that they're busy watching Eurovision. It's rubbish really. The Dusseldorf police didn't answer either, useless lot."
"Yeah, you get that problem a lot these days" Veronika said, "Anyway, the Eurovision people want to see you!"
"Wha... what?" asked Florence.
Veronika didn't want anything to happen to her twin, and so was prepared to lie to Witloof Bay to ensure that nothing bad would happen. She knew that if she told Witloof Bay what was really happening that they would probably run away, and she didn't want to know what would happen if she kept Lex waiting any longer.
"Yeah," Veronika said, "The Flemish seperatists have all been arrested and are gone now, but the police want to talk to you!"
"Oh, they do?" RoxorLoops smiled, "Ok, let's go guys!"
And so Veronika lead Witloof Bay down the road and back into the green room. The door clattered behind them.
Witloof Bay were still shocked to see Lex still in the room, standing before them.
"Ahahahahaha!" Lex laughed as the door locked itself.
"Oh my god," Florence said, "It's Lex! No!"
"What the?" yelled Benoit, "What's going on?! Veronika?!"
"I'm sorry..." Veronika said.
"Oh, what did she tell you?" Lex laughed, "A ha ha ha, don't tell me, she lied to you to save her twin? Hahaha!"
"Please forgive me Witloof Bay," Veronika said, "I couldn't... I couldn't..."
"Ahahahahaha!" Lex laughed again, "What did she tell you? I bet she didn't tell you the truth, that Eurovision had been taken over by me! Ha ha ha!"
"You're a monster, Lex!" RoxorLoops said.
"Who is Lex and why do you know him?" Poli asked.
"Lex is the leader of the Flemish seperatists," RoxorLoops explained, "All over the news back in Belgium, he was. He was one of the ones behind the Belgian Civil War, along with Geert Wilders."
Lex glared at the entrants.
"Ha!" he yelled, "This is perfect! Eurovision, a symbol of Wallonian and French oppression against we Flemings, can now finally be destroyed!"
"No!" yelled Eric Saade, "This is not right! All Belgians can live in peace, there doesn't need to be all of this!"
"No!!!" Lex yelled, "Walloons are not true Belgians, only WE are true Belgians! The Flemish are superior! Walloons ruined everything! There is nothing now... Fantasia was a true Flemish citizen... destroyed by your corrupt and evil ways. Wallonia was a scurge on society, that was why we had to remove it. We had to remove all of it. All of it!"
Lex then left the room.
Dino looked around at the other Eurovision entrants, who were still looking at where Lex had been in shock.
"We've got to find the backing tapes so we can summon Aslan," Dino whispered.
"I'll find it," said Loukas Yiorkas as he looked around the green room for the backing CDs of the Eurovision songs.
"They don't appear to be here..." Loukas said, looking around.
"Strange," Dino said quietly, "They were in here before..."
"Looking for these?!" Lex had appeared back in the doorway, holding the Eurovision backing CDs in his hand, "A ha ha! How fun!"
And so Lex went back onto the main stage.
"You better keep the cameras rolling," Lex said, while looking down at the Eurovision CDs in his hand, "Otherwise I will start to shoot the Eurovision entrants one by one!"
And so the cameras kept filming, sending the broadcast to millions upon millions of TVs worldwide.
"Eurovision is, and always has been, an outrageous waste of time and money," Lex then got a lighter from his pocket and held it to the CDs, which started to burn. He then threw the CDs on the floor and started stamping on them, putting the flame out, before picking each and every CD up and snapping it in half.
"There! That is what I have to say! That is my statement about Eurovision! The useless, farcical, ridiculous, horrible Eurovision Song Contest, with it's talentless, moronic entrants and it's disgrace to the superior state of Flanders!"
Lex laughed as he turned to get something from another room, and came back out onto the stage holding an electric gun.
"Good thing that the Brotherhood of Japan gave us Flemish seperatists some of these! They're gonna come in real useful... Yusaki was also an ally of ours, until you Eurovision bandits tarnished and stopped his rightful act of vengeance against America! America has never liked Flanders anyway, America is full of vile Walloon lovers! And so is the Eurovision Son Contest! You are all horrible Walloon lovers! You cannot see the true power of Flanders! You Eurovision fools!" Lex laughed, "But now... now you will all see the true superior state of Flanders! Ahahahaha!!!"
Meanwhile, in the green room, the Eurovision entrants were worrying about what might happen.
"What are we going to do?" Amaury said.
"Ok so, I can verify the existence of Aslan," Vlatko said, "I think he'll be able to come and help us, if only that Flemish guy hadn't destroyed the CDs, we could play 'Love in Rewind' backwards and summon Aslan here..."
"Aslan..." Poli said, "If he exists then where is he? Why isn't he here helping us?!"
"I don't know," said Simon Webbe, "But we in Blue have all seen Aslan, isn't that right guys?"
"It's right yes," Lee said, "He's helped us many a time including just before in Stella's rampage..."
"I've seen Aslan too," said Paradise Oskar, "He saved me from the Flemish seperatists in the mall..."
"All of us in 3Js have been to Aslan's country," Jan said, "We know a lot about it."
"There must be another way to get there..." Vlatko said, "And then Aslan will come and save the day like he always does!"
"I have an idea," Getter Jaani said sadly, looking at the floor.
"Well don't look so glum about it," Lucia said, "What's the plan?"
"Look at the thing he's holding," Getter said.
They looked and saw that Lex was now holding an electric gun, the same ones that the Brotherhood of Japan had invaded Wetten Dass and Eesti Laul with.
"It's one of those electric guns from Yusaki's group," Lucia said.
"Ok, so bascially, if I run up to him and fight him, he'll shoot me with the gun and... and then I'll wake up in Aslan's Country," Getter said, "Or at least... that's the plan..."
"Getter! Oh my!" Daria said, shocked.
"You can't do that!" Duncan yelled.
"She has to do that!" Amaury yelled, "What choice do we have?!"
"He is right. I have to do this," Getter smiled, "I will return with Aslan."
"Good luck, Getter," said Kati Wolf.
"I can't allow this. No. Look, Getter, it's terrible that everyone here is just going to let you do it. I can't allow that. I'll do it," Duncan said.
"Wait, no Duncan, you weren't here with Aslan when you guys were kidnapped, he was talking about how he didn't like Blue," Getter said, "I'm worried, if you go, Aslan won't listen to you."
"Come on, he's the biggest ever Eurovision fan," Duncan smiled, "He's not going to let the contest fall just because someone from Blue was sent. And he saved us from Michael Flatley and Sandy Shaw when they both attacked us!"
"We can't risk it, besides," Nina said, "We have no idea how Aslan's Country works, 3Js are the only ones who have ever been there."
"Rubbish," Poli said, "3Js, this Narnia fantasy of yours is becoming increasingly bizzare. In case you haven't noticed, we are in real danger here!"
"What about Witloof Bay?!" said Jaap de Witte, "Aslan's always harping on about them."
"Hey, hey, wait a minute!" RoxorLoops yelled, "We're not the ones who Aslan is constantly guarding all the time!"
"That's true," Daria said, "3Js... I think you recognise what needs to be done."
"What?!" Jan yelled, "Us?!"
"I'll do it," Vlatko said, "For fuck sake."
"But, but," Poli said, "Vlatko! No! You can't, this Narnia garbage, it's not real, none of it... come on Vlatko... please..."
"Now listen Poli, you said yourself that you are even skeptical about our little Digimon adventure back in the Netherlands, and we all know for a fact that that definitely happened... and, listen here Poli, I must be in on the 3Js 'bizzare fantasy' because I myself saw Reepicheep back at Skopje Fest, and I know about Narnia."
"There's something wrong with you people!" Poli yelled, "Please no, you can't be considering this!"
"I have to do this Poli," Vlatko said, "But don't worry, I'll be back."
Vlatko then stood up and left the green room.
"No, Vlatko!" Poli shouted after him.
"What the fuck!" Lex yelled as he saw Vlatko walk out of the green room and onto the stage, "What the hell are you doing coming out here?! You wanna be shot or what?!"
Lex waved his electric gun around as Dew Drop and Candy Cane laughed.
"Get back into the green room or you will really see Flemish power!" said Candy Cane.
"No!" yelled Vlatko, "Come on then, you Flemish losers!"
Dew Drop then fired his electric gun at Vlatko, and a bright light flashed and disappeared. When it disappeared, Vlatko was no longer there, only the three Flemish seperatists were standing on the stage, laughing to themselves.
"Hahahaha," Dew Drop said, "Excellent..."
"Great work, Dew Drop," said Candy Cane, "Great work, we're getting even closer to Greater Flanders with every minute..."
"Yeah, we were partly funded by Greece," Lex said, "And you know that they hate Macedonia, right? So we probably would have shot him anyway. We are also partly funded by the IRA, so I guess we've got to shoot Jedward too, huh?"
"Yeah," said Dew Drop, "If I were the IRA I would consider Jedward a huge insult to all of Ireland!"
"Agreed," said Candy Cane, "But remember we can't forget about those vile Walloons and the eternal Flemish traitor of Witloof Bay!"
"Of course," Lex said, "We will dispose of them... yes... our revenge against the Eurovision will finally be complete... and then we will be back on the road to Greater Flanders!"
And then the Flemish seperatists suddenly ran in to the green room and shot Jedward with their electric guns as well.
"Ahahahaha," laughed Lex, "This Eurovision contest is no match for us!"
Vlatko woke up in a strange place. He looked around and there were flowers springing up from the grass and trees all around. He looked in the distance and saw Aslan, the great lion of Narnia, standing by his mouse friend Reepicheep. There was a TV in front of them.
Vlatko walked over to them.
"Vlatko?" Reepicheep asked.
"Aslan, Aslan!" Vlatko said, "The Eurovision is in great danger!"
"I know, Vlatko," said Aslan, "Your ascension to here shows your true courage... no one has ever ascended without my help before... this shows a great hidden power..."
Aslan then turned to Vlatko.
"I shall solve the problems of the Eurovision, and eliminate the enemies of the glorious song contest," Aslan smiled, "Thank you, Vlatko."
Aslan then disappeared in a flash of blue light.
"Don't worry Vlatko," said Reepicheep, "Aslan will save the Eurovision! He's good at that sort of thing, you see."
Suddenly, two bright lights appeared and when they faded, Jedward were standing there.
"Oh no," Reepicheep laughed.
"Wow, what's this place?" John said.
"It's totally cool!" said Edward, "Wow!"
"Cool beans!" came a voice from the distance and a man ran over to them.
"Oh my, Tose Proeski!" yelled Vlatko.
"Yes," said Tose, "I saw you on the Eurovision, Vlatko, you were very good! You did all of Macedonia proud! But we also saw the weird stuff going on..."
"Yes, we did. We saw what happened on the TV..." Reepicheep said sadly, "About the Eurovision... and the Flemish seperatists..."
"Yes, it's pretty bad back there," Vlatko said, "I only hope that now that Aslan is there, the madness will stop."
Meanwhile, Dino saw another Eurovision CD on the floor. He reached out for it when suddenly, Lex grabbed it from him and pointed his gun at him.
"Looking for something, Dino?" Lex laughed, as he dropped the Eurovision CD to the ground and stamped on it.
"It's too bad," a voice growled as the great lion of Narnia appeared in the green room, "That I don't need a CD to tell me when my Eurovision entrants are in danger."
"What the fu-" Lex began, as Aslan hit him with his paw and Lex went flying across the room, flying out of the door and hitting the stage, falling in the center. Candy Cane and Dew Drop saw what had happened, and saw Aslan coming out of the green room. They jumped off the stage, and fell to the floor.
Suddenly, the Dusseldorf Police, seeing that the seperatists were now on the floor, moved closer and put handcuffs on all of them. Aslan ran back into the green room, seeing that the police were dealing with it.
"Hey, wait a minute," Poli said, "Where's Vlatko? Bring him back!"
"Ah, yes," Aslan smiled, "You can have him back."
And so a bright light appeared and Vlatko was standing next to Poli.
"Oh, hey everyone!" Vlatko smiled, "Hey Aslan!"
"Hey Vlatko," Aslan said.
"So?" Vlatko asked, "What happened?"
"We defeated the Flemish seperatists! The police are dealing with it now, Vlatko," Aslan smiled.
"That makes a change," Vlatko said, "The police doing something for once."
"Well, it's the Eurovision," Lena said, "Everyone wants to protect it... even the police."
"They didn't respond to our god damn phone calls!" yelled RoxorLoops.
"Depends on the officer you get," said Vlatko, "Some of them love everything about the Eurovision, some of them don't. Anyway, thanks for bringing me back, Aslan!"
"You're welcome. I thought it was appropriate, it's not your time yet, Vlatko," said Aslan, "You still have a variety of adventures ahead of you. We all do."
"We don't want Jedward back though," Lee Ryan smirked.
"Well tough because I don't want them either!" Aslan laughed as another bright light appeared and Jedward were back in the room.
"Yuck," Daria said, "I bet Ireland were already celebrating, now you've just upset them."
"We're back, yay!" John shouted.
"Jedward are back in the building," Edward said, "Yeah! Everyone loves Jedward!"
"Hates, more like," Daria muttered.
Aslan then turned to Poli.
"Aslan...?" Poli asked.
"So, I hear you don't believe in me, Poli... I saw the things you said," Aslan said, looking at Poli.
"Oh... Aslan... I..." Poli said sadly, before running up and hugging Aslan, "Oh Aslan! How could I have been so foolish!"
"It is ok my child," Aslan smiled, "Doubt is in all our minds at some stage. It only takes faith to believe, but it is hard to believe in that which you have not yet seen for yourself. But now that you have seen me, we will both be on this path of Eurovision together, agreed?"
"Agreed," Poli smiled.
"Well, I guess that wraps things up here," Aslan smiled, "Now, time to see who won the Eurovision Song Contest 2011!"
And so the three hosts walked back onto the stage.
"Well uh..." Stefan said, "I uh... don't know quite what to make of that... are you guys alright back there?"
"Yes!" Lena shouted from the green room, "Everything's fine now!"
"Well, good," Anke smiled, "We... uh... we are truly sorry for that disturbance. The Dusseldorf security team are all over it, we shall make sure that nothing like this ever happens in the Eurovision Song Contest ever again!"
"Luckily," said Judith, "No one was harmed during that Flemish outburst, and so we can continue with the Eurovision Song Contest. Would you guys like that?"
The crowd cheered and clapped, and shouts of 'We love Eurovision' came from the crowd
"Excellent!" Stefan smiled, "So, without further ado, let's begin the voting!"
And so all the countries voted for their favourite songs.
All the people who would be presenting the votes got ready. There were a few Eurovision related people doing the votes as well. Dima Bilan was doing the votes for Russia, and the new King of Sweden, Danny Saucedo, was doing the votes for Sweden.
A while later, and all the votes for the Eurovision Song Contest were counted. The jury and telephone votes were added together, and the final scores then displayed on the screen.
"And the winner is..." Stefan said, "It's Azerbaijan! Congratulations! Ell, Nikki, come out on to the stage please!"
And so Ell and Nikki ran out onto the stage.
"We won! We won!" Ell yelled, "Azerbaijan loves Germany!"
"We are the winners! Thank you Germany!" Nikki yelled, "Thank you!"
"You're both very welcome," Stefan said, "Germany loves you too! A big round of applause for our winners, everyone!"
The croud clapped and cheered, as confetti fell down from the ceiling, and Ell and Nikki performed their winning Eurovision song 'Running Scared', pleased that they had won Europe's biggest song contest.
Lena looked down at the paper in her hands. It was the voting results for Eurovision. She was very happy with her result, and even happier that she had got to appear on the Eurovision once again.
3Js and Sieneke were sitting in the Dutch corner of the hotel.
"Hello Lena," Jan said, "What is that you are holding there?"
"Oh," Lena said, "It's the results, for the semi finals!"
"Come on then Lena," said Jaap de Witte, "How did we do? We got 11th, right? 11th?"
"Netherlands... uh..." Lena said, looking down at the sheet.
"What, what is it?" Jan asked.
"Well... you guys were last, 19th place, with only 13 points... 8 from Belgium, and 5 from Bulgaria... but... I guess that is to be expected, the Netherlands is the most hated country in the world, of course."
"Oh gee, well, thanks I guess, Belgium," Jaap Kwakman said.
"You're welcome!" RoxorLoops smiled, "And hey, don't moan about it, how many did the Netherlands give to us, Lena?"
"Uhh... let's see... the Netherlands only gave you 6 points."
"Six!" Nicolas yelled, "Only six?! Booo Netherlands, boooo!"
"Wait a second... how in the hell did Belgium vote?!" Jan said, "Everything was blown up there, I saw it on the news! And now it's all sealed behind the barrier!"
"Well, I think they found a Belgian jury and just voted based on that," Lena said, "I expect Belgium won't be in the Eurovision next year."
"Gee," said Nicolas, "Looks like we are the last Belgian Eurovision entry ever then."
"But wait," Lena said, "There's more!"
"More? Who was 11th?" Jan asked.
"See, that's the thing," Lena said, "Witloof Bay were 11th. In fact, they were only one point away from reaching the finals!"
"Wow, that's awesome!" RoxorLoops smiled.
"Eh, I guess it was a pity vote because of the Belgian Civil War," said Jaap Kwakman, "Just like the Icelandic band got the pity vote."
"Ha, don't say that, they'll beat you up like they did Mika Newton," Lena laughed.
Sieneke walked over to them.
"Oh em gee you guys!" Sieneke said, "I heard about what happened yesterday! Well, that is to say I saw it from the audience and I was all like, oh em eff gee! Like, that was totally not cool! You guys should like, be more careful!"
"More careful?!" Lena asked, "Sadly Sieneke, I'm not sure if that's possible. I wonder if there will always be threats against the Eurovision Song Contest, but I hope that there won't. Besides, we always have Aslan and Reepicheep watching over us and protecting us."
"Oh, yes!" Sieneke smiled, happy at the mention of Aslan and Reepicheep.
Blue then walked over to them, with Terry Wogan and Josh Dubovie.
"Blue!" Lena said, "Congrats!"
"Yes, congrats," Sieneke said, before seeing Terry Wogan, "And... Terry Wogan! Josh! Oh no!"
"Sieneke," Terry said, "I am not here to review the past with you. I have already spoke to Lena and the others about this. As you know, the events of last night threatened the Eurovision immensely... I wonder if Azerbaijan would even want to host such a volatile contest... but you see... Winston... he was the one who gave the animals to Jon Ola Sand..."
"We know," Lena said, "Me and Blue found it written in a diary that Winston gave him your location, that's where we found the plans that he would try to kill the Eurovision entrants..."
Suddenly, Winston ran into the room.
"A-ha! Euro-loving fools! Did we fail... did we fail at Eurovision?!" Winston snarled.
"We got 11th, you double-crossing fool," Terry said, "Nice, huh?! Here are the winners, Ell and Nikki, from Azerbaijan!"
"Hello there!" Ell smiled, "We are the winners!"
"No," Winston growled, "The only way to win Eurovision is not to enter this travesty in the first place..."
And so Winston got out a gun from his pocket.
"A real shame, that the Flemish seperatists and Ola Sand couldn't dispose of you all, I even gave them all the information they needed, but I digress..."
"Winston," Josh said, "Stop, I used to think like you once, but-"
"Shut the fuck up Dubovie!" Winston yelled, aiming his gun at Ell and Nikki, "You are a traitor just like Wogan is! Eurovision must be stopped at all costs! Now then, let's start with the winners."
"Oh no!" yelled Ell and Nikki at the same time.
Winston fell to the floor.
"Oh shit," Nikki yelled, "What was that?"
"It was me," said a voice from the shadows, and Stella Mwangi stepped out, and she was holding a gun.
"Stella?!" Lena asked.
"Stella!!!" Ell yelled, "But, why?"
"I'm afraid I am the only one who is allowed to threaten the Eurovision entrants around here," she smiled.
"Thank you," Nikki said.
"You're very welcome," Stella said, "I hate Brits anyway."
"Oh well," Terry said, "Thanks a lot."
Suddenly, the great lion of Narnia appeared and smiled. Reepicheep was sitting on top of him.
"Reepicheep!" Sieneke yelled.
"Sieneke," Reepicheep smiled happily.
"That was a job well done, Stella," Aslan smiled, "But now, it is time for me to reveal Winston's true form..."
"No, Aslan..." Winston said.
"He... knows you?!" Reepicheep asked, "Aslan what is this?!"
"I will show you..." Aslan said sadly, and he used his powers to make a light glow around Winston, and when it faded it revealed that Winston is actually...
"Prince Caspian!?" Reepicheep yelled, shocked.
"What the hell?!" Jan yelled, "Prince Caspian!"
"Yes, it is him," Aslan said, "The shame of Narnia, how dare you threaten Eurovision, Caspian. You are not worthy of your title 'Prince' which you bestowed upon yourself, it is hereby removed. Why would you even dare to attack a programme with as much prestige as the Eurovision?!"
"Well you know what, I had to do it!" Winston yelled, "You and the fucking Eurovision Song Contest... you made me do it! Your obsession with Eurovision has gone too far Aslan! I needed to put an end to this madness... once and for all!"
"Silence, fool!" Aslan yelled, "You will be banished to the Underworld with Queen Jadis and Nikabrik, I assure that you will find it a Eurovision-less place."
"Fuck you Aslan," yelled Winston, "I am Prince Caspian! You can't do that to me!"
"I just can't believe that... Prince Caspian..." Reepicheep whispered sadly.
"Shut your trap, mouse!" Winston shouted, "Eurovision is nothing but a ridiculous pile of lies and sick propaganda that is perpetrated by Aslan, the great fool of Narnia!"
"Get rid of him," Terry said, "He's done nothing but be a menace to the Eurovision Song Contest..."
"Of course," Aslan smiled, as Winston disappeared in a flash of light, "There, he is gone. You guys won't be bothered by him any more, I promise."
"Good," Lena said, "Finally we can have the Eurovision Song Contest in peace!"
"Do not be fooled Lena," Aslan said, "There are many people who are enemies to the Eurovision Song Contest. It is up to us to stop them at all costs. The threats to the Eurovision are not over yet, but together we can stop them from damaging Europe's favourite TV show."
"I... I understand, Aslan," Lena said.
"Good," Aslan smiled, "Together, we can do anything, and the Eurovision will always prevail."
"Well then, I guess that just about wraps up this Eurovision final!" Reepicheep smiled.
"It sure does!" Sieneke smiled, as Reepicheep and Sieneke walked off together.
"Wow, those two sure are happy together," Jan said.
"Yes," Aslan smiled, "It warms my heart to see those two together. Despite what Reepicheep says about the Eurovision, he does actually like it, and he tries to keep it a secret, badly. Unlike Prince Caspian, whose soul is only filled with hatred of the Eurovision. A more wicked soul I have never known."
"I'm so confused," Poli said, sadly.
"Looks like the world isn't a two dimensional as you once thought," Vlatko smiled, "Aslan has always been there, you see, watching over us. That's why I went to Aslan's Country, I knew nothing bad could possibly happen. You see Poli, we must trust in Aslan!"
"Thank you, Vlatko. I will now set off what I like to call a 'peace bubble'," Aslan smiled, "It will be temporary, but it will make the world slightly more peaceful while it is in effect. Purely because I feel you all need a break from fighting bad guys for a while."
And so Aslan glowed a slight purple light. After the light faded, Aslan said, "There, all done."
"Ah, I see," Lena smiled, "Thank you, Aslan!"
"Yes," Dino said, "Thank you Aslan!"
"You're all very welcome," Aslan smiled, as Sieneke and Reepicheep walked back into the room.
"Tee hee hee hee," the two of them were both laughing.
"Awww, how sweet," Aslan smiled, "But for now it is time to go."
"Oh, but Aslan!!!" Reepicheep said, "Please, can't I just please stay a little longer?"
"Hey, why don't I come with you guys?" Sieneke smiled, "I've just moved in to my own house so I could come and live with you guys instead!"
"Woah, that's a great idea! Will you allow that Aslan?" Reepicheep asked.
"Of course, anything for a Eurovision entrant," Aslan smiled.
"Come with us Sieneke, come to Aslan's Country," Reepicheep smiled, "Come on, please?!"
"Of course I will come with you!" Sieneke smiled.
"Perfect," Aslan said, "We are sure you will feel at home with us."
"Yippee!" Sieneke smiled.
And so Aslan, Reepicheep and Sieneke vanished in a flash of light.
"Aw man," Vlatko said, "I wanted to stay in Aslan's Country too. You guys, you should have been there, it makes you feel amazing."
"Yeah," said John, "It was very good."
"Aslan's Country is great," said Edward.
"Aslan's Country is perfect," said Jaap de Witte, "I'm sure all my bandmates will agree."
"We do!" Jan said, "It was the greatest place I have ever been too..."
"To tell you the truth I can't wait to go back," Jaap Kwakman said, "Aslan sure is cool!"
"Wow," Lena smiled, "I can't wait until we all get there. We can have a big Eurovision reunion party up in Aslan's Country."
And so that was the end of that. The Eurovision was broadcast widely in the news, as it was an event that many people had been waiting for, and the short siege of the Eurovision by Jon Ola Sand and the Flemish seperatists became the most talked about thing in the news, and videos of the siege became the most viewed videos on Youtube. And so life went on as usual, with the Eurovision at the forefront of everything. All of the Eurovision entrants were celebrated, even the non-qualifiers, and the broadcasters regretted their decision to work with Jon Ola Sand, who ultimately could have ruined the Eurovision Song Contest forever. Aslan's role in the Eurovision was also widely talked about, there was film of Aslan hitting the Flemish seperatist, but only the Eurovision entrants know the true meaning behind the film. Everyone else simply assumed that it was one of Jon Ola Sand's animals that he was controlling and that maybe it had escaped and went on a rampage. The audience were just thankful that Aslan hadn't jumped into the crowd. And nearly everyone was thankful that the plot to destroy and fix the results of the Eurovision had been halted in its tracks.
A few weeks later, Vlatko was standing on the streets of Skopje with Kunemon, looking over at the trees in the distance.
"Maybe I shouldn't have come to the Eurovision with you after all," Kunemon smiled, "I wasn't much use."
"Come on Kunemon," said Vlatko, "You were great!"
"If you say so, boss," Kunemon smiled.
Suddenly, a bright light appeared and Aslan was standing next to them.
"Aslan!" Vlatko yelled.
"Yes, hello Vlatko," said Aslan, "It's good to see you again."
"You too, Aslan!" Vlatko smiled.
"Here, Vlatko," Aslan said, "This is something I should have done a long time ago..."
And suddenly, a bright light appeared, and Frigimon was standing there.
"Frigimon!!" Vlatko yelled, "You're back!!!!"
"I am..." smiled Frigimon, "Hello, Vlatko..."
"We all missed you so much Frigimon!" Vlatko yelled, as he hugged Frigimon.
"Oh Frigimon!" yelled Kunemon, "We're so glad you're back!"
Frigimon then de-digivolved into his smaller form, the small white seal Digimon, Gomamon.
"Oh, now he's smaller, too," laughed Kunemon.
"Yup," Gomamon said, "I know it'll be a bit of a problem walking around the streets of Macedonia with a Frigimon, so now I'm a Gomamon!"
"Thank you, Aslan," Vlatko said, "For all of this..."
"No problem," Aslan smiled, "Any time you need anything, I'll be there. Goodbye Vlatko, Kunemon, Frigimon..."
And with that Aslan disappeared, leaving Vlatko and his digimon standing on the street.
The date was now July 14th, 2011. Bastille Day. Two months had passed since the Eurovision final, and yet it was still a big topic, talked about in all of the media.
Fireworks lit up the sky over France, and all of France's past Eurovision entrants were there, looking up at the bright lights that illuminated the dark Parisian sky. Even Les Fatals Picards were there, as Sarkozy had granted them a reprieve, they could move back to France from Switzerland without fear of public attacks like in the past. The public were much more peaceful now, and the 2011 entrants all knew it had something to do with Aslan's mysterious peace bubble.
And, speaking of 2011 entrants, there, standing next to the French Eurovision entrants were Witloof Bay, celebrating Bastille Day in the French capital.
And Reepicheep watched from the distance, smiling as he saw them celebrate.
Reepicheep chuckled to himself, thinking about how much Aslan loved Witloof Bay, before he then turned from the celebrations, and stepped into a portal that he had placed nearby, there was one more place he needed to go.
The portal disappeared and there was no evidence that Reepicheep had been there at all.
Reepicheep was now in the Netherlands. He had teleported there along with Sieneke. Aslan had helped them to teleport.
They walked into the building in front of them.
"Now Sieneke," said Reepicheep, "You're sure this is the 3Js studio?"
"I'm sure, I'm sure, for the last time, Reepicheep," Sieneke smiled, "Besides, Aslan even said it is!"
And so the two of them walked into the building and found the 3Js looking back at them.
"Oh, hey there Reepicheep!" Jan said, "Hey Sieneke!"
"Hey guys," Reepicheep said.
"Hi everyone, we've both come here for a little while," Sieneke smiled, "Just to see how everyone is getting on with things since the Eurovision."
"Well, things have been going great!" said Jaap Kwakman, "Despite getting the last place in the semi finals, things are still great here in the Netherlands."
"Yeah, things are still the same," said Jaap de Witte, "I'm not sure if people here really care about Eurovision."
"You're kidding, right?" Reepicheep said, "Everyone cares about Eurovision."
"I know, Eurovision makes the world go round!" said Sieneke.
"Eh, whatever you two say," said Jaap de Witte, "I'm sure everyone loves Eurovision in their own special way..."
"Here Reepicheep," Jan said, as he picked up a package on the counter and handed it to Reepicheep. Jan opened it a little and showed Reepicheep that it contained cheese.
"For me?" Reepicheep asked, taking the cheese from Jan.
"Well, mice like cheese, don't they?" Jan smiled.
"Ha, strange," Reepicheep laughed, "I always thought it was the Dutch who liked cheese."
"What's wrong?" said Jaap Kwakman, "Our little mouse friend likes Eurovision more than cheese?"
"It appears so," Jan laughed.
"I love Eurovision," Reepicheep smiled, "But I'll take the cheese as well."
"Great," Jan said, "We're glad you two showed up!"
"Oh, us two Jan, us two!" Sieneke smiled.
"Yeah, we're glad to come here!" Reepicheep smiled, "It's a beautiful place this, the Netherlands."
"It sure is Reepicheep," said Sieneke, "It sure is..."
--Two days later--
Lena was looking out across at the Brandenburg Gate in Germany. It was a symbol of German re-unificaton, and a symbol of the strength of Germany. She thought back to the Eurovision. The Eurovision adventure had brought Lena very far, no one had predicted that the Eurovision Song Contest, of all things, could have become so popular.
"Hello, Lena," a voice came from behind her and she spun around. It was Aslan.
"Oh, hello Aslan!" Lena smiled, "It's great to see you again..."
"It's great to see you too Lena!" Aslan said.
"Thank you Aslan," Lena said, "You know, I really enjoyed the Eurovision, despite all the wacky hijinks we seem to get up to!"
"Ah, yes, I too loved the Eurovision, and you should know that it wouldn't have been complete without you. You did great in the Eurovision Lena," Aslan smiled, "Like you did the year before that too."
"Awwww, thanks, Aslan," Lena said happily.
"I'd give you my phone number or something... but... as you can probably imagine, I don't really do that," Aslan smiled, and then Lena noticed that Aslan was holding something in his paw.
"What... what is that?" Lena asked, pointing to the object.
Aslan smiled, revealing a CD in a case.
"Well, it's the Eurovision 2011 CD, of course. Lena, if you ever, ever need me, just click on Love In Rewind, and play it... in rewind. It will lead me to you. Feel free to pass that information on to the other Eurovision entrants, although I guess the 2011 ones already know. But you can tell the 2010 bunch, I know how much you loved 2010."
"Thanks, I will."
"Thank you, Lena."
"Aw, thank you too Aslan," Lena smiled, moving closer to the great lion of Narnia and hugging him.
The two of them looked, the sun was setting in the sky.
"I guess, this is goodbye then," Lena said.
"No Lena, this is not goodbye," Aslan smiled, "We will meet again, but until then, adieu, my little satellite."
"Goodbye Aslan," Lena waved, "We'll never ever forget you."
"And I'll never forget you," Aslan said, before he disappeared in a puff of blue smoke, leaving Lena standing in the field by herself, still clutching the Eurovision CD.
"Thank you for everything, Aslan," Lena whispered to herself, looking back to the Brandenburg Gate as snow softly fell over all of Berlin.