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Skopje Fest


 

A small machine drifted along the River Thames. It had been drifting across the water ever since Gottschalk had thrown it into the River Rhine.
Terry Wogan, the dictator of Britain, and Winston, Terry Wogan's right hand man, were standing at the edge of the river. The machine was washed up next to them by a small wave.
"What's that thing that came out of the water?" Winston asked, pointing at the small metal object on the floor by Terry's feet.
"Oh, I don't know, I'll see," Terry said and he bent over and picked the machine up.
"I think I know what this is..." Terry said, examining the machine, which had been undamaged by the water, "For a machine to be undamaged by water like this... it must be one of Gottschalk's creations... what if this is that machine that brought the Digimon out of the computer and into the Netherlands?!"
"What if I can use it... Terry, do you know if any Eurovision selections are coming up?!"
"Well... Macedonia are holding their Eurovision selection in two days... it's called 'Skopje Fest', I believe."
"Skopje Fest, eh?" Winston laughed as he spoke, "Well then, I believe it is time for yet another of my brilliant plans! I will stop this horrendous Eurovision song contest once and for all!"
Terry smiled.
"You hate the Eurovision a lot... and I respect that," he said, "Together, we can stop this madness once and for all, one national final at a time! Winston, can you get to Skopje?
"Yes, yes I can."
"Good, go, get that Dutch army uniform I stole from the Netherlands, if it all goes wrong, dump it somewhere and we can blame this on the Netherlands! We will be sure to turn this ‘Skopje Fest’ into a real slaughter fest! Ahahahahahaha!"
They both laughed evilly, content with their plans.
----
It was now two days later and it was the day Skopje Fest would be taking place. Gjoko Taneski was standing on the sidewalk, looking around for his friends Billy and Pejcin.
"Yo! Yo Gjoko! What you standing out here in the street for? We gotta get to Skopje Fest!" Billy Zver shouted, running over to him.
"Oh, hey Billy, yeah, I was just on my way to Skopje Fest, in fact," Gjoko smiled, "Have you seen Pejcin?"
"Here I am!" shouted a voice from the distance. It was Pejcin and he ran over to them.
"Hey, hey fish!" shouts where coming from the distance, "Fish we love you!"
"Fish?" Pejcin asked, "Who the hell is fish?!"
"It's Gjoko," Billy said.
"Erm, ok... and why is everyone calling Gjoko 'fish'?" Pejcin asked.
"Oh it's because of some interview. Someone asked him about that Ohrid place, and you know what he said to that?" Billy asked, "He said something like 'Well cos I live near the Ohrid Lake, I feel like a fish sometimes too'. What the hell sort of answer is that?"
"Weird..." Pejcin said, "I thought it had something to do with the magikarp."
"Well, that too," Billy replied.
"Magikarp is a gyrados now," Gjoko said.
"That's good to know, fish," Billy smiled.
"Oh shut up Billy," Gjoko said, "Come on, cut out the fish talk, the Skopje Fest building is this way!"
And they all followed Gjoko down the road.
The three of them were now standing outside of the Univerzalna Sala, the Macedonian music hall where the Skopje Fest 2011 would be held.
A man in a chicken suit came out to greet them.
"Hey," Gjoko said, "That must be Rok Agresori!"
"Hmmm... I know that name... wasn't he on Skopje Fest last time?" Billy asked.
"Uhm... he might have been," Pejcin said, "I think so..."
"No, no, he wasn't," Gjoko said, "He was on in 2009, but not last year. I think his song was called 'Ding Dong' or something."
"Yes that's right! Hello there," said the man in the chicken suit, "I'm Falus Agresor!"
"Nice to meet you," Gjoko said, "I'm Gjoko Taneski!"
"Oh, from last year!" Falus said, "I liked that one."
"Thanks," Gjoko smiled.
"Well, we best be getting in, before Skopje Fest finishes," Billy said.
"Quiet Billy," Pejcin said, "It hasn't even begun yet."
And so the four of them went into the building.
---
Meanwhile, Winston was laughing to himself as he walked through the streets of Skopje, he looked across the road and saw the Univerzalna Sala in the distance.
"Perfect," Winston smiled, as he ran across the empty road, "Just perfect..."
He looked at the machine in his hands, and pressed a button.
Terry Wogan had rewired the machine to work with the PVR too, and now it could bring Pokemon into the real world.
“The island city of Skopje is in for a real shock,” Winston smirked.
The machine flashed with a faint light, and a screen on the machine lit up. It was connected to the PVR network through a nearby wireless internet connection. The internet was much faster these days, everything was pretty much instant, especially where the PVR was concerned.
"Now, for a little test..." Winston said, and he saw a list of accounts on the PVR pop up on the machine.
"Now... what was the Macedonian guy called last year... ah yes, Gjoko something or other," and so Winston typed 'Gjoko' in the machine and Gjoko's PVR account popped up. It listed a pikachu and a gyrados as belonging to the account.
"Sweet," Winston said, "Time to put this gyrados into the Skopje Fest building!"
And with that, Winston hit 'export' and a light glowed around the machine. He looked through the window of the Skopje Fest building, and a blue light lit up the room inside. When it faded, Gjoko's gyrados was sitting there.
"Gyra, gyrados!" it said.
"Perfect!" Winston laughed, "Time to make more Pokemon in Macedonia!"
And Winston tried to find another huge pokemon to put into the Univerzalna Sala but he was greeted with a message that read 'Machine needs recharging.'
"Damn it!" Winston yelled, "Recharging?! This thing didn't come with a charger! How in the hell am I meant to charge it?!"
His mobile phone started ringing. He answered it and it was Terry Wogan.
"Hey," Terry said, "Have you used the machine yet?"
"Yeah, I got a big pokemon here, but now the machine needs recharging."
"Ok, drop the machine and the jacket, and come back to Britain, we need you here, also, we don't want Britain to get the blame for any of this."
"Ah well, this will hopefully be enough to destroy Macedonia... and as a bonus we get to incriminate the Netherlands."
And so Winston hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. He then took off his jacket he had been wearing, which was a Dutch army uniform, dropped it on the floor, dropped the machine on top of it, and then ran off down the road.
----
Meanwhile, Gjoko, Pejcin and Billy were in the room which had been flooded by blue light.
"Shit, what was that?" Billy said, getting up from the floor.
They all turned around and saw a giant blue Pokemon looming over them.
"Guys," Gjoko said, "It's Gyrados! What the hell!!?"
"What the hell have you done Gjoko!" Pejcin yelled, jumping up from his seat.
"I didn't do anything!" Gjoko yelled, "I swear!"
"How do you even know that it is your gyrados?" Billy asked, "There are lots of gyrados's in the PVR, you know."
"Gyra! Gyrados!" the gyrados yelled.
"I can tell it's mine," Gjoko said, "Here, watch this... come here, Gyrados!"
And so the gyrados slithered over to Gjoko.
"See?" Gjoko smiled, "It's my gyrados, alright. Gyrados takes commands only from me."
----
Meanwhile, Rok Agresori had just finished their song, 'Kukuriku', and the audience clapped as Falus walked off the stage and into the room where Gjoko was.
"Hey guys," Falus said, "Is this the green room?"
"No it bloody well isn't!" Billy yelled, trying to get rid of Falus before he saw Gyrados, "Now get out!"
But it was too late and Falus saw the serpent-like blue pokemon sitting in the corner of the room.
"Holy crap what is that thing?!" Falus said, looking up at the giant blue pokemon.
"Rok, this is Gyrados," Gjoko said, "Gyrados, this is Rok."
"We don't know how it's gotten here..." Pejcin said.
The gyrados then turned and started to bite through the wires that connected to the microphones of the main stage.
“Gyrados no!!!” Gjoko yelled, “Stop that, we need those! Stop it! Skopje Fest needs those wires!!!”
But the gyrados ignored him and continued to bite the wires.
The sound from the Skopje Fest stage became slightly distorted as the speakers were affected by the gyrados chomping on the wires.
Emilija and Andrei’s song, ‘Paranoja’ was being affected by the gyrados chewing the wires and the audience had no idea why the sound was being affected.
Then Falus jumped in front of the gyrados.
“Stop it! You’re ruining Skopje Fest!” he yelled, and the gyrados stopped.
“Oh no! What is Rok Agresori doing?!” Pejcin yelled.
“Yeah, stop that!” Gjoko said, “Everyone knows that water pokemon hate chickens!”
“Ok, well first of all Gjoko, that is ridiculous,” Falus said, “And secondly, even if that was the case, I am not a chicken. I am simply dressed in a chicken costume. Now, if you’ll excuse me-“
Suddenly, the gyrados roared loudly and moved its tail in Falus’s direction.
Falus ran away from the gyrados, and the water pokemon began chasing him around the room.
“Aaaah! Gjoko make it stop!!!” Falus yelled.
“Gyrados!” Gjoko yelled,”Stop!”
The gyrados then stopped in the middle of the room, and turned to look at Gjoko.
“At least now that thing has stopped eating the wires,” Billy said, ”So at least Skopje Fest can continue as normal.”
“Normal?!” Falus yelled, “Normal?! What do you mean normal?! There’s a freaking pokemon sitting in our Eurovision preselection! This is not normal!!!”
Meanwhile, the host of Skopje Fest was in another backstage room, far away from the pokemon. He had no idea why the sound of Skopje Fest was being distorted, and was looking around the room for any sign of a disturbance. He saw nothing.
The host then came out onto the Skopje Fest stage and said, "Sorry about that, there were some technical difficulties during Emilija and Andrej's song, 'Paranoja', so they will be allowed to sing again at the end of the show.
"Hooray!" Emilija said.
"This is fantastic news!" Andrej said.
Martin Srbinoski’s song, ‘Ram Tam Tam’ was next, and the audience loved it.
Meanwhile, Vlatko Ilievski was wandering around the stadium. He had gotten lost and was walking around looking for the backstage room. He soon came to a door.
“Hmmm, this must be it,” Vlatko thought, as he opened the door and then walked into the room where the gyrados was.
"Hey, what are you four doing here- holy shit?!?!" Vlatko jumped at seeing the blue pokemon towering over him, "What... what... what the hell?!"
"Hey Vlatko," Gjoko said, "Sorry about Gyrados... we don't know how he got here... he came through from the PVR somehow. Maybe in a similar way to how that bird Digimon got into the Netherlands."
"Hmmm.... the Netherlands... that’s a thought... what if it's an evil plot by The Netherlands?!" Billy asked, "You know what they did in the Belgian Civil War! What if they want to destroy Macedonia too?! What if it's revenge for the Digimon thing?"
"Nonsense Billy!" Pejcin said, "Absolute nonsense! It must simply be a glitch in the game, that's all..."
"The PVR doesn't have glitches..." Vlatko said, "That doesn't make sense! It must be the Netherlands trying to get revenge!"
"We've got to get rid of it!" Falus said.
"But how?" Vlatko asked.
"I don't know, hit it or something?" Falus asked.
"No, be quiet chicken," Pejcin said.
"Hey, leave my gyrados alone," Gjoko said, "It's not his fault he's been zapped here!"
"Yeah, since when do we take orders from a chicken?!" Billy said.
"Oh yeah?" Falus said, "How about you three just go back where you came from- into obscurity!"
"Oooh snap," Vlatko said, "Well, guys, I'd love to just sit back and watch you four catfight, but I'll be on after these guys have finished," Vlatko looked over to the television in the room, which showed Offside performing their song on the stage, "So yeah, I must be off. I probably should have been in the other green room anyway. See ya."
"Bye Vlatko," Gjoko said, “Good luck.”
"Bye and thank you," Vlatko said as he left the room.
"Vlatko is the favourite to win, you know," Gjoko said.
"He was the favourite to win last year too," Falus said, "And yet you won."
"Yeah but, come on, Vlatko's got to win, he's been trying since 2009!" Gjoko said.
Next was the ultimate favourite of the night, Vlatko Ilievski with his song ‘Rusinka’. The song was about a Russian girl, so it was very popular in Macedonia, as Macedonia loves Russia. They love America too, which is why the PVR is so popular in Macedonia and also why the term ‘Echoes’ originated from there.
Vlatko performed his song, and then thanked the crowd, and the audience clapped. It was already clear that this would be the song to represent Macedonia in the Eurovision.
On afterwards was the last act, Vodolija, with the song ‘Ne vrakaj se’. After it was over the audience clapped again and the host came out onto the stage.
"Well, all the acts of Skopje Fest have now performed," the host smiled, "And now we will go and count the votes."
A few minutes later and the host came into the room where the gyrados was.
"Well, that went well, thanks for your time you guys. And now I must be off, because it's time to announce the results of Skopje F-" the host looked and saw Gjoko's gyrados towering above him, "Holy shit!!! What is that?!!!"
The host was so shocked that he dropped the piece of paper he was holding onto the floor, and the gyrados lowered it's head to the ground, scooped up the paper, and started chewing on it.
"Nooo!" the host yelled, "Those are the results for Skopje Fest!!!!"
"Gyra! Gyrados!" the gyrados said happily as it ate the only copy of the Skopje Fest results.
"No! Gyrados!!!" Gjoko shouted, "Put that down!!!"
"What is the meaning of this!!!!" the host yelled.
"I'm so sorry!" Gjoko yelled.
"That is Gjoko's gyrados," Billy said, "From the Pokemon PVR game... it's come out of the game somehow... we don't know how it got here!"
"Well," the host said, "This is an absolute disaster! Since Gjoko's gyrados has eaten all the results, that means we'll have to count them all again!"
"I'm sorry about-" Gjoko began.
"Quiet Gjoko, I don't want to hear your apologies. I'll now have to have Superhiks, Dragan and Femminem to keep the audience waiting while we count the votes again!!!"
"I am so so sorry-" Gjoko said.
"And what are we supposed to do about that giant Pokemon of yours, huh?" the host asked, "You know the oscars are going to be hosted here after Skopje Fest?! You've ruined it now! Ok, I'm off to the green room, you three must figure out how to get rid of that horrid Pokemon!"
And so the host left the room.
"Gyrados! You know you've done a bad thing!" Gjoko yelled.
The gyrados merely looked away.
Superhiks, Femminem and Dragan Mijalkovski were waiting in the nearby greenroom.
The host went over to the door that lead to the greenroom.
"Superhiks! Dragan! Femminem!" the host said, "We need you three to stall the audience while we count the votes again! We've been busy counting the votes all throughout the show, but then the results were destroyed, so it could take a while... ok?"
"Alright," Dragan said, "We'll do it, right guys?"
All of Femminem and Superhiks nodded.
“We will do our duty to Macedonia!” said Noran from Superhiks.
The Macedonian band Next Time were seated in the audience, and they looked around and were shocked to find a lot of the seats were empty now.
A lot of the audience had left the Skopje Fest, they were annoyed by the sound problems and the fact that it was taking such a long time to collect the results. They did not know that these problems had in fact been caused by Gjoko Taneski’s pokemon.
---
Femminem were on the stage now, singing their songs to the remaining audience.
"Come on Skopje! Let's get wild!" Nika yelled.
Next Time were still in their seats, clapping for Femminem.
Soon, Femminem left the stage, and the few people who remained in the audience clapped.
The next act were Superhiks, who went onto the stage.
Next Time were still clapping and cheering, while the rest of the audience gave a muted applause.
---
“Look, you guys,” Vlatko said, “I’m going to have to go... you guys can deal with this problem by yourselves, right?”
“Oh... yeah...” Gjoko said, “Right, Rok?”
“My name isn’t-“ Falus began.
“Falus!” Vlatko yelled, “You have to come with me too! To the Skopje Fest results ceremony! You three, don’t let that pokemon ruin anything now! Keep it contained!”
And so Vlatko and Falus left the room to stand with the other Skopje Fest entrants on stage.
“And now,” the host said,”It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the Skopje Fest results!”
The remaining audience cheered and clapped.
“But before we reveal the winner, now it’s time for Elena Risteka to come out onto the stage and sing Ninanajna!”
“Oh for fuck sake!” yelled Stefan Filipovski, “Just do the results already!”
---
And so Elena sung her song.
“Thank you Skopje!” Elena smiled.
“And thank you very much Elena, said the host, “And now, the winner of Skopje Fest is...”
Silence fell over the audience.
"It’s Vlatko Ilievski! You win, Vlatko!" the host said, "The people of Macedonia have decided! We love Rusinka!"
“Thank you, thank you very much,” Vlatko smiled.
The audience clapped and Vlatko began to sing his song again.
The door of the green room where the pokemon was slowly swung open, and this caught the attention of the gyrados.
The gyrados was drawn to the noise and flashing lights of the stage, and, in an instant, had slithered away from the green room and was now on the stage with Vlatko.
The remaining audience screamed.
"Yeah ladies, I know I'm awesome, but come on now," Vlatko smiled.
"No!!!" Dragan yelled from the audience, "Look out! It's a pokemon! Behind you!!!"
Vlatko turned around to see the menacing blue pokemon, but it was too late, in one swoop the gyrados picked Vlatko up using its tail.
"Oh crap!!!" Vlatko yelled, "What is this?!?! No, you stupid pokemon, not now! Aaaah! Help!!!!"
Gjoko, Billy and Pejcin all ran out onto the stage to see the gyrados holding Vlatko with its tail.
“Gjoko!” Vlatko yelled, “Learn to control your god damn pokemon!”
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry,” Gjoko said, “Gyrados! Put Vlatko down!”
The gyrados growled, and it started to jump on the stage, making some of the stage break, and causing the pictures on the walls to fall down and smash.
“Put Vlatko down Gyrados!” Gjoko yelled, “Right now!”
“Gyra!!! Gyrados!” the gyrados yelled in defiance and it slithered over the empty audience seats and outside the door of the Univerzalna Sala, still clutching Vlatko in its tail.
“We’re in deep shit now, Gjoko,” Pejcin said.
“We?!” Billy asked, “What do you mean we? This crap is all Gjoko’s fault!”
“My fault?!” Gjoko said, “I didn’t do anything!”
“Yeah well it’s your pokemon, isn’t it?” Billy said.
Falus Agresor walked over to them.
"Guys, stop arguing, please. We should get outside help," Falus said, "International help, they could deal with Digimon, surely a Pokemon would be the same, right?"
“The Netherlands dealt with their own digimon problems,” Gjoko said, “It was 3Js, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Falus said, “And that Sieneke girl.”
“She’s nice, she was with us in the Eurovision 2010,” Gjoko said, “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, what if the world tries to seal us away like they did with the Netherlands?”
“Oh... yes...” Pejcin said, “What if the world treats us like they did the Netherlands... what if we’re sealed away like Belgium was?”
"No... no... they wouldn’t! It's different with us!” Falus said, “The Netherlands is the most hated country in Europe. We're not hated... are we?"
"We're hated by Greece," said Martin Srbinoski as he walked over to them, “That is a problem.”
“Greece isn’t the issue here,” Gjoko said.
“No, your fucking Pokemon is!” Billy yelled.
The other Skopje Fest entrants were now gathered around the conversation.
"Vlatko may be gone for now," Billy said, turning to look at Falus, "But I know who we can use for bait to lure the Gyrados back here..."
Everyone else turned to look at Falus too.
“Water pokemon hate chickens, remember?” Billy smiled.
"No, no, no come on you guys," Falus said, still trying to take off his chicken suit, "Come on, no. Please no, come on you guys, you can't be serious."
"Hmm, yes, I am serious, and I suppose we could get Rok to do it," Pejcin said, "What do you think, Rok?"
"My name is not Rok!!! For the last time!" Falus yelled, "And I'm not doing it!"
"Yes you are," the host of Skopje Fest said, "Vlatko is the winner of Skopje Fest, our new Eurovision entrant! We need him! We don't need you!"
"I don't care!" Falus yelled, "I'm not being bait for that horrid worm monster outside!"
"Rok, do it!" the host yelled, "Make those god damn chicken noises!"
“Do it!” Billy hissed.
"K..K...Kuku... kuku... r-riiikuuu...," Falus said, "K-k-kuku.... kukuriku..."
"Come on you guys, stop this madness. I know people in Skopje Zoo," Martin said, "I'm sure they'll give me a tranquiliser if I explain that there's an animal loose in Skopje... I'm not sure if it will work on a Pokemon, however. But we have to try something."
"Does that mean I don't have to be bait any more?" Falus asked.
"It sure does," Martin said, "Falus, come with me!"
And so Martin and Falus walked out of the building and ran off down the road.
The building started to creak a little.
“I think we should also be out of this building,” Pejcin said, and all they and all of the Skopje Fest entrants walked out of the building.
Now, three limosines were lined up outside the Univerzalna Sala, they were here for this year's Oscars. One of the limosines was filled with Oscar trophies, ready to be given out.
Even though the radiation from the explosions in America had been absorbed by Yusaki's barrier, and there was no threat there, there had been no attempt to restore America to its former glory. Most buildings in the country were still destroyed, no one lived there any more, and it was no place to hold such a huge international event. Due to the uninhabitable state of America, it was decided that the Oscars would be held in Macedonia, in the Univerzalna Sala, straight after Skopje Fest. It was a great idea, as Macedonia loved America and anything related to America, and Macedonia was a fairly empty country, with few inhabitants, meaning there would be plenty of room for the Oscars. However, with the drama now surrounding Skopje Fest, the people who ran the Oscars were growing increasingly concerned that the Oscars would have to be cancelled this year.
Martin and Falus were now in the nearby Macedonia Zoo.
"Oh hey Martin," the zookeeper said, "Who's the guy in the chicken suit?!!"
"Oh erm, it's for um, charity or something," Martin said, "Yeah, that's it. Anyway, I need a tranquiliser gun, we were in Skopje Fest and an animal is loose!"
"Errr... I can't just give you a tranquiliser gun Martin," the zookeeper said, "I know we're friends but it's not as easy as that..."
"But, but-"
"No Martin, what if you just want to get rid of competition in Skopje Fest? I can't give you that gun."
"Hey, there really is an animal running amok and it's already broken the Univerzalna Sala!" Falus said, "It's a Pokemon and it probably came through using the same technology that they used to make Digimon come through in the Netherlands! What if the world were to find out about this?! Hmm? Would they build a barrier around us and threaten to nuke us like they did the Netherlands? Hmm?"
"Oh my goodness! I'll get the tranquiliser gun," the zookeeper said, "We must protect Macedonia from threats such as those from the outside world... I believe you Martin."
“Thank you,” Martin said.
---
Martin and Falus ran out of Skopje Zoo, Martin now holding a tranquiliser gun, and they ran to where the Univerzalna Sala was, and where all the Skopje Fest entrants were waiting outside.
"Sorry we're late," Martin smiled.
The gyrados was nearby, shaking Vlatko all around the place.
"Guys help!!!" Vlatko yelled.
Billy looked at Martin.
"Just go and shoot it already!" Billy yelled.
"I can't just shoot it while it's holding Vlatko high like that," Martin replied, "If I shoot it now it might drop Vlatko, just have patience, it will be alright."
"Well... you could let it drop Vlatko," the host said, "Vlatko won Skopje Fest tonight, but if you let the gyrados dispose of him... well... let's just say you'll be our representative in the Eurovision instead of him..."
"What a horrible thing to suggest!" Martin yelled, "If I ever win Skopje Fest, it will be fair and square! Why in the hell would you even suggest that?!"
"Yeah, that was just low," Billy said, "Totally not sick, bro."
"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Gjoko said.
"Shut the hell up!" the host yelled, "It's your stupid worm pokemon that's destroying half the city!"
"It's not Gjoko's fault!" Martin said, "He didn't bring it here!"
"Well then we need to find out who did," Pejcin said.
The gyrados was now holding Vlatko close to the ground, and Martin slowly approached it.
"Martin!" Vlatko said.
"Vlatko, stay quiet," Martin said as he aimed his tranquiliser gun at the gyrados and fired.
The gyrados roared and dropped Vlatko onto the soft grass below.
“I don’t think that tranquiliser was enough to put it out,” Martin said, as Vlatko ran over to them.
“Who cares?” Falus asked, “We have Vlatko back now.”
“Guys! Guys!” Vlatko yelled, “Holy crap! Did you guys see that?!”
“We’re cancelling the Oscars!” some rich woman yelled as she walked past, “And we’re never ever coming back to Macedonia... ever again!”
And so all the rich Hollywood actors and actresses who were in Skopje for the Oscars now went back in their limos and drove off.
“No Oscars for us then...” Falus said.
"Gee, this would have been Macedonia's chance to shine," Gjoko said, "We've really messed this one up, haven't we?"
"No Gjoko," Billy said, "You've really messed this one up. It's your god damn Pokemon, after all."
“We’ve already been through this,” Gjoko said, “This isn’t my fault!”
"Well it's pretty close to being your fault," Vlatko said, "Why couldn't you control that thing anyway?"
“So,” Falus said, “You’re the winner of Skopje Fest, huh, Vlatko.”
“Yeah, I guess I am,” Vlatko smiled.
"Well," Martin said, "Congrats Vlatko."
"Ah, you're the reason I'm even here at all, thanks Martin," Vlatko said.
"Yeah, no thanks to Gjoko," Billy laughed.
"Hahaha," Martin laughed, "No thanks necessary, Vlatko."
Martin then went over and saw a machine on the floor, and the Dutch army uniform underneath it.
"It's a machine..." Martin said, holding the machine up and examining it, "There's something on the back about the PVR... no way... this must have been what was used to bring the gyrados here..."
Martin looked and saw that the machine was on top of an army uniform, and he picked that up too.
"And here's an army uniform... it must have been a soldier who did this..." Martin said.
"Not just any old army uniform..." Vlatko said, looking at the Dutch flag on the uniform, "It's Dutch. The Netherlands have done this..."
"The Netherlands?!" Pejcin asked, "Not Greece? The hell?!"
“Pejcin, we already had this discussion, of course it’s the Netherlands and not Greece,” Billy said, “The Netherlands are dangerous, no one can trust them.”
“But, but,” Pejcin said, “We don’t even have anything to do with the Netherlands...”
“Look what the Netherlands did to little Belgium! Little defenceless Belgium!” Falus yelled, “And you should know that they had nothing to do with the Netherlands either..."
"It was Flanders though, wasn't it?" Vlatko asked, "You know, they had something to do with the Netherlands. They teamed up against that other group... the Balloons or whatever they're called."
"Walloons, Vlatko," Falus corrected.
"Yeah well anyway, Belgium may have had something to do with it, but you know, in the Second World War Austria was the first country Germany took. They had something to do with Germany. But then they moved on to other countries that had nothing to do with them, like Poland and Czechoslovakia!" Billy yelled, "The Netherlands are truly dangerous! We must be on our guard against the Dutch!"
"Maybe I'll be able to use this machine to bring the creature back inside the PVR system," Gjoko said, ignoring everyone's rants about the Netherlands.
"Forget it Gjoko," Martin said, "It's broken... it needs recharging or something."
Suddenly, a piece of paper floated nearby, and Gjoko picked it up and opened it.
“What is it Gjoko?” Martin asked.
“It’s a list of the awards for the Oscars...” Gjoko said, reading the paper.
“Who won?” Pejcin asked.
“That movie about that king, ‘The King’s Speech’ has won nearly all of the awards,” Gjoko said.
“Oh I freaking hate that movie,” Vlatko said, “It was so dumb, and who cares about the British monarchy anyway? Isn’t Terry Wogan going to be getting rid of it?”
“Probably,” Falus said, “Probably soon the British monarchy will be a thing of the past... but that’s not important now, what is important is that we deal with this pokemon problem!”
“My gyrados is not a problem,” Gjoko said.
“Skopje Fest disagrees,” Vlatko said, “And I disagree. And Falus disagrees.”
“Who the flaming hell is Falus?!” Billy asked, and Falus glared at him.
“Anyway,” Vlatko said, “There must be something we can do. We cannot have this pokemon running loose around Skopje.”
Suddenly, the gyrados looked at a sign that read ‘Lake Ohrid’ and then looked at the road that lead to Lake Ohrid.
“Hmmm... you don’t want to go to Lake Ohrid... do you?” Gjoko asked.
The gyrados nodded.
“Well... I guess that’s to be expected, I have told you many stories about Lake Ohrid. Come on, let’s go there,” Gjoko smiled.
And so Gjoko climbed onto the gyrados’s back.
“Can I ride on it too?” Vlatko asked.
“I dunno,” Gjoko said, “Gyrados didn’t seem to like you last time...”
“Gyra! Gyrados!” the gyrados said happily, as it wagged its tail.
“Go on you two,” Falus said, “Go on. We won’t tell anyone where you’ve gone with the gyrados.”
“Yeah,” Martin said, “If the police come looking for the pokemon, then we don’t know a thing! You can count on us!”
“Thanks guys,” Gjoko smiled, and so Vlatko and Gjoko sat on the gyrados as it slithered to Lake Ohrid. Lake Ohrid was only down the road from Skopje, as Macedonia is such a small country, and the roads were empty because hardly anyone lives in Macedonia.
---
And so Vlatko and Gjoko sat with the water pokemon as it splashed in the water of Lake Ohrid. Lake Ohrid is an artificial lake that was created in the late 60’s, when Greece started to bomb Macedonia in the Macedonian-Greek war. Greece had bombed Macedonia so much that three massive holes had been created, and, when the rain started to pour, they filled, creating three artificial lakes, Lake Prespa, Dojran Lake, and the biggest of them all, Lake Ohrid. Lake Ohrid surrounded Skopje in a ring shape, and, ever since the 60’s, Skopje had been an island city, surrounded by Ohrid. Ohrid itself was also an island city. The rest of Macedonia had been bombed underwater, destroying most of the nation, and creating a massive artificial sea. The bombs also hit the coast of Bulgaria, turning Bulgaria into yet another island. The third island. The UN had to intervene to stop the relentless Greek bombing, and Greece was often threatening Macedonia with more bombs.
“Maybe we should have took your pokemon to the lake before,” Vlatko said.
“Yes,” Gjoko said, “Perhaps. Then maybe there wouldn’t have been so much trouble during Skopje Fest.”
A blue portal opened nearby, and out stepped a tiny mouse.
"Reepicheep!" Gjoko yelled.
"Yes, it is I," Reepicheep smiled, "Reepicheep! I am back!"
"What the hell is this?!" Vlatko yelled, "A talking mouse?!"
"Oh... uh oh..." Reepicheep said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Skopje Fest went pretty badly with the whole pokemon thing, huh? I was watching it.”
“We don’t know what to do, Reepicheep,” Gjoko said, “What will I do? I can’t keep Gyrados with me here in Ohrid...”
“Don’t you worry about that, Gjoko!” Reepicheep smiled, “I can put your pokemon back inside the PVR system! In fact, that is why I am here!”
“You... you can? And you’d do this... for me?” Gjoko asked.
“Yes, it’s not a problem, besides, Aslan was pretty nasty to you back in Narnia, I’m only making up for it,” Reepicheep said, as his hands glowed blue and then the gyrados disappeared in a flash of blue light.
“There, you see?” Reepicheep asked, “Gyrados is now back inside the PVR!”
“Reepicheep... I don’t know what to say...” Gjoko smiled.
“Well, ‘thank you’ might be a start,” Vlatko said.
“Ah, can it Vlatko,” Reepicheep said, “This is no time for your antics.”
“Thanks Reepicheep, you’re the best,” Gjoko said.
“You too,” Reepicheep said, “And remember, you’re always safe in the hands of Narnia!”
“Of course,” Gjoko said.
“And good luck in the Eurovision, Vlatko,” Reepicheep said, “Macedonia can move past this Pokemon incident to support you at Eurovision. You are sure to do Macedonia proud.”
“Thank you Reepicheep,” Vlatko smiled.
And with that Reepicheep turned and disappeared into a blue portal.
“Reepicheep is nice,” Gjoko smiled, “Narnia is always helping out with Eurovision-related things.”
“I’m very confused right now...” Vlatko said, “Narnia is... real? Since when? Those movies and books... how is it... real?”
“Narnia has always been real, Vlatko,” Gjoko said, “You just didn’t know it.”
---
The incident at Skopje Fest was all over the news. The news reported that the Dutch government had set a pokemon from the PVR into the Macedonian Eurovision selection. Martin and Falus told the news reporters that the pokemon had disappeared shortly after the incident at Skopje Fest, and they were believed by everyone. With each passing day, the Netherlands were hated more and more.
---
Angela Merkel was talking to the dictator of Britian, Terry Wogan, about the perceived Dutch involvement in the Skopje Fest Incident. Britain had successfully convinced the world that the pokemon in Macedonia was the result of Dutch actions.
“Well, this is quite a problem,” Angela said, "Clearly, the Dutch have shown no regard for the Macedonian Skopje Fest competition, nor the Eurovision itself. They are an abhorrent race and a stain on society and on the world as a whole, as shown by their role in the Belgian Civil War and subsequent Wallonian genocide. It seems to me that the world would be better of without the Dutch. Terry, what do you propose we do about this Dutch problem?"
"Well," Terry replied, "Clearly we have to deal with the Netherlands..."
"We will, just you wait and see..."
The future for the Netherlands looked very bleak indeed.