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Riverdance


Blue were sitting in their house, shuffling through their mail. Letters wishing them good luck in the Eurovision, fan letters, and other assorted mail. They were of course, very popular in Britain, due to the Eurovision's growing popularity, but they had not spoken a word to anyone else about what had happened in the Eurovision in Concert event. They didn't want to be seen as weirdos... but it did get them thinking... plenty of strange things seem to happen when Eurovision is involved.
"That Eurovision in Concert went pretty well... I think," Simon said.
"Yeah, it did, despite all the weirdness," Duncan said, as he shuffled through the mail.
"Let's just hope no one ever mentions Digimon around us ever again," Antony laughed.
"Haha, yeah. So, what letters have we got Duncan?" Lee asked.
"We've got a lot of fan mail due to the Eurovision," Duncan smiled, "We've even got a congratulations card from Cliff Richard!"
"How ironic," Lee laughed, "Oh well, hey, look at this one!"
It was a silver letter with glitter glued to it. On the front it simply read 'To Blue'.
And so Lee opened the letter and inside were four golden tickets. They were tickets to London Zoo, and inside there was also a letter that said:
'Dear Blue,
Please meet me at London Zoo.
Yours Sincerely,
Your Biggest Fan'
"Uhm... just what is this?" Simon asked.
"It's awesome, that's what it is!" Duncan smiled, "Finally, an invitation for us! It means we're moving up in the world, guys! And it looks like we're off to London Zoo!"
"But London Zoo isn't due to re-open for another few weeks," Antony said, "It was closed for repair, remember?"
"Well, maybe we're invited to have a look before it reopens," Duncan said, "We are Blue, you know."
"Don't you think it's a little suspicious that we have these four tickets?" Simon asked, "There's no mention of who it's from or anything. There's just nothing on who sent this to us."
"A fan, maybe?" Duncan asked, "According to this letter, our biggest fan. We do have fans you know. And maybe someone is pleased that we helped to crash the royal wedding, you know?"
"Yeah, Terry Wogan's work mostly, though, you must agree," Simon said, "But at least we've finally gotten rid of those Eurovision-hating royal scroungers!"
"Yup," Duncan smiled, "So you guys, are we going or not?"
"Of course we are!" Lee said, "It would be rude of us not to... and besides, the Eurovision has brought our popularity to new heights!"
"Great!" Antony said, "Off to London Zoo we go!"
----
Blue were now walking up to London Zoo, they walked through the open golden gates and walked up the grassy path ahead of them. Suddenly, the golden gates clattered shut behind them.
"Um, is that supposed to happen?" Simon asked.
"I don't know," Duncan said, "But I am wondering why there are no other people here with us..."
There was a sign next to them that read, 'Blue this way' with an arrow pointing to the right.
"I guess we have to follow this sign," Duncan said, and so they followed it.
They ended up in a strange enclosure, but nothing was in it. Like before, after they walked in front of the next pair of gates, when Blue were far away from them, the gates slammed shut yet again.
"God damn it!" Lee yelled, "Again?!"
"Hahahaha!" a voice yelled above them, "See Sandy, I told you this would work! It's perfect! Perfect!"
They looked overhead and saw Sandy Shaw standing on a bridge that was over the enclosure, joined by Michael Flatley.
"Ahahaha!" Sandy laughed, "Yes! We have them, we have Blue! Finally!"
"This is perfect!" Flatley laughed, "Perfect perfect perfect! This is going better than expected!"
"What the hell are you two doing?" Simon asked.
"Shut up Blue!" Flatley yelled.
"Come on Michael, mate," Duncan said, "Why are you doing this?"
Flatley just looked down at Blue standing there, and laughed.
"We can tell them," Sandy smiled, "Can't we?"
"Yes, we can. We're here to crush your Eurovision dreams, once and for all," Flatley glared, "Me and Sandy have been planning this little trick of ours for a while now. We're going to release lions into this den. Ooooh, not so tough now, are you, Blue?"
"What?! But, you're world famous!" Antony said, "You don't need to do this, you're already known in-"
"I wanted to be the British entrant this year," Flatley snarled, "I wanted to do it. I thought with Wogan being a fellow Irishman he would let me... but no! He'd rather cast aside his Irish heritage and send you miserable Brits. Wogan would rather be dictator for your miserable country than to have anything to do with us!"
"Dude, we're representing Britain," Simon said, "Of course we're going to be Brits. Why don't you go and represent Ireland? Hmmm? Scared you couldn't beat Jedward?"
"Don't dare say that name around me!" Flatley yelled, "Your insipid comments are only making my anger towards you grow... the British won't send me?! Me? Michael Flatley?! They cast me aside like spent garbage! How dare they!"
Flatley looked down at Blue, and smiled.
"And if the British won't send me..." he said, "Then they won't be sending anyone. Ahahahahaha."
"But.. but... Sandy?!" Duncan said, "Sandy, why?"
"They always forget me," Sandy said, "Always forgetting me..."
"Who?" Lee asked, "Who's always forgetting you?"
"The BBC! That's who!" Sandy yelled, "Every time, every time there is a documentary on the Eurovision, who is it about? Cliff Richard, Bucks Fizz, Katrina and the Waves, the Brotherhood of Man, blah blah blah. Who do they forget? Me, Sandy Shaw! But are they going to forget me now? No, they'll remember me as the one who got rid of Blue once and for all!"
"It's... it's no good to be remembered for something like that!" Simon said.
"I don't really care, the only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about," Sandy laughed, "Just think of the headlines it would make, 'Sandy Shaw and Michael Flatley assassinate Blue, putting an end to the disgraceful Eurovision Song Contest once and for all!'"
"Ok, well, first of all," Lee said, "That's way too long to be a headline, and secondly, you stink. You'll never get away with this, Sandy Shaw!"
"I don't want to get away with it," Sandy glared, "I want to be found, here... I want everyone to know that I killed Blue! Michael Flatley here will escape, and assassinate the disgusting dictator Terry Wogan. For too long now the Eurovision has ruled over our lives, and I am here to put it to a stop, once and for all! What happened to Prince William and Kate was a disgrace, and all done in the name of Eurovision. Eurovision fans are not fit to walk the Earth, they are disgusting creatures who fill this planet with their repulsive, kitsch garbage!"
"But... but... you won!" Duncan yelled, "You can't hate Eurovision! You won the Eurovision! 'Puppet on a string', remember?"
"That was a long, long time ago," Sandy said, "The Eurovision was something different then. Back in the days of Cliff Richard and Dana... Johnny Logan took the world by storm... but then... Eurovision changed. Changed into this filthy, kitsch show of horrid lights and glitter. A delightful caterpillar that showed so much promise... then cocooned and changed into an abomination of a butterfly. A horrid moth instead of the beautiful thing it could have been. The Eurovision changed so much. We, the oldies at the 'Eurovision' contest were forgotten. They forgot us."
"No one has forgotten you!" Simon said, "We all know who you two are!"
"Well actually, I don't really know who they are," Lee said, "I mean, I've vaguely heard of them, but-"
"Shut up Lee!" Duncan hissed, "That's really not helping, you know!"
"Forgot us... forgot us..." Sandy repeated, "I was the first act ever to win the Eurovision for this miserable country and still they forgot me! Flatley, I think you should release the lions now."
"I think you are right, Mrs. Shaw," Flatley smiled, "Goodbye Blue, it's been a pleasure... well... it hasn't. Guess which country definitely won't be winning Eurovision this year? That's right, it's the UK!"
"Noooo!" Duncan yelled, as Michael Flatley pulled a lever and the door to a cage with four lions inside opened up.
The lions growled, before walking out of their cage and looking directly at Blue.
"Well well well, this is shaping up to be quite the show!" Sandy cackled, as the lions encircled Blue.
"It sure is, Sandy," Flatley laughed, "Finally, the Eurovision halted in its tracks... it's what I've always dreamed of..."
"And of course," Sandy smiled, as Blue slowly tried to walk away from the lions below, "We're both going to be super-ultra famous! Yeah!"
"Of course Sandy," Flatley smiled, "You get to soak up the glory first, I will continue the good work and deal with the insipid 'leader' Terry Wogan, and end his Eurovision Empire!"
But suddenly, a blue portal appeared from nowhere, and Aslan, the great lion of Narnia, stepped out.
"Sandy Shaw," Aslan growled, "This is a disgrace. How dare you bring disgrace to the Eurovision Song Contest, which you once so proudly entered."
Aslan then used his powers to teleport the other lions back into their cage and shut the door.
"What the... a talking lion?!" Sandy yelled, "What is this complete madness?!"
"Yeah just what exactly is going on here?" Flatley yelled, "This is so stupid, it's ridiculous, it's-"
Aslan jumped up suddenly, landing on the bridge with Sandy and Flatley.
"You two are a disgrace to the Eurovision Song Contest!" Aslan roared, as he chased them off the bridge and into a field.
Aslan then jumped back down to where the four lions were standing. They were just standing there, watching Aslan.
"Well?" Aslan roarer, "Get back into your cages, the lot of you!"
And so the lions went back into their cages, and Aslan used his powers to shut the cage door.
"Well then, first things first, I am Aslan, the great lion of Narnia. Secondly, Terry Wogan is coming with the police," Aslan smiled, "I am here to protect the Eurovision Song Contest from it's enemies."
"Aslan?! Narnia? Just what exactly is going on here?" Simon asked.
"I will explain to you another time," Aslan said, "Now I must go. Good luck in the Eurovision, Blue."
"Uh... thanks... Aslan..." Duncan said, as Aslan disappeared in a flash of light.
---
Terry Wogan ran into the London Zoo, with about twenty policemen running behind him. The police may not want to deal with non-Eurovision matters, but the Eurovision was one thing that all the British police wanted to protect.
"Come on!" Terry yelled, "This way! Blue must be here somewhere!"
And then, they saw it. Blue locked in the lion enclosure, with Sandy Shaw and Michael Flately.
"Blue!" Terry said, "What exactly is going on in there!"
"It's Sandy Shaw and Michael Flately, they've gone nuts!" Duncan yelled.
"I thought so," Terry said, as he got the key from his pocket and opened the enclosure. As the ruler of Britain he had keys to many of Britain's public places.
"Well, police," Terry said, "Arrest them!"
----
"Hahahahaha," Terry laughed as the police lead everyone out of the zoo.
"This is a disgrace!" Flately yelled, "And Wogan, you are a disgrace to all Ireland!"
"No, I am not," Terry said, "I am the pride of all Britain! Hahaha, you two are going to be put away for a very long time!"
"Terry you treasonous scum! How dare you! We would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and that horrid lion!" yelled Sandy Shaw, as the both of them were put into the police van and driven away, off to jail, leaving Terry Wogan and Blue standing there outside London Zoo.
"How did you know, anyway?" Simon asked Terry.
"Well," Terry said, "Sandy Shaw left some plans for this attack in the London Library, where I was. These plans were so detailed, explaining how she and her Irish buddy would ruin the British system and assisinate you guys. So, I immediately called the police, and so, here we are."
"It's bad all these things that are happening," Duncan said, "And all because of Eurovision."
"Yes," Terry said "It's a good thing I realised what was happening in time. The trouble has been averted today, but of course there may always be people out there who hate the Eurovision. So we must be on our guard."
"Yeah," Duncan said, "We must be on the lookout for people who hate the Eurovision."
"But don't be put off by this. Lighten up, you guys," Terry said, "Remember, the Eurovision is the most watched event in the entire world, and we'll show them who is the best in May!"
And he was right, although there were some people out there who hated the Eurovision Song Contest, they were outnumbered by the many millions of people who loved it, Eurovision had fans all over the world; and Aslan, the great lion of Narnia, wasn't going to let anything get in the way of his favourite song contest.
The End.